So, I have this dog... well, I have two dogs actually. One, named Chloe, I bought from a reputable breeder and have had since she left their loving home. My other dog is a wild Mini Australian Shepherd named Coda. Coda was taken away from his mother way too early, and then lived a very chaotic and borderline abusive situation for the first couple months of his life. Then, he came to live with me.
From the beginning, Coda has been a challenge. He has 10x the energy (at least!) of my other dog, and lots and lots of neurotic tendencies. His separation anxiety and other neuroses are readily evident, and often remind me of his rough start in life. Even though it's been more than three years since he came to live with me, and even though I raised him from a puppy, those first few months of life still show their marks on him with some frequency.
I'd be lying if I pretended that he didn't try my patience. He does. Much more frequently than my other dog. However, I would also be doing him a disservice if I didn't also let you know that, really, he is a very, very good dog. He has a very strong desire to please me, and he is as smart as can be. His intentions are good. I am pretty sure that, if I could get inside his head, it'd sound a lot like this: "Please mommy. Love mommy. Be by mommy. Don't make mommy mad. Get snacks. Please mommy. Love mommy. Be by mommy. Don't make mommy mad. Get snacks" and again and again and again.... Most the time, he does do pretty darn well. But, sometimes, his old wounds show up in ways that annoy me to death! He can be extra clingy, and sometimes I just need him to *not* be touching me.
That said, sometimes I tell him to "go lay down" (which basically translates to "leave me alone for a little bit") and he just can't seem to restrain himself. Within a moment, he is back by my sad, hoping for some reassurance. And do you know what happens then?
Although he sometimes isn't doing what I've asked, it is because of circumstances beyond his control. It's because of his start in life, and I believe that in whatever way a dog can, he is sincerely trying to fight off his impulses to follow my direction. Sometimes, however, he just can't seem to help himself.
Well, this is where I get to my point (I know you were wondering what could have possessed me to go on and on about my dog!). I think I see a parallel between Coda and myself. I so badly want to do God's will. I so long to follow His direction, and act in exactly the way He'd have me act. But, sometimes, I don't do that perfectly. Sometimes, I don't even do it well. And then what?
I admit that sometimes I am tempted to think that God is angrily watching me in frustration. As if He might be thinking, "Look, Marina! Stop messing up! Get it right already, will ya?!?" But, c'mon... Think of the principle in Luke 11:13. That verse is Jesus saying, "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:13 (NIV).
So, yeah, when Coda does something that isn't quite right, I don't sit stewing in anger and frustration. I appreciate that he really is trying, and I appreciate his desire to obey. And I love him. Sometimes I discipline him, yes, but I also love him. And if I can do this for my dog, how much more grace and kindness and compassion and mercy must the God of all the Heavens have on me, His precious child!!!
I don't know if you will find this kind of metaphor or parallel helpful... but if you do, I bet there are a million places in your own life - with your friends, or your spouse or you kids, or even your pets where you demonstrate gracious and patient love. Remember that He gives us this and so much more every time we need it. Praise God!
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