Life with the Lord, for me, has been a lot like riding a tandem bicycle. It's a metaphor I heard once, and it couldn't be more true. Allow me to share with you about my journey. I hope you find it a blessing.
I started out by simply allowing Him to sit on the back seat of the bike. I had this bike, and for some unknown reason, it did seem to have an empty seat. And I kept hearing about how much He wanted to tag along. So, I let Him. Sort of.
I still struggled to hold onto my map while also steering and peddling. Rushing through the paths and roadways of life, sometimes it was very difficult to see which turn to take - let alone to keep that darn bike moving. Every now and then, on a particularly hard day, I'd lean back just far enough to give the silent signal that I needed some help. At first, all I was comfortable with was letting Him reach up and just put His hand on my shoulder, a little pat on the back. It helped.
Over time, I learned to trust Him more. He is there, each and every day, ready to ride. He seems thoroughly delighted just to be in on the trek. Eventually, I started to share with Him more. I'd talk about the plans I had, the places I was trying to get to, and even the courses I'd been plotting in my head for years. Sometimes, I even asked Him what He thought. For a long time, though, I didn't ever really listen for the answer.
After awhile, the inevitable thing would happen - again and again. I'd hit a dead end. The course I'd plotted would run into a brick wall out of no where. I'd often muster up a new round of courage and just start peddling again. Re-plotting my course. Finally, I started asking Him for input about how to get to my planned destinations. I even started listening to His answers. One day, something inside me shifted, and I had a new thought; I asked Him, for the first time, about where He thought I should be heading. Then, He answered me. And I asked Him how to get there. A lot of the destinations on His list where places I'd never even heard of. I knew I wouldn't be able to find them on my own.
One day, I noticed something else... I was peddling, peddling, peddling - each and every day. And when I got tired, I'd just hop off the bike and sit down. Well, one day, I started to get weary, and rather than stopping the bike, I just lifted up my feet for a moment. What I had been afraid to hope for happened: the bike kept moving. God was peddling. We moved faster than ever. And, although I don't know how He does it, He never seems to get tired. In fact, the less I peddled, and the more I let Him do the peddling, the better I felt, and the more pleased He seemed. And I know He has a special version of the map, because we ran into fewer and fewer dead ends.
In more recent years, I've had a new revelation in my bike ride. One day, as we got up and started to mount the bike, I did something I'd never done before. I climbed onto the back seat. He looked at me and smiled. I nodded. "Yeah," I said in acknowledgment of the decision I was making. "Please, get on." He sat in His rightful seat for the first time.
I'd be lying if I said this was an easy transition for me. It's scary in the backseat. I can't see where we're going much of the time, and I am constantly challenged to just trust Him. He is still doing most of the peddling, and almost all the navigating (although I do pipe in from time to time to make some suggestions!). I still give input on destinations sometimes, but I've found I'm getting more and more comfortable just letting Him decide.
With all these changes, I asked Him one day, "With You doing all the hard work - the planning, the peddling and even the navigation of the bumps in the road, what do you want me to do?" His answer? He wanted me to talk to Him. He wanted to get to know my heart more, and to listen. He just wanted me to work on our friendship. So, I've been doing that.
Here are some things I've learned...
He knows the best ways to go. When I let Him drive, even without any input from me, we get to the best spots. And we seem to get there with very little interference. The roadway is smoother, the weather is nicer and the path more straight.
He doesn't mind peddling. He is tireless. He's always ready to get us moving, and seems to be quite happy to put the power into our ride each and every day.
He enjoys being with me. I can't explain it, but I can just tell. He seems to love it. And, I admit, I can't always put into words the "why," but I love it too.
I am free to enjoy the ride. A lot of what we talk about these days is the journey itself. Where we're going, what it will be like when we get there, and specifics of the timeline have become less important parts of our conversation. I like to talk about the view from the road, the amazing sunsets we get to watch and the fragrances of flowers in the air. Again, I can't quite put words to it, but He seems delighted to share with me in simply appreciating the journey He's plotted. And I find that the more time I spend looking around and soaking up the specific moments on the path, the more I enjoy them.
Today is very different from those early days. Back then, I felt I was on a biking mission, and just so happened to have a tag-along I tolerated on the back seat. Today, it feels like His bike, and I am grateful that the trip is almost always in His hands. Some days, I admit, habit and fear get the best of me, and I try to wake up early and sneak out to steal thes pot in the front seat. When I do that, He just climbs on back and pats me encouragingly from behind. He never seems offended; it's amazing. What invariably happens is that it doesn't take long for me to ram us straight into our first road-block. A downed tree, a dead end, or a place where the road simply becomes impassable. I am so thankful that, most days, I finally "get it" at this point and I invite Him to sit in front again. He's so patient. And I am always happier in the backseat.
Sometimes, as I am learning to settle into the sweet spot of the seat I once thought was the lesser of the two, I just soak in the beauty of our ride together. It really is lovely. And the Lord is so kind. He always leans far enough back in the seat that I can reach Him. I find that knowing I can always reach Him brings me peace. Some days prove to be harder than others - feelings come up I didn't realize I had. Some days are just filled with overwhelming gratitude and joy. But whichever tidal wave of emotion comes my way, I like to just lean forward and lay my head across His shoulders. It's a safe and sweet place to be. His steering is just as steady; he doesn't even slow down in His tireless peddling. He isn't burdened by the weight of my worries at all. It's amazing.
And you know the most amazing part? When I lean on Him, I feel His love. And His love is palpable, powerful, tangible and real. And, in those moments, no matter what has weighed me down just minutes before, I feel free. I feel alive and alert and whole in a way I never dreamed was possible before. Before Him. My, my... what did I do before Him? How did I ever survive?
You know, as I ask that, it's a little funny to me, but I almost wonder if there ever was a life before Him? I mean, I know He wasn't always on my bike, but He has been with me forever. Somehow I know that.
What matters most for me today is that He is here now. And I know He's never going away. This decades-long lesson of learning to ride His bike hasn't been easy, and I know I still throw a lot of sticks into the spokes... but it has been more worth it than I could ever put to words. I have a place I am going now, and I have a good way to get there. I'm not usually sure of a lot of the particulars, but I have no need to worry. He has it all figured out. And I am resting on His back, letting Him drive.
Thank You, Lord, for letting me tag along!
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