Greatest Temptation

The more I reflect upon it, the more striking the difference between the way the Bible teaches us to live our lives, and the way many of us live (myself included, at times!).

What I'm thinking of particularly today is this concept of being "good enough" or living with integrity "most of the time" or doing better "compared to everyone else." I know that, personally, have seen within myself this tendency to think that my faults and sin are "not good, but not as bad as...." You can fill in the end of that sentence with anything you like; either way, I'm certain it is not the way God conceives of my sins and mistakes.

Revelation 3:15-16: "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. " (NIV)

I heard one preacher say, "If you're lukewarm, God wants to puke you up." That's pretty stark, don't you think? Yes, it may be an indelicate way of saying it, but think about it. Even the original translation uses pretty harsh language. I don't want to do or be anything that makes God want to spit me out OR puke me up! And yet, so often we do!

Let's say I feel a nudge in my spirit to share about Jesus with a co-worker; instead, afraid of her reaction, I simply casually mention that I go to church and that it's a "great church" that "everyone" should try sometime. And that's all the further I ever go. What would God say? Would that make Him gag a little?

Or, maybe I go to church each Sunday, but the Saturday night before I'm out in a bar, dressed provocatively and "innocently" flirting with the bartender, cross necklace dangling from my neck. Then what? That almost makes me want to gag a little.

I am being somewhat graphic, but there's a purpose in it.

I think it's hard for us to get our minds around the concept of a God who loves and adores us and who also, at the same time is repulsed by our middling ways. I think the mistake we (I) tend to make is that, rather than live into the challenge of reconciling the two truths, we, instead, just grab onto a more natural-feeling concept for us and settle for doing or being "good enough." I mean, my example is very exaggerated on purpose, but haven't we all had some train of thought that mirrors this one: "C'mon! Yeah, I was in the bar last night, and maybe I was a little unladylike in a few moments, but at least I made it to church Sunday morning!"

I think the challenge is to conceive of it as God does. He loves us, passionately, when we fall short - unwaveringly, steadfastly, faithfully. And even though that's hard for me to understand, it's true. He also wants to puke me out when I settle for something less than.

I heard that same preacher say that our "greatest temptation" was not to become hedonistic heathens, lawless and without God...maybe disgusting to the world around us, but instead, our greatest temptation to live our lives lukewarm, halfway looking to and submitting to a Lord who gave it all for us.

I certainly don't mean to blame or evoke shame; that's so contrary to the heart of God. Rather, I intend simply to remind myself (and you) of God's priority in our behavior. He doesn't sit back and shrug His shoulders with a "well, that's alright" when we do it half way. And neither should we give that same tacit approval - neither to ourselves nor one another. His very sacrifice enables us to do more, to be more and to live in a way that makes Him beam with pride, glorifying His Holy Name.

That fire can be your reality. Today. And if you're afraid of not being able to heat up past lukewarm, remember that He will help you; all you have to do is ask. He will not fail you.

Freely Given

The first chapter of Ephesians is one of my favorites, and today, I found a new gem within its verses. I love it when that happens!

Let's start here:

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." Ephesians 1:4-6 (NIV)

What caught my attention today (after the influence of a conversation with a friend!) was this phrase from the last verse: "which he has freely given."

I was simply reminded of the model given to us in Jesus and in the Father's sacrifice of His only Son. The gift of His sacrifice was given to us all, but not just given...given freely. For me, this is a gentle reminder to look within my own heart at my own giving.

Whether it be giving of my time, of my talents, my resources or my energy, I believe that its God's model for us that we give with this same freedom. For a more convincing and direct comment from the Bible, see 2 Corinthians 9:7: "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." (NIV)

This concept used to really frustrate me. I would wonder, "Well, what if I'm simply not cheerful about giving in this way?" It would be nice, wouldn't it, if we were able and available to freely and cheerfully give anything and everything someone might want for us to give? However, I'm pretty sure that any one of us with human limitations (which is all of us!) are unable to do so 100% of the time. So then what?

Well, I think the Biblical principle them demonstrates that it's right for us to address the unwillingness we have in our giving. For me, sometimes I just need to give anyway, regardless of how I feel. After all, my feelings in any given moment aren't always the best representation of reality. However, at other times in my life, I've learned that I need to go ahead and say "no" sometimes. For me, when I know I am free to say "no" in my own life, I find myself more open with the freedom to say "yes" as well. The net result, for me, seems to be that I not only give more, but the giving I do is with a far more cheerful heart.

My personal belief is that the commands and direction of the Bible are not intended to point out all the ways in which I do life "wrong." Instead, they're basic intention is to show me a way to do life better. And, quite honestly, when I have focused energy on creating space and a way for myself to give more cheerfully, the quality of my giving improved dramatically.

Furthermore, I believe Jesus' example for us is always something we can learn from, and His demonstration of giving freely is one to learn from for me as well.

It hasn't been an easy road (or a fast one) for me to learn how to freely give. And sometimes new scenarios present new challenges. I do try, however, to give from that place of joy and willingness, rather than a place of fear of retribution or obligation. My belief and hope is that this approach honors God most - in both the short run and the long.

As always, I'm a work in progress, but feel like this area is one in which my growth has meant a lot - to me, to those to whom I give and, I hope, to the Lord above, whose approval I crave most of all!

Moments without Words

Believe it or not, I have times, moments and situations when I am truly at a loss for words. I have found myself with a hurting heart, a frightened spirit or a baffled mind...and when I come to Him to pray, sometimes I really just am not sure what to say.

I have one prayer I picked up from a Beth Moore tip a few years ago. When I don't know what else to say, sometimes I just ask Him to "Be big." I have definitely come to the feet of the cross in moments of fear, hurt or confusion and said, "God, I don't know...Father, I just don't know. Please, just be big. Be big in my life. Be big in my heart. Be big in the situation. Please, just be big." Thankfully, we serve a very, very big God. He has yet to let me down.

I have another one that I recently picked up from a song whose lyrics came back to me this weekend in one of those moments where I really didn't know what to pray. The lyrics declare, "Jesus, Your name is power, breath and living water!" Ahhh, I love just typing that; gives me goosebumps! And, yes!!! Yes! Yes!!

So, what "prayer" did I take from this? I just started repeating that very phrase over and over again... "Jesus, Your name is power! Jesus, your name is breath - and living water! Jesus, I declare Your name over this moment, over my heart, over my fears. You are Power; Your name is power, Lord! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Your name is power!"

And I swear to you now, that prayer was powerful. I could feel it! I could sense it! And my internal "situation" changed immediately! There is power in the name. There is power in His very being. He is life. He is breath. He is living water. And simply declaring that - as many times as you need to - is, I have no doubt, a refrain that the enemy and all his minions hear. They must tremble!

So, friends, this may be a simple message, but I know I can always use the reminder. There is power in even His name! Use it! He offers it up freely, and (I have to think) rejoices when you call!

Coming Your Way

There's a new song that has been filling many of my meditation times. It's called "I'm Coming Your Way," and it's on the "Everyone Overcome" album from the Desperation Band. It's a great song, and it's been drifting in and out of my thoughts so much lately.

The lyrics to this song are remarkably simple; the majority of the song is one single refrain: "I'm coming your way." When I first heard this song, I had understood it to mean essentially that the singer is going in God's direction. When the voice is mine, I was singing, "I'm coming to You; I'm coming in your direction."

Later, I realized that there is another possible meaning. Maybe it's intended to be saying, "I'm going to come along this path in the way You intend; I'm doing it your way." Rather than "your way" being a path or direction, maybe it's a method or an approach.

For some reason, my mind has gotten a little stuck on this idea of figuring out which meaning is the intended. Then, revelation being what it is, it occurred to me that maybe it's both. Or neither.

It's possible that Jared Anderson (the songwriter) didn't intend to have the song be a singer's words to God, but instead, God's words to the singer. The other lyrics in the song (which are few) don't make that immediately clear to me. What I did realize (eventually) is that it doesn't really matter what intent the writer had. There is value in all possible interpretations (which is one of those things I love about art!).

For me, I need the reinforcement of a constant affirmation to the Lord: I'm coming in Your direction, God! I'm coming to You!

Just as much, I need to continually make the call of my life one that cries out that I'm doing this Your way! I'm coming along in the way manner You dictate.

Lastly, I will certainly let the reverse message soak in: He is coming in my direction; He is coming and chasing after me and my heart - always and continually. I love that about Him.

So, whatever its author's original intent, I invite you to let the words soak into your head and heart too; I feel certain that (from all angles) the message is a good one.

Self-Defense

So, I started my day today with a self-defense course put on by a local community organization. It was great, and I mentioned to my friend that I thought 90% of the "trick" was just getting people to think of themselves as empowered to retaliate. The instructors shared with us that the biggest problem is that many people who find themselves on the wrong end of an attack simply freeze.

Our instructors repeated to us that its important for us to decide now whether or not we were going to be victims in the moment of attack. They said it again and again: "decide now." I thought their logic made a lot of sense. In the moment, they said, people often freeze up and forget everything they "know" simply because they've been caught off guard. I can understand that; in the moment, it's probably hard to think all that rationally and calmly.

Later this afternoon, I started thinking about the parallels I've seen in my own life to the way I can respond to spiritual attack sometimes. I "know" all sorts of things about spiritual attack; but I often find myself floundering or at least wallowing in fear a bit before I get my combat mode going.

So, I started thinking... what would it mean for me to "decide now" that I am not going to be a victim in an attack, but that, instead, I will be a fighter? Unlike physical attack, I am absolutely certain that I WILL be subject to spiritual attack in my life - many times, and the next time will be soon, I'm sure.

Our instructors also talked about how important it was that we practice our moves and responses. "The way you practice," he said "is the way you'll be in the situation." Hmm...more food for thought. How can I practice? How can I psych myself up for battle and make sure that, when the time comes (because it WILL come!) I'm ready with my spiritual guns blazing. I don't want to be a wallflower; in fact, my goal is to be so full of faith and holy fire that when Satan thinks about attacking me, he just gives up because he knows it'll be a waste of time.

Yes, I think mental preparation is key. And, deciding now that I will stand and fight. Immediately. My suspicion is that spiritual attack is the same as physical attack: the first couple moments can make or break the outcomes. What about you? What will you "decide now?"

Change & Changed

I'm pretty sure that most of us come to God quite frequently asking Him to change us. Many of us came to the Lord for the first time, in fact, seeking the kind of change that can be brought about only by His power.

Yet, as I've noticed in myself at times, it seems like we want God to change the parts of our lives and our selves that we offer up, but can sometimes resist His hand of change in other areas.

So, I had to start asking some basic questions:

What does it really mean to have our lives changed? Are we willing to really have our lives changed? Many of us seek God because we want our lives changed...but, somehow, we expect that to happen without change in our lives.

What am I, personally, willing to let go of, in order for His priorities for change to be accomplished? Or, more importantly, what am I not willing to release? And, if there's anything on that list, am I at least willing to have Him make me willing to surrender that too?

For me, I think this is a good gut-check to undergo periodically. How about you?

The point is that my relationship with God is in large part about change, and not just any change, but revolution...just as much as revelation. He came to change the fate of each one of us - and not just to adjust it or tweak it a bit, but to up-end the father of lies and his reign here on earth. He came to give me eternal life rather than condemnation to certain death. I'd say that's pretty major in the category of changes.

Yet, sometimes, I get comfy in my life. I like my job; I like my friendships. I don't want to "mess up" my schedule or my routine. *sigh* I think that, in this frame of mind, I'm missing a big part of the point. Isn't that just it? When God wants to change me or change my life and my routine, I do sometimes tend to think of it as Him "messing up" my plans. Yikes. That feels icky just to type it; but, it's still true.

And, truthfully, when I stop and examine it, I know there's nothing I need more than to have my plans all sorts of messed up. When have I ever let go of my plan, and embraced His and then, later, regretted it? Never. That's when; never. His plan is ALWAYS better than mine.

And, truthfully, I ask for His change in my heart and in my life all the time. So, how dare I recoil when, in response to my prayers for a heart more focused on service, He totally up-ends my professional life and gives me tons of time...maybe He's just giving me the time to get my servants heart in gear (act my way into right thinking, rather than trying to think my way into right acting). Maybe, just maybe, He's waiting on me!

I do think the old adage of "be careful what you wish for" can be applied here; but, at the same time, I think we can ask in boldness and confidence, because Him of who we ask it is trustworthy. If anything, I need to be careful about my tendency to ask for Him to rock my world, and then run for cover when a few pebbles shake off the walls.

Lord, if that's what it takes, flip me upside down. I wanna be like You. I want to chase after the dreams that YOU have dreamed for me. Help me to surrender in peace every inch of my life to Your will and plans. Your way is the only way I want to go. Help me, lead me, guide me, change me!

Boldness in Worship

I've said before that I was a bouncer by nature, but that I didn't think I'd ever be a jumper. So, in case that's not immediately clear, I'll give you a hint: I'm talking about worship.

I know this type of thing varies widely from church to church; styles are different, and there isn't one right worship style or any style that's wrong. In fact, I took a seminar once on "right brained worship" that was very inspiring and cool.

According to good ole Merriam-Webster, worship has several definitions. My two favorite:

1) reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power ; also : an act of expressing such reverence & 2) extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem

So, let me ask you this: How often do you think about the people next to you in worship? I'll admit that I think about them often. Who is around me? What are they thinking? How do I look in the middle of this?

Those thoughts come to me less and less, and I have decided to start praying for them to go away whenever they come into my mind. Worship is about God. Not about me. And yes, I'm someone who tends to bounce and bop by nature. I found myself recently moved to jump up and down too (this happens a lot at the church I attend... we like to rock out with the worship tunes). Then, while away at a conference (which included a lot of awesome worship), I also found myself wanting to sort of jump and spin. Yes, that's what I said. Jumping & spinning around.

So, I did.

Then, later, I found myself feeling the urge to get down on my knees and just keep bowing down to Him over and over again, while the worship band sang a refrain of "Hallelujah" again and again. So, I did.

I admit; this was definitely the boldest I'd ever been in worship. And, I hope it continues. Being self-conscious while I'm praising God is exactly the opposite of what I want...literally! Worship time is about worship, not about me. So, the less conscious I am of me, the better.

The greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all our hearts, soul & mind! And if I'm not doing that in the midst of times set aside for worship, I definitely feel I have something more to strive for.

Now, one thing I want to make clear: I don't think that letting go in worship has to include bowing down or jumping around or even bopping! You don't even have to put your arms up! I think it's about our focus. And, for me, when I stop myself from what I might feel naturally pulled to do because of my awareness of others around me and/or their judgment, I take my eyes off of Him and miss the mark.

I recently came across this story in 2 Samuel; it's been on my heart and mind a lot lately, and is (in part) the inspiration for this post. I think there is a lot that can be learned from it. I'll close with this for today. The bold demarkations are mine; enjoy.

"It was reported to King David that God had prospered Obed-Edom and his entire household because of the Chest of God. So David thought, "I'll get that blessing for myself," and went and brought up the Chest of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David, celebrating extravagantly all the way, with frequent sacrifices of choice bulls. David, ceremonially dressed in priest's linen, danced with great abandon before God. The whole country was with him as he accompanied the Chest of God with shouts and trumpet blasts. But as the Chest of God came into the City of David, Michal, Saul's daughter, happened to be looking out a window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before God, her heart filled with scorn.

They brought the Chest of God and set it in the middle of the tent pavilion that David had pitched for it. Then and there David worshiped, offering burnt offerings and peace offerings. When David had completed the sacrifices of burnt and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of God-of-the-Angel-Armies and handed out to each person in the crowd, men and women alike, a loaf of bread, a date cake, and a raisin cake. Then everyone went home.

David returned home to bless his family. Michal, Saul's daughter, came out to greet him: "How wonderfully the king has distinguished himself today—exposing himself to the eyes of the servants' maids like some burlesque street dancer!" David replied to Michal, "In God's presence I'll dance all I want! He chose me over your father and the rest of our family and made me prince over God's people, over Israel. Oh yes, I'll dance to God's glory—more recklessly even than this. And as far as I'm concerned...I'll gladly look like a fool...but among these maids you're so worried about, I'll be honored no end."

Michal, Saul's daughter, was barren the rest of her life." 2 Samuel 12-23 (MSG)

In the World?

In the years since I rededicated my life to Christ, His fingerprint has shown up all over my life. My work place is one area in which I am intentional about two things: 1) Being myself and 2) Letting this include the revelation to others that I love and follow Jesus.

I haven't found it useful or effective to be aggressive or pushy about my faith, but I am open and frank with others who ask, and volunteer readily any relevant information when it comes up naturally. For example, rather than telling people, "I am going on vacation to Colorado," I'm the first one to say, "I'm going on a trip to chaperon our church's youth group to a youth conference in Colorado." May not seem like much of a difference, but as I've lived this way the last few years, I'm struck more and more by how unusual this seems to be. There are a lot of folks that I've come across in different areas of my personal life that won't say a word about their own spiritual and religious life until others are out of the room. I don't judge these folks and their hesitancy, and there is a large part of me that really, really understands the plight of the "closet Christian."

Part of the problem, I think, is that there's a societal perception of Christians as people who are incapable of being a part of regular society....people who are "weird." My personal belief is that it is possible to be "set apart" and still be a part of a "normal" social circle, especially in contexts like a workplace. If I only hang out with other believers at work, I won't have much opportunity to influence others, will I?

The trick, I've found, is living in integrity with my conviction while also being a part of the world around me. Because although this is not my "home," I do live here for the time being. And to be salt and light to the world requires, at least in part, having some interaction with it.

I'll be honest in saying a few things, none of which may seem to go together at this point:

1) I am still figuring out how to do both. How to be in the world without being of the world is a work in progress for me. I want each day to honor the heart of God; and I want to not be so removed from the unbelievers around me that they miss the chance to see what a difference it can make to live this way.

2) I know that living this "outloud" kind of way makes a difference. I definitely have friends at work who note and have been influenced by the ways in which I am not like "everyone else." And some of them have asked a lot of questions. Some of them haven't. I leave some of that up to God and His plans.

3) There are people who have shied away from me once they've figured out the reasons behind my unwillingness to participate in gossip or other negativity, etc. And that's okay. I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a sold-out follower of Jesus in this context. And being unpopular with a few coworkers who have their own reservations standing in the way is the least of my concerns. I stand before a great cloud of witnesses, and there is only One whose approval matters.

I think this is an area the Lord is asking me to explore further, so you may see more about it here. What does it mean, and how far should one go? And what does that look like? I don't have most of the answers yet. But I do know that it's a work in progress, figured out one day at a time... just like most other things.

One Last Thing

My posting today will be short and sweet. I'm thinking, as I begin, about legacy. There is much talk in our culture about the "legacy" that's left behind someone. A legacy of a politician, a business leader, a father, a mentor, a teacher... there are many places in which we can leave a legacy.

I'm curious, though, as to why we seem to conceive of legacy as such a final and parting concept. Yes, it's possible that what we do at the "end" (of a life, of a season, of a relationship, of a job, etc) may be important in its own unique way, but it certainly isn't the only place and time at which we can leave behind a story of who we are.

Think about Jesus. Yes, some of His final actions in the Bible are, of course, some of His most important (and He's still at work today!...but let's just go with the end of what made the pages of the Bible...). But, what if that was all that we knew of Him in His time here on earth? We'd be missing out on the stories of Jesus that not only instruct, but endear Him to us as well. Some of my favorite stories of Jesus are things that happened in His life along the way.

So, what does that mean to us? Well, I propose living today as a day at the end of which we can look back and look at our legacy for today. Rather than look at our lives, in wide screen, why not look at July 21, 2009 and say, "Now, what was my July 21st legacy?" Of course the old cliche crosses my mind: today might be my last anyway! But, really, why live life for the story at the end. We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses today. We impact the lives of the people around us today. I would much rather have a non-descript "legacy" when I leave this earth while having a host of stories about the impact I had on a coworker or friend's specific day.

I think of those old bracelets, "WWJD?" What would Jesus do? Well, I think that He would promote having a big-picture view, a kingdom view. Yes. But not the exclusion of the everyday legacy. Plus, I think it's probably by the compilation of the daily legacies that lifelong legacies that matter most are made.

A Little More Than I Can Do

By the time you're reading this, I will already have returned from the trip I'm about to discuss, but I decided I'd like to share this story nonetheless. So, timeline will be a little off, but it usually is on this blog anyway. So, here we go...

I'm leaving soon to go on a trip with our church's youth group. It will be 20 adults and 145 teens, heading off to the mountains for a youth conference and some quality time with the Lord and each other.

Some of the adult leaders met last week to prepare for the trip, covering both physical and practical topics, as well as those of spiritual preparation.

As I've been reflecting on what lies ahead, I've felt a little brush here or there of fear. Our job, for roughly six days is to just get completely outside ourselves and love these teens like Jesus does. I will say that my conscious and honest aim is to love others each and every day in the same way Jesus does, but at the end of most days, I get to go home to my nice quiet refuge of a house, decompress and stare at the wall a bit.

This week, I'll be surrounded by what I feel pretty certain will amount to a great deal of chaotic, high energy and high-hormone fun. These are teenagers, after all! If you're not still a teen, do you remember what it was like? I know I wasn't the only one who felt like I was going crazy half the time!

In any case, what I'm sure of is that, in order to do what it is I aim to do on his trip, I need some help. And I'm talking the Big Guns. It is only by the gift of God's Spirit that I have any chance of maintaining six days of outpouring love for these kids. And I am grateful to be able to know absolutely that He will provide. I have no doubts that it is His will that they be loved and respected - and not just for these 6 days, but every day! And I am certain that He has more than enough power to keep the love going, even with 2 days of bus riding and sleeping on the floor!

I am looking forward to being a conduit for His lavish adoration of these kids; and I am looking forward, almost with as much anticipation, for what He'll teach me in the process.

We Are the Body

I heard someone on the radio today speaking about health care; they were discussing the way we (as a nation/society/race) approach it. One sentiment caught my attention. The speakers were discussing the ways in which, as a society, we deal with other major "things" in our lives. Our cars, one person pointed out, aren't purchased part by part. We don't first buy an engine, and then purchase a transmission and then go buy a hood. No, we consider our car a whole thing, and we consider it a single thing. True, there are individual elements of a car, and they do work together in tandem. At certain times, one specific part is failing...and then we go straight for that piece. But, in general, if you don't have a whole car, you're not going anywhere.

This makes me think about the metaphors that are used to describe the body of the church. In general, we need all the "parts" to make a healthy, functional body. There's much wonderful dialogue about the need for each part to play its assigned part in order to achieve harmonious and productive balance.

I think it's also fair to take this metaphor of the church body and micro-size it a bit to examine our own individual spiritual lives. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I certainly need all the parts: I need time alone for reflection. I need time in conversation with the Lord. I need time listening. I also need time reading the Bible. But I need more than that, as well. To be in a place that is fully spiritually whole, I also need fun time to relax and kickback in a safe, supportive and loving environment. I need friends who are followers of Jesus, helping hold me accountable and helping teach me things they know as I journey through the challenges of life. I need feedback from spiritual leaders and friends alike. I need the whole picture.

Again, I can only speak for myself, but I also believe that these principles are modeled by (in part) and supported by Jesus and the Biblical approach to a life in pursuit of Jesus. Now, of course, I think God can cover any and all bases when necessary...certainly I don't believe that an illiterate person, unable to read the Bible, would be unable to have a full and enriching spiritual life. Not at all; God makes a way (and, hopefully, a church somewhere is teaching folks who need to learn how to read!). What I do find hard to grasp is folks who speak about being alone in their faith pursuits.

I have someone close to my own life whose personal spiritual journey has been almost completely solitary. He professes that he can (and does) have a "spiritual" life that is just between him and God as he understands Him. It's not my place to judge, and I do see signs of growth in this life. But, truthfully, when I come back to as a baseline is why. Why do it that way? Just because you can doesn't mean that you should. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm a demonstrable fan of making things harder than they need to be (wink). But, really, going solo in this endeavor - even just alone with God - seems harder. And why make it harder if it doesn't have to be?

Of course there are a million exemptions and exceptions and variable circumstances. I know God has used seasons of extreme solitude to work miracles in my own life, but in the big picture, spanning a lifetime, I am grateful that I have others with which to share the journey. Some are my dear, close friends. Some are just authors and teachers whose work has influenced me greatly. But, regardless of who, I am glad I don't have to go even this earthly part of the journey alone.

My Way Or...

I'd like to share a little lesson God's been working on in me. My fear says that no one else out there will be able to relate, but even if that's the case, this has still be true experience for me.


Some might put this under the "Type A personality" umbrella, and maybe that's where it belongs, but I have a tendency to believe that my way is the "right" way to do something. Now, of course, in many instances, if someone asked me to consciously consider it, I'd tell you that there are often many ways to accomplish the same thing, and that, usually, many ways are just as "good" as another. But, when it comes to setting me down in front of a task that needs accomplishing, I find that I usually have a very clear idea about what I think is the "right" (or at least the "best") way to tackle it.

Recently, through identifying some unintentional judgment, I realized that I do this even in regards to spending time with and growing in the Lord. I know people who have a very regimented approach to their time with God. They spend exactly "x" number of minutes, each day, as soon as they wake up. A specific portion of that time is spent in active, vocal prayer. A second portion spent in reading the Bible and a third portion spent in some other pre-designated way. Then I know people who sort of just make time for Him each day, reading or writing prayers. And there are a million variations in the middle and on either side.

I felt very clearly the Lord remind me recently that I don't need to "worry" about how someone else might approach their relationship with him. Just like our relationships with one another, each relationship with Jesus is unique. And that the only way to do it "wrong" is not to do it at all. So, my job as a friend, as a supporter and as a fellow in Christ is to support those relationships, no matter how they look or what they encompass as part of their routine. Even if that means there is no routine!

Lord, help me to let You handle everything that isn't mine to put my hands on. Help me to love and support those in my life who are pursuing You, and to celebrate that they seek Your heart - whether their journey looks similar to mine or not!

Always Something

There's a saying that goes "It's always something." I've been thinking about one of the potential usages of this phrase lately, and asking myself, "Is it really?"

I have spent a good portion of my life working to improve, trying to grow and striving to succeed. Before I learned to let the Lord fuel these quests, I found myself to be one very tired person!

What I'm seeing lately is that, unlike previous times in my life, I seem to go through short periods where, really, nothing major is going on. When someone asks me, "So, what, deep down, is going on with you?" Every now and then, I don't really have anything to offer as an answer. These times are usually short lived (God seems to start a new lesson soon), but for awhile, I found them to be unnerving.

I think I was so accustomed to always working to get "better," that I found that times in which I wasn't knee-deep in effort left me feeling afraid that I was either doing something wrong, or maybe getting worse!

More recently, I've realized that God is working in me, even in the times in which it seems like He's not. For starters, He's teaching me how to rest. My desire to do do do and go go go in my search for development is fundamentally an attempt to control. I feel like if I'm not doing something, I'll miss whatever the "something" is I'm supposed to be finding. The truth, however, is that when God is ready to get me into a lesson, I need only to be in a place of willingness to proceed down His path. He knows how to get things underway, regardless of whether or not I'm frantically scanning for a starting point.

It's amazing to me that He can work in me by seeming to not work in me. I'm shaking my head as I type. Sometimes, I feel completely humbled by His infinite wisdom. I know I say it a lot, but really, He knows what He's doing. I pray He'll continue to teach me to just follow His lead; it's all I need!

These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes...

I had studied dreams in college psychology classes. I'd learned what Freud had to say; I'd learned what neuroscience has to say about random neuron firing. I've recently realized that there was one expert opinion with which I'd hadn't yet familiarized myself: God's.


My initial thought about the Biblical take on dreams was one of skepticism; thanks to the acculturation of the secular and "church" worlds, my immediate association with dreams and dream interpretation was with witchcraft, tarot and spiritists. In short, dream interpretation seemed like a seedy topic and one of which I ought to be wary.


Then, as He has a habit of doing, God got involved and shook up my world view (I'm so glad He does that!). In the constant richness of the Bible, I often find new verses, new inferences, and even new stories. Somehow, however, I had simply overlooked the importance and relevance of the numerous stories in the Bible in which the Lord speaks to His people through their dreams. If someone had asked me, "Does the Lord speak to people in the Bible through dreams?," I would have said, "Yes, a bunch!" But, that said, I'd still somehow overlooked the relevance of this fact to my own life!


Naturally, like most (all?) of us, I have dream all the time when sleeping. I even remember some of them sometimes! ;) I was telling a friend that, sometimes, I wake up and can see traces of random conversations from my day in my dreams; and I've had some dreams that are hilarious to recount, many of which seem to be peppered with these amalgamations of my day.


On the other hand, sometimes I have dreams that, when I wake, I seem to sense a certain significance. In the past, I hadn't really put two and two together; the "significance" seemed sort of cosmic and perhaps psychological. I hadn't put much stock into it.


Then, I had a conversation with a friend in which she talked about her own ideas about dreaming, and God speaking to us through dreams. Then (that very same night, in fact!...God is funny that way), I had a dream that I knew was significant. It had that same "sense" about it, and thanks to the preparation that came by way of my conversation the evening prior, I knew to start looking for a new layer of insight.


I prayed about the dream and what I thought it meant; I asked for God to confirm and enlighten. In the couple months since this dream, it's been on my mind and heart a lot. I wasn't really sure inside about relying upon it. So (finally!), I decided to check it against my manual for life: the Bible.


The Bible doesn't have anything to say about the specific scenario in my dream, but it does have a lot to say about dreams. I did a quick study for the word "dream" in some of my Bible software, and across various translations, I came up with 661 hits! Wow! I encourage you to do your own search if you'd like a more in depth review.

What I will summarize with is this: There are a multitude of examples in which the Bible says the Lord speaks directly to people through dreams. The vast majority of these are in the Old Testament, but I didn't find anything that indicated His practice was or would be different after the coming of Jesus, although the new gift of the presence of the Holy Spirit does seem to be a potentially impacting factor. One New Testament reference, however, talks about the end times and that, in those times, "old men shall dream dreams" (Acts 2:17).

While it isn't explicitly stated, at least based on my inquiries so far, I think it's reasonable to assume that God's usage of dreaming for communication is likely to be continuous from the times of the Old Testament through today and on into the end times.

This isn't a particularly profound closer for this post, but my heart has been encouraged and stimulated by the realization of a new way in which God can communicate with me, and in which I can now better receive from Him! I'll be taking any dreams I feel are from Him back to His feet in prayer, and I trust He will reveal to me whatever He wants me to see!

Hope

I'll reference one of my favorite verses to kick off a post on one of my favorite topics:

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

I want you to know that, as a foundation for a little deeper word study, I checked nine different translations of the Bible, and each of them used the word "hope" in this verse. So, naturally, I looked into "hope" a little more deeply (again...I have to admit; I study into this particular word on a perennial basis; I love it so!).

So, now onto the Greek. The word used here, elpizo, is also frequently translated as "to trust." I think the best way to demonstrate its truest meaning might be to give a few verses in which this word is used, and then explain a little more:

Take 1 Timothy 5:5 for example, "She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day...." (ESV)

Or, Matthew 12:21, as it references Isaiah and speaks of Jesus: "In his name the nations will put their hope." (NIV)

Lastly, how about 2 Corinthians 1:10: "He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us." (NIV)

In my experience, we (as a culture) tend to use the word hope in a way that indicates a big maybe. "I hope I win the lottery" or "I hope they call our name soon." Maybe, "I hope it rains tonight." At least as I've heard it used, this word is generally used to indicate a positive desire for something that may or may not happen. We use it almost like a 50/50, or maybe kind of prospect.

This is not the way the Bible uses this word, elpizo.

The simplest, and most concise definition I found read simply, "to expect with desire." This verse is used "in an absolute sense." In fact, one of the listed synonyms was the word meaning "to expect"! I don't know about you, but that gives me a whole new perspective!

This faith that Hebrews 11:1 talks about isn't a simple "Gee, wouldn't it be nice?" kind of faith!

Look at the three example verses above. These verses are about hoping in the Lord, and don't you think it's fair to say that the widows can expect, without doubt, that they'll be cared for by their Father? It is one of His promises! And the nations can put their hope in Jesus! That's no "if we're lucky" prospect!

Faith is being "sure" of what we hope for...sure of that which we know to expect, based on His words to us!

Please remember when you hope in Him, as He instructs, there is no maybe. He is faithful. Absolutely.

I might invite you to look at a few of your favorite verses about hope, or do a little digging and find some new verses to become favorites if you don't have some already. Let this Biblical definition of hope give you new inspiration, and build up in you a stronger faith in Him!

Look Up

I'm going to start out today by asking you to please just bear with me on this one. What I'd like to convey would be much easier if I could sit you down in front of me and gesture wildly with my hands. However, that is tough to do over blogspot, so elaborate and wordy descriptions will just have to do. :)

Okay, do me a favor...put your hand up to your head, as if you're doing a military style solute.

Did you do it?

Okay, now, with your hand there, look up (meaning look up with your eyes, don't actually tilt your head upward). In this same position, move your hand up, a centimeter at a time, until you can no longer see your hand. If you're like most people, this will probably be at or near your hair line.

Okay, now, please keep that in mind as we go on today. And, by the by, thanks for being a good sport. :)

When I am looking out, across the metaphoric "landscape" of my life, I tend to look in one of three directions. Please, for the sake of the metaphor, picture this with me in your mind.

Most often, I look exactly where I am. This essentially leaves me looking straight down at my feet. Can you picture it?

Otherwise, I tend to look in two other directions: either straight ahead, or (sometimes) backwards.

So, if you want to win extra "good sport" points today, try these three poses for me, will you?

Try standing up, and with your hair-line salute in place, then look down at your feet, directly at the spot in which you are currently standing. Good.

Now, look straight ahead (keep that hand up there at your hairline!).

Lastly, keep your feet firmly planted and turn over a shoulder (or alternate back and forth looking over both shoulders alternately).

Now, what on earth am I getting at here? Other than the sheer amusement of knowing that at least a couple of you might have actually gone through this "Simon says" for the sake of playing along?

Well, my message today is about perspective. In any of those three positions (looking down at the "right here", looking straight ahead or looking back), I personally find it hard to see very much of the landscape, and that's saying something, because I'm pretty limber and have quite good vision!

If I were to find myself in some completely unrealistic life-situation, where I was in some sort of real danger and needed to be alert, the last thing I'd be likely to do in spend time locked into any one of these three positions. And why not? Because I can't see much! Shoot, per the metaphor, I can't even see my own hand just a few inches above my eyes!

This, I think, is how we tend to live life.

"For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9 (NLT)

Think about how high above us most of us imagine the heavens to be! God's ways and His thoughts, by account of His own word, are FAR above us! And I can't even see my hand when it's just inches above my brow!

My point is this: I can so easily get stuck in my own point of view. I stand mired in my own tiny view of my own tiny world...and when I do, I can easily be overcome by fear, doubt, overwhelm or worry. And the way I see this playing out internally has a lot to do with the gymnastics of a metaphor I've rolled out here.

When I look down at my feet, focused on the spot in which I find myself right now, I miss a HUGE amount of the view of the world around me. There is so much I don't see, and even more that I simply can't see. Any time, in fact, that we as humans focus our attention in spot, we lose sight (literally) of much more that is around us.

I think back to my silly examples of true physical vision. If I really want to see the wides perspective, you know how I might position myself? I might just lay down, flat on my back, and look up towards the heavens. I like to cover my bases, so I'd probably roll my head around a bit - taking in all I can, but nonetheless. Within the context of simple area, I think this might be how I'd see the most breadth.

So, what's all this to mean? What's the point of all that I'm trying to demonstrate here? Well, I think it's this:

For me, remembering that I can only see a tiny fraction of the whole picture at one time keeps me humble; it helps remind me that there's no need to worry about only the tiny sliver of reality I can see. It also helps me not get "too big for my britches" by reminding me that my Maker in Heaven is the only One with a true point of view. He sees all, knows all and understands all. His ways are not just beyond, but also above my ways. His thoughts are higher than I could ever see...no matter which way I'm facing.

So, rather than strain my neck and end up with all sorts of cramps and aches, I think the best thing for me to do is just lay down on the ground, rest on the earth He made for me relax knowing that He is in charge. There isn't a respite that could be better than resting in His able arms. So, consider forgoing all the acrobatics we seem to love to put ourselves through, and instead, just let your Father do what He does best. We can't see what He does anyway!

Will Pray for Mustard Seed

The story recounted in the middle of Matthew 17 has always been troubling for me:

"When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. "Lord, have mercy on my son," he said. "He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him."

"O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me." Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment.

Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:14-20 (NIV)

At different times, I've read this story different ways. I admit that, in times of arrogance, I've read it and thought, "How can even the disciples be lacking faith? Wow...those guys really had some issues!" :)

What usually strikes me most though is this address from Jesus: "O unbelieving and perverse generation...." I've generally read this as a condemning and (honestly) sort of harsh thing for Jesus to say. I've felt little pokes at my heart as I've read it and seen myself in the unbelief of the apostles, and then some!

This weekend, however, I was given a new insight.

I was talking with a friend this weekend, and we were talking about the ways in which it's so easy for us to mistrust and doubt God. I was talking about my almost compulsive desire to try to control, and reflecting on how much that says about my lack of faith (at times) in God's hand and provision.

As a way of demonstrating the far reaches of my human impulse to try to control and orchestrate, I was commenting on how different my life is today than it was 10 years ago. I even got choked up as I stopped to really think about how different. Friends, I tell you truly that no one, no one would or could have predicted I'd be today where I am in my life. And on that list of folks who would have guessed my thirtieth year would be anything but peaceful and submitted, I'd have been at the top of the list. It is in my own life, more than anywhere else, that I have seen the true miracles and power of God's hand and intervention in our lives.

I commented to my friend that only God could have or would have known that I could be where I am today, a child of His own heart, standing tall in the Light of His love. It was in that moment that my new insight knocked the breath right out of me.

As I'd been talking about all the ways and places in which I consciously and unconsciously fear a lack of God's faithfulness, I'd stopped to remember all He has done for me. And that juxtaposition, that stark contrast...it made me realize just how Jesus could, in probable exasperation say, "Oh, you perverse and unbelieving heart..." I didn't hear it in my heart with a spirit of frustration or blame anymore, but with a spirit of disbelief and marvel at how a heart like mine, with SO much proof in its own stockpiles, could still...still...doubt God's hand in and plan for my life. It makes my own unbelief startling to me, and twisted. I don't say this with a spirit of condemnation for myself, nor with an attitude of making excuses. I am just reminded at how much and how thoroughly the devil can and will try to twist our minds. Perverse suddenly seems like such an apt word...what a surprise.

A Right Hand Helper

I'd like to start by highlighting two translations of a familiar verse:

"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me." Psalms 16:8 (NLT)

&

"I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved." Psalms 16:8 (AMP)

I've been thinking lately about all the hard decisions and tough discernment often required of us in this life. We sometimes have to make decisions that are literally life and death, in making health care decisions for example, or deciding about the best course of action with a child in a heartbreaking state of decline. And there are hundreds and thousands of other decision that, although not life and death decisions, impact greatly our lives and the lives of those we love: divorce, remarriage, adoption, career decisions, moving, ending a relationship, beginning a new one... the list goes on and on. We have a lot we get to navigate in our lives.

Where the verse above comes into play is two fold: First and foremost, we have much reason for gratitude! Those of us who walk in the yielded life of a Christian, placing the Lord continually before us, are able to know we can walk a steady (although imperfect) path through life. He is our right hand. I don't know about you, but this gives me quite a cause for excitement. I have so easily and so often been overwhelmed and distraught over decisions I needed to make. Yet, I can rest with ease knowing that He, at my right hand, will keep me steady, as long as I continue to let Him lead the way.

The second implication of this verse, which is actually more on my heart today, is for those who don't know and/or aren't living with this truth as part of their approach to life. I think about my unbelieving friends. I think about friends who are struggling with incredibly weighty and important life decisions:

What should I do about my failing marriage? Should I leave my job? How should I confront my daughter about her drug use? Which path should I pursue in my cancer treatments?

These questions weigh just as heavily, if not more so, on non-believers as they do on those of us that live as a part of His kingdom. But they are unaware of the resource they could have at their disposal: a navigating Guide who not only always seems to know the best way to get everywhere, but actually designed the roads.

As I let this sink in, I feel such a heavy compassion in my heart for how hard it must be to live that way. I remember trying to make decisions and just proceed in life when I was living away from the Lord; and it was hard. Excruciating. And I had no assurance of really anything. I think about how much I can wrestle today with decisions and judgments about my own life, and I have a Perfect Leader at my right hand!

My heart is moved when I think of the loss at which others must find themselves, and my heart is challenged at the same time. As a follower of Jesus, I don't believe my role in this dichotomy is to feel pity for my non-believing friends and gratitude for my own situation. Well, I should clarify; that can be part of my role. But, I believe we forgo plentiful opportunities if we let it end there.

Each decision our friends make is an opportunity for us to let God's light shine into their lives, and His light most certainly includes His lamppost of guidance! Furthermore, when we have challenging decisions, it's an incredible opportunity to live as a witness for power of Jesus if we will share, and share frankly and openly, with those in our lives who can be persuaded and moved by the example of someone who finds real peace because he or she relies on the Lord for guidance.

I know there are many wonderful stories out there about people who become believers after simply being told the truth about Jesus, but there are many others who will be persuaded by watching someone live out the life of a Christian and acknowledging that it is not only different, but also better than life out in the lost world.

As a believer, I acknowledge my responsibility to bring glory to His name, and what better way could I do just that than to live - outloud and in front of the non-believers in my life - just what it means to let Him be my right hand, and then, to sing His praises for what a difference He makes!

Flipped Over

For me, there are certain beliefs to which I hold, and they are simple truth. There isn't confusion about them, and I do not worry about or wonder whether or not they'll ever be challenged or changed. I know they are. Jesus is my Savior. His death and resurrection mean I (and you and everyone) have the opportunity for abundant and eternal life. Some things I believe are truth. Sometimes, I can understand them and learn to apply them in new ways; I hope those fundamental truths never stop adjusting, impacting and moving my reality and the way I show up in the world. In my opinion, even when it comes to basic, fundamental truth, there is always more to learn, more insight to be gained and more world to be changed.

Okay, so, category one down... Then there is category two... sticky, strange and ever-changing category two...

I suppose the best and most accurate name for these things is "assumptions." There are certain things that I guess I mostly just take for granted. Many of them are things that I've unconsciously chosen to believe over time, mostly acquired just through acclimation. Some of them are adopted from our secular culture. Many of them, in my life, have been adopted from the culture within the church. I learned at a certain point in my journey that I knew a LOT about what different churches taught, and knew almost nothing about what the Bible said. That was a startling revelation, and as I've worked (and continue to work) to change that, there have been a lot of beliefs that have been changed in me.

Some of these beliefs are sort of just passively hanging out in my head; but some of them really have and really do fuel actions and behaviors on my part. I think the latter of these is more dangerous in the immediacy of life, but the former has potent potential for danger too.

So, my goal is to make sure that I'm always clear on which beliefs are which. The beliefs that fall into category one are, really, very few and far between. But I live like a lot of the column two beliefs are part of category one. Now, my experience is that I can't force things into my own consciousness; that, at the end of it all, is the Holy Spirit's job. But, I can stay willing to have them brought into my awareness, and not just in a passive way. Spending time in prayer, and spending time in the word are primary ways in which I demonstrate my willingness for God to speak to me. And He helps me separate the truth from the rest. I also have to intentionally stay open to having some of my favorite assumptions flipped on their head.

If I cling to any of those without willingness to have my mind and my heart changed, I have refused to yield. And, for me, in the deep dark trenches of it, yielding is the essence of being a follower of Jesus. So, I have to stay in a somewhat active state of seeking...seeking to have my whole world turned upside down, or at least a little tiny part of it. This, I think, pleases Him. We pray all the time for Him to change us and grow us and teach us... My guess is that I'm not the only one who prays for teaching and then gets frustrated when God tries to get me to learn something new.

So, in closing, I will invite you to do what I plan to do for awhile today: spend time with God just asking for Him to open your eyes, and be willing to let go of any assumption He wants to remove from your path. He knows what He's doing; trust Him.

Resting, Part 2

As I delved into yesterday's topic, I found an abundance of instances of the word "rest" in scripture, and there were so many interesting definitions, I decided to keep going and post a "part 2."

Matthew 11:29 is part of a very familiar passage:

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (NIV)

The word here translated as "rest" truly embodies some beautiful concepts; even as I type, it softens and humbles my heart to know that Jesus wants to provide this kind of rest for us.

From Hastings' Bible Dictionary, the rest indicated here is "not the rest of inactivity but of harmonious working of all the faculties and affections, of will, heart, imagination, conscience, because each has found in God the ideal sphere for its satisfaction and development." (emphasis mine)

Jesus desires for you & for me to find complete satisfaction & development in God - in our will, our heart, our imagination, our conscience and more. This is rest.

I think the whole picture combines yesterday's message & today's. And I think they happened to come in the appropriate order. I sometimes read things like this post today and wonder, "Okay, great, find satisfaction in God...but how do I do that?" For me, feeling satisfied is great thing...but what if I don't? So, I refer back to yesterday: cease activity, get quiet and wait. Then move forward, knowing that He brings rest, real rest.

Let His reality become yours by doing what He instructs and trusting in both His ability and His character. It's a simple formula, although I know it's hard for me to put into practice. Thankfully, that's why I get more than just once chance. I'll take progress when I can't find perfection. Today will be a day of greater restfulness for me; and tomorrow, I trust, will be even more so. I hope you'll be able to mindfully obey and say the same!

Resting, Part 1

So, I've had the word "rest" on my mind a lot lately. It's something that I believe the Spirit's spoken into my heart...and I've been praying about & meditating on it a lot this week.


There are some obvious definitions for this word... I can start by just thinking about how I use that word on a day to day basis. When I am at home, and someone calls and asks, "What are you up to?" What is it that I was doing right beforehand when my answer is, "I was just resting."?


Well, for me, that usually means quiet; it usually means peacefulness. There are also some key things that I think it doesn't mean. It doesn't mean worry; it doesn't mean stress. When I'm resting, there isn't tension, and there isn't planning.


I think I can easily take these ideas and apply them to scripture such as this:


"Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him...." Psalm 37:7a (AMP)


Interestingly, other translations of the Bible translate "rest" to waiting patiently and in stillness.


When looking at the original language for this specific verse, the implication definitely implies quiet, or even silence, and stillness. It implies a ceasing on the part of the rester, and waiting.


So, let me look at how this might be able to be applied to my life. If the Lord is telling me to rest, what does that look like?


I have felt like I'm being instructed to "rest" in regards to specific situations and concerns I have in my heart. So, how do I do that? Well, for starters, it seems that I need to shuttup a little bit. :) It's time for me to stop telling God what I want and how I think He should run His universe. I need to cease my constant "discussions" with Him, and simply wait on His plan.


Gosh, doesn't that sound familiar? (See Psalm 27:13-14 for a refresher)

Okay, Lord. Teach me to rest. I will obey Your commands; may my heart never waiver from that commitment. Teach me to rest in You.

Patterns & Patterned After...

I've had a couple experiences lately that have left me thinking about the power of patterns in our lives.

Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you?

"Well, this is how it always goes..."

"This sort of just always happens to me..."

"This is kind of the way my life is..."

"That's just a part of my life..."

"Oh, my family is just like that..."

"Yeah, we have a family history of this..."

Maybe?

Look, what I have to say about this is plain and simple: patterns are real; yes. They exist; true. There are family histories and generational bonds that pass from one to another; there are stories in our lives that we do sometimes seem to keep repeating. And I believe that there is often purpose and value in the repetition (I know I've needed a few "tries" to learn some lessons myself!). However, what is essential to understand about ANY pattern is that all can be overcome by the One after whom we are patterned.

We are made in His image; He is not only the Healer, the Redeemer, the Restorer and the Deliverer, He is also the Creator. He made you; He designed every bit of who you are, and He can take you apart and put you back together in the blink of an eye if it furthers His purpose.

What I've found is that we, as a fallen people, are so easily swayed into believing that which we can see with our own two hands. And, if you're like me, you may have a lot of experience with patterns. Our own personal histories are one of the truest things in our experience, but please, let me encourage you: God is truer and far more powerful.

Generations of alcohol abuse? Decades of damaging relationships? A family tree dripping with resentment, or even something culturally labeled as less potent? Maybe sarcasm? Maybe passive aggressiveness? Maybe a simple lack of intimacy? What are the things that you unconsciously accept as "just the way it is," simply because they make up the bulk of the way it's "always" been?

Thankfully, God's concept of "always" and possibilities in Him are bigger and more than we can conceive. It's okay (and sometimes good!) to recognize the patterns in your life; it can be helpful to be aware of the tendencies or predispositions that may be a part of your flesh's make up. However, if you believe more in their fortitude and permanence than you believe in the power of an almighty and unendingly adoring Father, you cut Him off at the knees. His belief is what He requires of you most.

I truly believe (and am living proof) that overcoming many of our struggles hinges on truly believing that He is bigger and more powerful against those patterns against which we fight. My own path to true freedom in Christ has been paved by incremental destruction of the lies that Satan whispers into my ear about the inevitability of my hardships and failures. They are lies, and remembering that makes all the differences. Remembering that should inspire us to action; it should inspire us to fight.

And more so, please remember this:

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

Believing Him is the pathway to our greater good; there is little of which I could be more convinced. But above that, He deserves our belief and our faith simply because of who He is. Pleasing Him is part of why we're here, if not all of why we're here. So please, lay the foundation of belief. And if that in and of itself is your struggle (a struggle to which any regular reader knows I can relate!), then remember the example of the father in Mark 9. This is one of my favorite stories in the Bible:

As a desperate father comes to seek help for his possessed son, he explains to Jesus, "'It has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!'

And Jesus said to him, "'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes."

Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief." Mark 9:22-24(NASB)

Truly, friends, this is one of my most common and most fervent prayers: "I believe, I believe; please help me with my unbelief!" Believe more in Him than in your history, and if that is hard, let Him help you. All you need to do is ask; He is faithful and will help you. That is a promise you can stand on; it's His.

Simple Message

I got a very clear answer today when I asked the Lord what it was He wanted me to say to those of you reading this blog...He said quite clearly, "I love you."

He laid it on my heart quite clearly that not only does He want you to know that He adores the heck out of you, but that He was quite sure that you needed to hear it again.

I am not sure which you this "you" is. But I know you're out there. And so does He. And He's looking out for you, and looking down on you and swelling with adoration for you. Yes, you.

You may struggle, and you may fail in your imperfections sometimes; we all do. And He knows your heart, and He knows you inside and out. He knows every swirl of your fingerprint, every passing through that's crossed you're mind; He knows the numbers of your very breaths. And He loves you. Loves you with passion, with fervor, with vigor and, most importantly, with action. His adoration sent His only Son to be sacrificed for you. Please, take that in: for you.

He loves you, He treasures you. He delights in you...and He just wanted to make sure you knew.

In His Sight

I'm going to keep this one short & simple today. It's a reminder I, personally, have found myself needing recently. It's a simple one, but important.

The first chapter of Ephesians serves as a touchstone for me, when I need a reminder of how God sees me and who I am in His sight:

"Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love. For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [ because it pleased Him and was His kind intent]..." Ephesians 1:4-5 (AMP)

There are millions, even billions of people in this world, and probably every single one of them would be able to come up with some way or manner of standing in judgement of me. I've got a lot of refining left ahead of me in life, and it's sometimes easy for me to start feeling like who I am and the way I am is not okay.

I really try earnestly on a daily basis to live in a way pleasing to Him, but sometimes I accidentally confuse His pleasure and approval with the approval of those here on earth - especially those who are His believers also.

What I need to remember is two fold: 1) God created us as unique individuals, my personality is not only a gift, but also a creative expression of who He is, and 2) His approval is the only approval that matters. His opinion is the only opinion that counts.

When I keep that in mind, accepting myself just the way I am - as a work in progress - is much easier.

A Different Kind of Freedom

Today's posting is a mental continuation of yesterday's thoughts.

I try so hard sometimes. And my intent, and my aim (which I believe God knows and understands) are to do His will, to honor Him and to live in His ways. I just make that harder and more complicated than it needs to be sometimes. When it comes down to it, I can start with the foundational truths and trust God to lead me from there. When I try to draw my own map, things can get messy. So, where to begin?

Well, some of the people of Jesus' time asked Him the same question; His answer provides me with much solid counsel:

"Then they asked him, 'What must we do to do the works God requires?' Jesus answered, 'The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.'" John 6:28-29 (NIV)

When it comes to the point, my first job is to believe in Jesus. When I do that, and heed His teachings, everything else really does fall right into place. That isn't the point of Independence Day, but it's the foundation to the only true freedom. And so I will start there and walk that path; I am certain it is worth it!

Getting Un-busy

I have a tendency, about which I believe I've written before: I tend to try to make things harder than they need to be.

I'm not sure when or where I acquired this habit, but I definitely have a propensity for activity and doing. You've heard that phrase, "You're a human being, not a human doing." Yeah, well, I need to be reminded of that on a regular basis.

So, it comes as no surprise to me that this particular area has come up again in my latest spiritual lesson. I've been wrangling with some faith concepts lately, and have had a hard time reconciling them inside my head. My understanding, as of today, is that while God is all powerful, He has given us free will, and so some things that He desires may never come to pass, because He has, in essence, delegated (for lack of a better word) some of His authority to us here on earth. Now, please be forgiving with me; I'm no theologist, and as I've said, I'm just learning to wrap my brain around this stuff in a better way, so my explanation is likely lacking.

In any case, at the same time, I've found myself confused by this concept and some of its more finite applications in my life. For example, this makes perfect sense to me in the realm of salvation. I know that God would like for all of us to be saved; and I know that He has the ability to simply make it so. However, an action (of belief) is required on my part in order for me to receive the thing He desires to give me. That's how He set it up. Okay, makes sense...mostly, I'm thinking, because around salvation specifically, this is a concept that's been studied in depth in my life and often discussed, preached about, etc.

But what about something more individual? Say, God promises to give me a certain blessing... and I feel certain of His promise. Am I supposed to do anything in order to bring it about? Sometimes the preparation is obvious, but what about when I get to the end of the preparation?

Well, I had a very wise friend give me some insight on this topic today. She used a word that helped everything "click" for me: cooperation. She said that, in essence, she thinks our part is to simply cooperate with what God is doing. If He guides me to pray for this thing to come into being, I pray for it. If He guides me to keep praying, I keep praying. If He asks me to job to France and back, Okay... you get my point.

The most important thing is that I remember that it's HIM who is doing the thing; He made the promise, and I trust Him to deliver. And that (contrary to my aforementioned tendencies) I do NOT need to come up with my own "to do" list of things that I have to do in order for said thing to come about. Sometimes, the only thing on my list is simply to believe. To believe, to take heart, be strong and wait on the Lord. Then I get to practice that thing that is sometimes so foreign to me: resting. In Him. What a lesson; I'm so grateful for my Teacher!

Can You Hear Me Now?

So, I have had a topic I've been praying a lot about lately. I got what seemed like some possible direction from above on it, but I wasn't totally sure. It's one of those situations in which there isn't really a "bad" option. Both paths are Biblically sound; neither contradicts the character or promises of God. It's just one of those things.

In addition, the feedback I've gotten so far in prayer, meditation & searching has been neither strong nor absent...just sort of "maybe." So, I decided to take an approach I was a little nervous about, really, don't know how to approach it in any way that would be better... .

So, I told God, "Okay, here's what I think You are saying, and my intention and desire is to follow the path of Your guidance. And I trust in Your ability to guide me, to light my steps. So, if I'm taking the wrong path, divert me please!" And on I walk.

I think that's the point. I heard a series of sermons lately focused on the same topic, and I thought it was very sage. If I stop walking, I miss the point entirely. Yes, there's time required for preparation; but the planning, the pace and the syllabus for "prep time" are His to design. My job is to do the best I can do from a place of obedience and willingness.

I keep walking.

I think that when I freeze, I negate the very potential for effectiveness. I may wander off the path a bit, but if I refuse to step forward for lack of absolute certainty, I don't move any farther down the path. So, in closing, two verses and two thoughts:

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)

Can you believe Him for this promise? In all things? In all ways? Whether you feel sure of the path or not?

And...

"for we walk by faith, not by sight..." 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NASB)

How much faith does it really take to walk down only those paths of which you are certain?