Terms of Service

I wrote a big, long and sort of convoluted thing about the "new covenant" tonight. I put some very good reference info in there, and even quoted Merriam-Webster (I don't know about you, but I learned in 7th grade that quoting the dictionary is the mark of a master-work). But, when I finally got around to it, what I really felt the Spirit leading me to say was much simpler. So, I erased it all.

Here's what it boils down to. I read every single word of my cell phone contract. I carefully considered the terms of service, the service agreements and my responsibilities. Then, I signed it. I do the same whenever I sign a contract or other agreement. It matters to me what it is that I've agreed to!

If you want a tip about where I'm going with this, I'll add one more comment. Contract and covenant are fairly synonymous. They basically mean the same thing. Take that idea and maybe it will help you think of the "new covenant" with a little less of what, for me, sometimes is the mysterious coating of religious-jargon. End of the day comes, and the "blood of the new covenant" is just a vital piece in the most amazing contract I ever signed.

Now, don't get me wrong - I am so so so grateful that God doesn't require us to read and provide a notarized copy of His terms before He'll accept us wholly into His family. No, bottom line, God is way, way more awesome than that in His huge love for us. But, whether we ever have to read a word of it or not, wouldn't you like to know what it says? For one, there's my end of the deal. What is it that I do and do not have to do in order to keep up my part of the bargain? In essence, what am I promising here?

Two, what is being promised to me? What am I entitled to claim full ownership of, thanks to this agreement?

Friends, we have quite the luxury in this one: the other "party" in our contractual agreement is the most loving, benevolent, faithful and good Being in all Eternity. He won't renege on His part. He won't run out of money or energy or time. And, if you actually spend some time with the contract, we really got a pretty sweet deal out of the whole thing.

My overall point is this: as a consumer in the natural world, I consider knowledge of my contracts and agreements to be a source of power. I won't be duped into thinking I have to do more than I do. Nor will I go on endlessly without knowingly requesting what is promised to me. I think it might be smart - if not reverent - to come to know the details of my covenant with the Lord as well as I know the terms of my mortgage papers.

And that's where the Bible and the Holy Spirit come in. I make either an implicit or explicit re-commitment to my part of the covenant with Jesus each day. I think I understood tonight in a new way why it's important for me to know what it is I'm agreeing to. There's power in knowing what it is He has promised to me. Power to keep going, power to keep hoping and power to let others know about the amazing "special offer" available to all.

This post got a little strange for me; it took me an hour and a half to write something rather short. I'll leave it here and hope I did Him justice.

Supernatural Life

God is good, right? I mean, seriously, how often to do we say that in our lives as followers? Sometimes a lot; other times, maybe not as much. It may sound strange, but what I think I forget sometimes is that it's true.

Romans 8:28 tells us that, "in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (NIV).

I can't be the only one who needs to soak that in a little....

In ALL things? Really, all things? Yes, really.

One of my most precious friends has recently sent her husband off to serve in military service in Afghanistan. And just last night, she was telling me about all the gifts and graces that have come in the midst of all the concurrent sadness, loss and trepidation in her journey.

I was so struck by the testimony in what she was saying. Her husband had just left to go to a war zone, in an entirely different world with a future that, day to day, is all but unknown. And she was praising the goodness of our God. Not only does she have the wonderful testimony of the insights, peace and gifts He is bringing into her life right now, but she has the astounding ability to say that - in the midst of tremendously challenging personal situations - she is praising God? I mean, c'mon! Who does that?!?

I look around my life; I take stock of the world around me. This is not the way of the natural.

This is the way of a God who sent His only Son to this earth. This is the God who, in His ultimate justice, required that there to be sacrifice to compensate for our sinful ways. But instead of demanding from us what we could never give, sent the only precious Son capable of taking away our debts. And He came. And He gave. And because of it, we live. Because of it, we praise. Because of it, we see grace in the midst of personal storm.

This is the life that dreams are made of. I don't think any adult can reasonably hope for a lack of trial in this fallen world; but we can all hope with Biblical expectation for His hand working for GOOD in the midst of ALL our circumstances. What a wonderful privilege to be loved by a God such as this. May no unbelief stand in the way of each heart claiming His goodness for our lives. This is the Christian life. This is the life of devotion to the ways of a Savior that came, and sacrificed, so that we could live. Amen!

God's Plans

I was reminded today of a very important point that I, myself, have made many times in speaking to others. For reasons that have little to do with my own reasoning, I felt prompted to let it be the topic for today's writing.

Here it is; it's plain and simple, and I'm far from the first to make it, but it is certainly worth repeating:

When I get out of the way, and truly surrender to God's plans for me, it is always far better than what I would have planned for myself.

Now, that's all well and good, but I want to really remember what it is that I'm saying here. First of all, God's "plans" for me is too tepid of a word to really capture the essence of this truth. God's plans for me are His dreams for me, His hopes, His wants and His visions for me. Just like an earthly parent that harbors, deep in his heart, dreams of success, happiness, fulfillment and joy for his child, our Heavenly Father wants that and so much more.

Yes, He knows the plans He has for us, but remember, like the "plans" a truly doting mother might dream up for her child, His plans are truly wonderful - plans to prosper us, and to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

So, when we allow our hearts to yield to His plans, remember that we're not just choosing obedience; we're choosing to create space for His beautiful, beautiful dreams for us. Can you imagine what amazing things the Lord of All Creation might have tucked away inside His personal hopes for your life and heart? It's a breathtaking thought for me.

And I would be irresponsible to not add that I have seen this unfold many times in my own life. And trust me, friends, I have been ridiculously stubborn in holding onto my own plans.

I have been (and many times still am) like an insolent child, suspiciously clinging to my dirty rag of a blanket, entirely fearful and uncertain of whatever warm blanket this God is offering to me. I hang on to a dirty rag, clinging tightly, fingers white with the desperation... sometimes it's taken years for Him to gently coax me into loosening that grip. "Here," He says, "I have something for you...." But, of course, I cannot take hold of what He holds without letting go of the things to which I presently cling.

It is by the grace and mercy of a loving God that I am able to say that, in many areas of my life - some big and some small - I have finally been willing to let go, open my palm and receive whatever He has held for me. And it is not an exaggeration to say that these exchanges - sometimes stretched over the course of years - have put into my hands the things in my life that I count as my purest joys.

I have been blessed to, at times, find myself clinging tightly to a new cloth - a beautiful, beautiful piece of art, full of color and the vibrancy of life and hope. It's this overwhelming beauty that He wishes to put into my life. I could so easily be embarrassed when I look back and realize the desperation with which I held onto those nasty, smelly rags.

It is in our fear and in our ignorance and, dare I say it?, our unbelief that we cling so tightly to that which we already have, that which is familiar. The unclenching of my fists, that letting go, is the start of receiving what He has held is precious trust for my life. It is always far better than what I thought I wanted, and best yet, it is His, of Him and from Him. Trust me friends, and let us push on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward (Phil 3:14). It is more than worth it.

Sacrifice, Lenten Fasting and Stuff Like That

In a time that may or may coincidentally align with Lent, my church is today entering 40 days of 24/7 prayer. Along with this prayer vigil, we've all be challenged to consider fasting as a complimentary spiritual discipline.

I chatted briefly with a friend last night about the fast, and have been praying about it for much of the week. I also thought it was probably a good idea to check in with the Bible and see what I could learn; admittedly, this is an area about which I know little.

Here's an interesting verse that caught my eye:

"‘We have fasted before you!’ they say.
‘Why aren’t you impressed?
We have been very hard on ourselves,
and you don’t even notice it!’
“I will tell you why!” I respond.
“It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves.
Even while you fast,
you keep oppressing your workers"
Isaiah 58:13 (MSG)

Some of the subtext here is probably fairly obvious (does that mean it isn't subtext?).... But it got me thinking. The main thing I feel that God has clearly asked me to fast is something that, to me, doesn't really seem like that big of a deal. In addition, when I shared about it with my friend, I felt like the response I got indicated that I might want to try to give up something bigger or harder. The intent in my friend's statement, though, isn't the important point (I may be way off about his point anyway...). What it did do was get me thinking about it in a new way.

Here's what I've decided. I'm going to fast what it is He's suggesting for me. I sought His guidance earnestly, and feel like I got a clear response from Him. I think that, for me, and within my own personal context, it would be hubris to try to raise the bar on the Lord. I admit; the "sacrifice" I feel like He's requesting doesn't seem hard... but, I haven't done it yet. I also did try to come up with some things that felt "harder" and "bigger" and have been suggesting them in prayer all week. I kinda feel like what I'm receiving back at this point is just a challenge to trust Him. I know of myself that I am also definitively prone to trying to make things too hard on myself.

God knows the plans He has for me - even within this 40 day window. He knows of things coming on the horizons inside and outside of me that I cannot possibly predict. He knows what the big picture looks like - in regards to my own life, and in regards to His larger vision of the Kingdom. So, I'm going to trust Him. And, what's more, no matter how it seems it might be today, I'm going to expect that He's going to rock my world a bit. After all, that does seem to be His specialty.

For me, I need continual reinforcement of a lesson I'm just starting to learn: God's amazing power at work in my life is NOT dependent upon my hard work. Now, please understand, I'm not saying I don't play some role. My willingness and openness are absolutely essential; my obedience is critical and my yielding a true keystone in His will unfolding in and through my life. However, it doesn't have to be "hard." Yeah, sometimes it's hard, but what I am trying to say is that "it" being easy doesn't mean that it's not quality. In fact, I don't think God's intention for us is to go around wearing ourselves out for Jesus. In fact, I'm learning that the better I get at depending upon HIS strength, the more energy I have and the more effective I can be. I'm not saying I don't have responsibilities in my life being filled by His Spirit; I do. I'm just saying that when I live like His success is dependent upon my strength, we're all in trouble.

So, I'm going to put one foot in front of the other, and do what He's asked of me. If He asks for something new and something "big" tomorrow, then I'll address it tomorrow. For today, I'm going to rest easy in His sovereignty, and I promise that I won't be surprised if 1/2 way through my 40 day fast, I'm awash with new insight about why His request wasn't so "easy" after all.

Changing Courses

I've been thinking about spiritual heritage today, and that got me thinking about the patterns, roles and belief systems we "inherit" from our families. In so many ways, it's easy to think that our destinies are half planned by our earthly families before we're even born!

I am so grateful, however, that this is not Biblical truth.

There are many, many reference throughout the Word urging believers to repent. As many know, the word often translated to "repent" literally means to stop and change course. It's that simple.

My very wise boyfriend made a comment over the holidays that has come back to my mind time and time again. We were discussing family structures, spiritual heritage and the legacies alive and well in many families (including mine). Specifically, we were discussing the legacies that might be less than ideal - generational histories of children born out of wedlock, divorce, abuse, and etc. I am sure we can all think of some parts of our family's collective story we'd like to change if we could.

And that was exactly the point of his comment. I won't be able to provide his exact words, but basically, he said that all it takes is one person deciding that they're ready for it to be different... whatever "it" may be. He said that all it really takes is one person changing course with resolution and intention, and that the course of a family line can be changed forever. It's such a simple concept, and yet, he's absolutely right.

I think about this in regards to my own family line. There are many lovely and wonderful parts of our collective history, and others in which I would like to be a pioneering advocate for change. My boyfriend also pointed out another important point. Sometimes, changing direction is enough, but sometimes it takes not only the shift in momentum, but also telling others about your change in direction - calling it out, explaining it and letting others in on the plan. Whether or not others chose to walk in step, sometimes it's vital to let them in on your intentions; wouldn't it be a shame for generational change to be less effective because of an assumption that others will understand our actions as we do? Or worse, out of shyness or embarrassment? An unwillingness to be vulnerable? An unwillingness to risk?

This calls to mind one of my favorite verses: "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV).

In light of this context, I invite you to join with me in thinking about the ways in which I desire to be the point in my family's history where the line turns and takes a new direction. Where can I make a difference in not only my own immediate circle, but potentially the lives of generations to come? What an honor...

Lord, let our hearts be bold and our paths marked by Your guiding light.

For His Glory

I heard a wonderful message this weekend about seeking the Lord. The wise teacher I heard speaking was using Moses as an example of one who sought God. In his message, he talked about Moses' desire to see the lives of the rebellious Israelites used for the glory of God.

He talked about Moses' pleas in Exodus for the people of Israel, and pointed out that the motivation behind his arguments with God were about claiming the right for God to be glorified by these rebellious people. Amazing.

I've been praying on and off all day today about what to write about here tonight. I think it's meant to be motivation.

Paul said, "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out" Romans 7:18 (NIV). I know that, at least in speaking for myself, this is very true. There really are certain things that, without the powerful help of God, I would be utterly powerless to stop myself from doing. Thankfully, the more I learn to walk in step with the Spirit, the fewer and farther between those things are. So, that brings me to my next category of things....

There are also a subset of behaviors that I could stop myself from doing, but sometimes, I don't. I am not proud to admit that, sometimes, I find myself doing what it is that I think I can get away with. Now, thankfully, I don't mean any and all things I can get away with! :) But, I mean the things that "technically" aren't a real problem, or really don't hurt anyone... or, etc etc.

Here's an example:

Recently, I've been late to work - a lot. Now, in my mind's rationalization, it's not a big deal. I actually work at a place where a lot of people are late, and not the meager 5 minutes late that I've been... but 20-30 minutes late, and it's apparently "fine." So, I have been letting myself get more and more lax about my time in the morning... sleeping later, stopping for coffee on my way to work, etc. However, I started to feel a growing conviction about this behavior. Not because it's evil, and not because it's horrifyingly damaging overall. In fact, I bet that if I asked my boss directly if it was a problem for me to be 5 minutes late each and every day, the answer might be "Not at all." I work hard; I work through lunch many days.... Reasons just like those are the ones I was using to justify my actions. In other words, I can get away with it.

However, here's where motivation comes in. I feel like what I'm hearing in my spirit about this very topic is that the time itself isn't an issue. It's not about that. It's about my motives. "Check your motives" is a phrase I hear myself say a lot; I need to continue to remember to listen to my own advice.

Doing (or not doing) something simply because I can is not good. Moses fought and pleaded with God for the souls and destinies of a painfully rebellious Israel; it wasn't because he had to. Surely, he could have "gotten away with" just agreeing with the Lord's anger and allowing Israel to live into the fate they'd brought upon themselves. But he didn't. He went a step farther; he put in energy and effort and thought and passion. Not because he had to, but because he could, and (most importantly) because he was inspired to by his incredible reverence for the Lord our God.

I wish I could say I felt an overpowering emotional pull to get myself to work on time. I really don't. In fact, most mornings, at the critical decision making point, I'm still half asleep and thoroughly enjoying the coziness of a warm bed. At those moments, "five more minutes" seem all too appealing. So, no surprise, I'm not Moses yet. But I can learn from him. And if I've learned anything, it's that I can make a decision to act in a way pleasing to God regardless of how I feel. What's more amazing about this "self" He designed for us is that, when I do that, I find that the emotional feeling or desire to do these things, just for His glory, grows in me.

I will walk in the ways of the Lord; and some days, that means being on time to work. Only He knows if those 5 minutes will ever mean anything recognizable to anyone else. I know, however, that they mean something to Him.

I love You, Lord. May my ways be pleasing in YOUR sight...

Clothed with Patience

I found myself in a frustrating situation today. A friend of mine had acted in a way that left me feeling disrespected, frustrated and, honestly, hurt (although the hurt, initially, showed itself as anger). So, as I set out to spend some time with the Lord, I was thinking about the topic of forgiveness. I did some standard word-searching and tried to find something He was using to speak to me. Here's what I found:

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV).

I like to let the word-pictures in the Bible soak in sometimes. I sat back and imagined what it meant to be clothed in compassion, clothed in patience and gentleness. I imagined a heavy, luxurious robe coming down on me from above, and falling over every part of me - covering and clothing me completely. It's appropriate my imagination envisioned this cloak coming from above; for, truly, this kind of covering gentleness is only mine by way of the Holy Spirit.

At first, I just read this verse, hoping it would relax me and ease my heart. I'd be standing face-to-face with my friend soon, and I wanted to display the forgiving love of Jesus to her. It didn't work. I read it; I thought about it, but I still felt upset. I was fighting against my mind's desire to enjoy a little self-indulgent tirade. I truly felt called in the moment, however, to take captive my thoughts and to be a tiny bit self-sacrificial. I read something this morning in that came to mind: we're not called to sacrifice our selves necessarily; we're called to sacrifice our selfishness.

So, I did two things that made all the difference. 1) I started thinking about it from a point of view intended to shed the selfishness inherent in my indignation. I intentionally moved a position in my head; I've had enough life experience to know that this kind of intentional action often opens the door of willingness and allows for shift in my heart as well. And 2) I prayed. Lord, help me to have a tender heart. Help me to shed the ego involved in my wounded pride. Help me to lovingly embrace my friend, accept her apology and demonstrate selflessness to her in my response. Heal the sin in my heart that makes that hard; help me be willing to love in a moment where I don't really want to. Help me love because You love me.

Ah... that's the ticket. Honestly, my #1 of there probably made little difference other than allowing some space to let the light of the Lord in. I just needed help. And, in order to get that help, I needed to be willing to ask for it. Ask & you shall receive, He tells us. But, as the Word also says, so often we have not, because we ask not.

Lord, help me ask unabashedly for Your able help and assistance at every turn. I need You! And I need You to help me remember that too. Thank You for Your selfless and loving example. Help me live out my life in a way that honors the love You so freely give to me. Amen.

Believing in Our Capabilities in Him

Two key verses related to what I'm pondering today:

"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you" Luke 10:19 (NIV).

&

"Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God" 1 John 5:5 (NIV).

Continuing on in the same line of some of the things I've been writing about lately, I think these two verses are incredibly powerful when I keep in mind that the language of the Bible isn't accidental. It says here that those to whom Jesus was speaking were given the authority to overcome all the power of the enemy. I invite you to stop with me and think about that for a minute... the authority to overcome ALL the power of the enemy. No excuses, no worries. ALL power. Dang. That's amazing.

And, personally, I think the key to unleashing the power in this authority is found in this second verse. Who is it that overcomes?!? He who believes.

We have - within our very believing hearts - free and complete access to a power that overcomes ALL that is against us. Lord, teach us how to believe this fully. Let us walk in victory and shine as shining beacons of Your great light!

As always, I invite your comments, friends... love you!

The Shield & the Sword

So, I've been thinking about the proverbial sword & shield lately. I feel like the Lord is trying to teach me something here, and I think I might be starting to "get" it. As of right now, here's what I'm understanding...

Let's make an assumption that I think we can agree to fairly universally - that the Word isn't accidentally thrown together, that the specific word choices aren't haphazard and that there's meaning on a multitude of layers in what is written there.

So, let's think about a couple things... first of all, the Bible is clear. "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes" Ephesians 6:11 (NIV). That's pretty clear. Not only is it clear instruction about what we're to do, but also the why. And, if the direct command of God isn't enough for ya, consider the impact in your own life.

I was thinking of this concept within the context of the provided metaphor: war. Now, to be fair, I'm no military expert - far from it. But, there are a few things that make sense to me sort of intuitively.

In training for battle, I need to be very clear on the tools I have protecting me: the shield of faith is one in this example (Ephesians 6:16). I think that I, personally, have put much effort into and focus on my own faith in recent years. God has been working on unbelief in my life, and teaching me how to hold up my shield; I want to extinguish every one of those flaming arrows, friends!

That said, if I were a military soldier going into any battle, I'd be quite foolish (and ill-equipped) if I'd given no thought to my opponent. Likewise, I'd better be very clear on what my weapons for proactive protection are... and not only what they are, but how they're best used. The sword in the Bible's instructive analogy is that of the Spirit, defined in the text as the Word.... The Bible itself is my weapon.

For today, I take two important points from this: 1) I am intended to fight. If all I was intended to do was sit by and pray for protection, or passively avoid trouble as best I could, I wouldn't need a sword. I'd be quite set with my shield of faith, breastplate of righteousness and helmet of salvation. But there's more to this passage, and that, I must believe, has purpose. This leads me to my second point:

2) As is affirmed in many places throughout the Word, the Word has power. It's alive and active. And if I allow it only to be salve to my wounds or encouragement for my heart, I'm missing part of its incredible power. Now, don't get me wrong; I need salve for my wounds, and Lord knows, I need encouragement for my heart - daily! But I am starting to believe that the Lord is showing me a new truth for my own personal life: Although I praise God daily for the ways in which I walk in victory today (strongholds, friends, that I once feared would own me forever), there is more there for me and for any believer. We are called to be more than overcomers, and there is an effective tool - THE effective tool sitting at my bedside, riding around within my purse, and available at every turn that I barely know how to hold. Like any sword, there is a better way to handle it, a skilled way to use it and wield it for maximum effect.

Lord, I pray that you will tutor my heart, mind and spirit in the ways of effectiveness when it comes to the word. Prepare me for battle, Lord, that I may fight in Jesus' name and live victoriously in my daily battles and those that serve the Kingdom purposes You have called out for me. Thank You, Father, for the amazing ways in which You mold and teach us! I praise Your name of righteousness and truth!!!

Decision & then a Journey

I heard a teaching by Rick Warren on the decision to follow Christ. I won't be able to provide his exact quote, but it was something like, "The Christian life is a decision followed by a process." I'd like to add to this a reminder to let these two pieces come one at a time.

Friends, I am SO prone to feeling like I need to be perfect before I can come to Jesus. And, yeah, my initial surrender and salvation are one time events that I don't need to revisit, but I do it in lots of other ways too. I sometimes feel like I need to "understand" something or see it with a certain level of clarity before I can take it to the Lord.

I'm not sure exactly how to explain this strange process, but I can say with some certainty that it's rooted in a certain lack of humility. As if God needs me to "get it" in a certain way in order for Him to use it. As if, for that fact, I can get it in the way God gets it. Shoot. I mean, truly, I have to remind myself that there is a God, and that I'm not it!

So, in that same line, I was pondering this little bit of wisdom from Pastor Warren today, and reminding myself that in the little daily ways, this is also the way it goes. I decide to do what God wants; I surrender my will to Him, and I yield control to Him. Then I let that process unfold, both receiving the help He gives, and taking the actions that are mine to take. Eventually, I end up in that place that I sometimes think is the starting point. It's not.

Just a reminder... He takes us as we are, and we should take to Him - in all things - just the way we are today. Where He takes us from there is for Him to show us through His leading; we don't have to figure it out in order to get there. We just follow.

Love and What it Looks Like

I'm going to keep this brief... it's late, and I think what I have to say is best kept simple anyway.

The Bible says that people we know we are His by the fruit we bear in and through our lives.

And, although I don't have a particular scripture reference that comes to mind, I think general consensus would agree that part of our purpose (if not our entire purpose) in this life is to bring glory and honor to His name.

So, might it not follow then that the love we share and the love we experience in our lives should point us to Him? And, perhaps, by some extension, prompt those who watch us and see our lives to look to Him too?

Here's what I know. I had an amazing day today. I, really, have an amazing life. It's not an exaggeration to say that, at some points, the state of my life humbles me so much that I find myself crying on my knees. I really, really have a life that, truly friends, I don't think I ever believed I could.

Today, I got on my knees and prayed repentance over my unbelief in the good things He has planned for me. I asked for forgiveness for the lack of certainty I've had over where He would direct me to go. Each and every thing He gives me (all of which I'm more and more able to receive as I draw closer to Him) is better - FAR better - than what I ever could have dreamed up for myself.

This isn't particularly cohesive. And, apparently, that's okay. But what I want to say tonight is that I know His imprint is in my life when the life I live makes me want to turn to Him in praise. And the more I turn to Him in praise, the more I see that imprint in my life. It's a strange thing, relationship... but, in some ways, my relationship with Him is very similar to the others in my life. Or, more likely, since the pattern tends to follow its designer, my other relationships bear a striking resemblance to the relationship He's teaching me to have with Him. The more I love Him (and love is an action), the more I love Him. And the I love Him, the more I love in general. And the more I love, the more love I receive. And the more love I receive, the more I have to give. To Him, and to all those He loves. It's a crazy thing... but I have feared running out of so many things; I used to live in a constant terror of not having enough. But what I'm learning is that, in Him - when I let HIM be the source (the only source), love flows in abundance. And if that isn't the essence of Him, I don't know would be.

Journeys

Hello friends... I want to start today's post by asking for your patience with me in this process. I have repeatedly felt clear that the Lord wants me to continue posting to this site... and yet, I am feeling almost completely unclear about what I am supposed to do beyond that! So, I'm experimenting with different formats, and trying to be prayerful and discerning in my process. Your prayers are invited and appreciated....

That said, I'm just going to share some thoughts today... reflections of my own, I suppose. The topic? The journey.

A scripture that really caught my attention in church this weekend was one that is very familiar to me, and probably to most in Western cultures... it's that one in 1 John about perfect love and it casting out all fear.

Without realizing it, I think I've always thought of this verse as if it were saying that, if the love in my life/heart/soul/spirit was perfect, then I would be without fear. As I've lived much of my life as a remarkably fearful and fear-driven person, I always struggled with this concept. Did it mean that God's love wasn't perfect? No, it wasn't that. In fact, the conclusion I think I usually came to was just that I must not have really embraced the perfect love offered to me by God... because, after all, if I had, I'd be free from all fear, right? Right?!?!

Well, as it turns out, I had a new thought about this verse today. Maybe it's not supposed to be such a passive process... maybe I don't sit around striving after perfect love and then, voila!, fear is gone. Maybe it's that I'm being reminded here that the perfect love that is always with me is the perfect weapon. So, when I find myself in the midst of fear, fighting against it, I can call upon that perfect love and believe that it can and will cast away all the fear. Maybe, instead of sitting by periodically checking my fear-levels as a measuring device for the amount of perfect love in my life, I am meant to take a more active approach. Maybe my action is to be believing in the power of His love, and then use that faith and this word to fight against one of the enemy's primary tools: fear.

What do you think? It's a battle of the mind; that's for sure. And I find myself fighting to let Him reclaim ground again and again... I find myself to be quite vulnerable to fear and its calling... although less so than I once was. (Praise God!) In any case, I find for myself today that I will be asking God to help fortify my belief in the power of that perfect love, and I will be calling upon that same power as I pray against the fear I feel. And then I will be believing (and praying for help with my unbelief.) Perfect love casts out fear. Period. Amen!

A Lifestyle of Praise

I had a kinda blah day today. I am overtired and in definite need of some retreat & restore time. I had over-committed my week, and under-prioritized sleep. And now it was catching up with me. Okay, so, we've all been there, right? And, gosh, if nothing else, this is how we learn!

So, anyway, about late afternoon today, I started to feel downright surly. I was in the car, and thought, "Lord, help me out. I don't like feeling this way. Please help me know what to do." And, oh how I thank Him for His faithfulness... like clockwork, there popped a new thought into my head. I was reminded, quite unexpectedly, of something a friend of mine had recently written. She'd shared about an experience of hers and that, in the midst of a painful time, the act of praise had powerfully pulled her into a new place. Ah, thank you, and thank You!

I began the process of praise-ifying my night. At first, it was sort of rote, and didn't have a lot of heart behind it. "Lord, you are the maker of the beautiful sunset - I praise Your name for You creative and amazing beautiful works." And the words sound nice, but re-read them with a monotone voice, and that's about where I started. But, thankfully, I learned the principle of acting myself into "right thinking" rather than trying to think myself into "right acting" long ago, so I kept on. It's been several hours now, and I stepped outside just a moment ago to let my dogs out. I looked up at the stars and was honestly struck with wonder at His beauty; "Lord, I praise Your name as the maker of this wonder." And I meant it. And I feel certain He knew it. He always does.

I decided as my night had progressed, and my heart had been changed that I was going to adopt a new idea, and begin to pursue a "lifestyle of praise." It's like an attitude of gratitude (which also has my wholehearted endorsement!), but with a new slant.

In honor of this, and with the blessing of the Spirit's leading, I am going to close with this verse. May it dwell in you richly...

"But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more" Psalms 71:14 (NIV).

I love You, Lord! I praise Your name for You are Glory!

Listening, Believing Him & Hope

As I was praying about a topic for today's writing, I felt like like the Spirit told me to write about hope. So, as I set about doing my reading in the Word, I watched carefully for passages and verses about hope. God's funny like that; sometimes I think I've figured something out (what this really usually means is that I've tried to make Him formulaic, which He is not). Most times, when I get this particular "Oh, I see how this works" feeling, it's proven to me that I haven't seen anything yet.

So, here are the verses for this entry:

"I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built" Luke 6:47-48 (NIV).

Here is what I hear in this passage tonight. First, this passage is talking about someone who not only hears what Jesus says, but who also puts this instruction into practice. This may seem a little "duh," but let's think about this for a minute.

If I run into a friend on the street, and the friend says, "The sky is falling! You'd better run for cover", what am I going to do? Well, I guess one of three things: 1) I run for cover 2) I ignore my nutty friend and go on with my day or 3) I am alarmed by my friend's warnings, but not so sure they're credible; so I go on uncertain - probably trying to hedge my bets in some ways (maybe put some of my valuables under a heavy table or something) and, knowing me, I might also try to do a little more digging to see if I can find a corroborating voice somewhere out there.

So, if you will agree that these are 3 likely responses to my friend's warning, then let's look at what each of these responses really mean.

Scenario 1) I run for cover. Well, I think it's fair to say that I wouldn't run for cover unless I was certain that what my friend was telling me was correct. In other words, I trust my friend. I believe her and have confidence in the veracity of what she says.

Scenario 2) I ignore my friend and carry on with my life. I think it's reasonable to say I shouldn't refer to this person as my "friend" all that freely. I obviously do not believe that what she says has any truth to it at all; for whatever reason, I clearly do not feel there's any truth in what she says. In other words, I don't believe her. (I don't know about you, but I feel a twinge of conviction as I write this. I have a couple "friends" to whom I really might have this kind of a response; makes me realize I may need some prayerful consideration of those relationships....)

And, lastly, Scenario 3) I might kind of, sort of heed the warning, but I'm clearly not convinced. I may take my time, and most likely, I might start looking for some other source for information. Maybe this is a friend I don't know well, or a friend that I don't really know to have any authoritative knowledge in the area of the sky and its happenings. Whatever the case, I may have some reason to partially trust this person, but I'm still not absolutely certain that every word she speaks is absolute truth. Fair enough.

So, I suspect you can see where I'm going with this - at least for starters. In truth, these are three of the responses I can have to Jesus and His words. Sometimes, I act as if I don't think He has a clue. Sometimes, my interest is piqued, but I'm still looking for additional input. And, every now and then, He says I should jump, and my immediate response is "how high?" I'm learning on this front; always.

Alright, are you hanging in there with me? With this piece under our belts, let's move on to this second verse. What is it that is promised for those who listen to Him and put what He says into practice? Or, if you're willing to indulge my analogy, those of us who hear the voice of our Friend and immediately respond with action?

We get a firm foundation. Amen! He is that, isn't He? But, we get more... yes, more! When the torrents come, we will not be shaken. Not only are we not crumbled and destroyed, our homes are not even shaken. I'll take some of that!

And, friends, here's where the hope comes in. Biblical hope is about expectation. It's not just aimless uncertain cross-my-fingers kind of hope; it's hope that says, "I know this is coming, and I cannot wait!" This is hope rooted in knowledge of His word (the hearing of the words, in analogy to Jesus' teaching), and in not just hearing it, and not just knowing it, but in believing it. What I'm understanding in this parable is that while knowing what Jesus' words are is great, living a life because of the fact that it is what He said is better... and, at least speaking for myself, I don't actually live into direction unless its coming from someone I absolutely trust and believe. It's not a new concept, but the challenge in this for me is not just believing in Him; it's believing Him. As I'm journeying hand-in-hand with Him, I'm learning that the distinction is actually the door to a world of difference. I pray for your own insights as you let this mean whatever it will for you.

Much love tonight... He is good.

Got Power?

Okay, if any of you are like me, and sometimes just need a mental booster, try this on for size....


"And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you" Romans 8:11 (NIV).


Okay, back up... I always need to remind myself to really take this in, "the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you". Okay, one more time. "the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you."


Okay, Lord, please forgive me when I doubt Your power, doubt your ability or doubt the freedom You have set aside for me!


I know it's crazy, but I have to admit that, at times, I do find myself doubting, unconsciously, whether or not God's power is enough. I know, I know. I mean, I don't consciously sit around thinking, "Well, I don't know...God? I'm not sure He's up for the task." But, what my actions demonstrate is that, sometimes, I'm not sure. What other explanation is there for my doubt, my fear and my consistent attempts to "help"? And yet, listen to what the Truth tells us here.


The power that raised JESUS from the dead... okay, seriously, as I've heard this pointed out before by others, if I don't think that power is enough to help tackle my issue, whatever it may be on a given day... well, if I doubt that, I need a readjustment in my view! I mean, really! What problems do I have that are bigger than raising from the dead the one who died with the sins of the world on His shoulders???


Okay, that's what I thought. Not so much.


So, amen & hallelujah! There isn't anything we can face that is more than what His Spirit can overcome. Just a reminder; no room for doubt. It is spelled out quite clearly. Thank You, Lord!

Mistaken Opportunities

As I've written about before, it's easy for me to be very hard on myself. I suspect many (if not most) of us are like this. Even when I am complimented, it sometimes sparks me to feel not gratitude, but instead shame for all the ways in which either 1) I do not live up to the compliment or 2) all the other ways in which I do not deserve any praise.

I'm afraid I don't have more eloquence for it... but what I can say is that, for whatever reasons, I can often feel a little down on myself or disappointed in my own imperfection. In fact, that's probably one of my biggest challenges in responding to others. I think we probably all have our own motives that vary from instance to instance, but quite often, when I feel defensive, it's simply a shield for my own disappointment in my (once again) revealed imperfection.

In truth, this is a ludicrous problem to have! I was reminded of this today when reading in Luke. This is the passage in which Jesus is being criticized for befriending Levi, the tax collector. Jesus' response to His critics is one I need to hear again and again:

"Jesus answered them, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick'" Luke 5:31 (NIV).

Ooooh, right.

It is precisely because of my imperfections and human failings that I need Jesus. And not only because of these thing do I need Him, but because of them, He came, and because of them, I am repeatedly and readily convinced of my need for His hand in my life.

In truth, it's a simple lack of humility that prompts me to feel disappointed in my imperfection. I don't say this to be critical, but to be honest and plain. Only when I expect that I, of my own power, can act in a way that is "perfect" am I disappointed when I am not perfect. I am sure that many of my mistakes and mis-steps (whether sins or not... I know I can count many things as mis-steps that aren't sin at all... just another sign of my out-there standards!) disappoint God. But I suspect He doesn't even pause to be surprised by my failings. Instead, it's just an opportunity for Him to love me. And, when it comes down to it (and especially because I have no choice!), I'll take all the opportunities for Jesus' love that I can get!

Thank You, Lord, for loving me!

Helping Jesus

I believe there are many layers of instruction in the Word - and one of the ways in which God speaks to me through it is sometimes in just starting my mind down a path. So, today, I'm going to take you through a little thought-path of mine. Hopefully I can navigate through without losing any passengers!

I started with this verse:

"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" Genesis 2:18 (NIV).

I hear good instruction in this verse - a reminder that as a wife someday, my role is to be a helper to my husband. I'm sure pages and pages could be written about what it really means to be a helper, not to mention the fact that I'd love to take some time to pull apart the word "suitable" here, but that will have to be for another day. For today, I started thinking about the role of the wife. I also wondered, as I felt led to write on this verse, what information there is in it for someone who may never be married, or for a husband or in some other context.

I started thinking about Jesus, and how we (as the church ) are to be His bride. I am no Biblical scholar, nor do I make any claims about authoritative interpretation of the Bible beyond what is trickles into my head after prayerful requests for insight. That said, it made me think about what it might mean to be a suitable helper to Jesus.

Hmmm, interesting thought, isn't it? My first one, quite honestly, was "How can I help Jesus?!? He's Jesus! And I'm just me!" I'm pretty stinkin' clear that I need His help; I'm not sure I've ever given thought before to the idea of helping Him in some way.

So then I thought about Jesus and His attitude toward the poor; I remembered His words in Matthew 25 encouraging care for the poor, the weakened and the prisoner. Specifically, I remembered "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Ah, yes. Unconditional love and giving. Of course that helps Jesus!

Just like a mother or good friend feels personally helped when her child or friend is helped by someone else, so does Jesus. He loves each and every one of us that much - that when we help them, especially the "least" of them, we help Him too.

This is a simple concept (I never claimed anything more!), but valuable. It's just another reminder; the ways I act and the things I do, I do not do without an audience. And, beyond that, when I do His will and walk in His ways, I give back exponentially more than I can understand, because the power I get from Him also has the potential to be amplified and used by Him in ways I may never understand.

I hope to be a very good wife to my earthly husband someday. And for now and always, I will remember that I can and am called to helping Jesus in His pursuit of salvation, love and grace for all.

The Heart of God

I was talking today with a friend about...well, about life. Life's twists and turns and how tough it is to wait for God to reveal what His answers are. I was sharing that if I'd learned anything about waiting on God, it was that His sense of timing was waaay different from my own! And yet, I believe in Him and in His ways. I absolutely believe that His way is the path to my greatest good.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).

It's a familiar verse for many, but it's one of my favorites - one that I just like to curl up with and let it renew me and teach me more about God's heart. And really, it says some incredibly important things about God and His heart.

Not only does He know the plans He has for us, but there's more. And really, even that can be reassuring at times. I know that I have at times felt like God was maybe just sort of waffling back and forth or still trying to come up with a strategy. This verse reminds me that my fears aren't truth. He KNOWS the plans He has for us. So, not only does He know them, but He has them. Phew, okay. That's a good start.

What's more? His plans are to prosper us, and not to harm us. Quickly, a look at that word: prosper. It's derived from the Hebrew word "shalom." Many of us know this word, but few have looked into the rich depth of its full meaning. Shalom means peace, but it means complete, full and happy peace. This word is associated with rest and welfare, health and favour. This word is also about safety. These are the things God plans for us. Rest, welfare, health, favor, safety... complete, full and happy peace. Wow. I love this Lord!

His plans are good. His plans are complete. Pray for His help in waiting if you need it; He will not let you down!

Set Apart in Daily Life

Alright, well, I'm going to dive right in. I have to say, I love the Lord, and I love, love, love His sense of humor! Sometimes He just makes me laugh. Other times, like today, He just makes me scrunch up my nose, chuckle a bit and shake my head.

What on earth am I talking about?
This is today's verse:

"Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns, and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner. But you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk" Deuteronomy 14:21 (NIV).

Yes, I'm serious.

Here's what caught my attention about this one. There are things in this world (things like dead animals) that are just fine as they are. There's nothing wrong with them, there's nothing "bad" about them; they are just a part of what life includes here. And, be that as it is, they're just fine for the next guy, for my neighbor, my boss and some other folks I know.

And why is that? Is it because I'm so much better than everyone else? No, of course not! It's because, by the Grace of Jesus, I have been adopted into the family of His chosen people. I've been called to be set apart. Now, my thought process about the above verse adds one final reminder - one that I need, because it's easy for me to think that being God's chosen for holiness makes me somehow superior to others. It makes me blessed, no doubt about it. But not better! And even if it did, that's not my place to judge. But here's what I noticed as well. God says it's okay to take the already dead meat and give it to an outsider. This is the same God who, even in this same chapter of the Bible, talks about generosity to the alien, and those unable to provide for themselves. He even goes a step further! He says it's okay to sell it to the foreigner! This is the same unchanging God who wants us to love our enemies. And, it's okay to sell this meat to them. I think it's a reasonable inference that the meat, in and of itself, isn't bad or poisoned or tainted or cursed it some way. It's just not for us.

I wish I had some thorough, eloquent and (most importantly) authoritative explanation for why exactly that is. I don't. I know I don't. But I know and believe it to be true. And I have examples of this principle in my own life. In fact, I have one from this very day.

I had a challenging conversation with someone today. And when I got off the phone, although I was frustrated by the content of the conversation itself, I felt more upset about how I'd handled myself. I hadn't yelled, and I hadn't cursed or been mean... but I hadn't been kind either. I'd been short tempered, aggressive and impatient. I was not exactly displaying the fruit of the Spirit. So... I sat with it a bit, went to the Lord in prayer and just said, "deal with me! I trust that you are dealing with the other person; she's yours to handle! But, Lord, I ask you to deal with me too!" And He did. Gently. Lovingly and without condemnation. Long story short, I called her back and was able, with the help of the infilling of the Spirit, to speak to her honestly and out of love. It was good. He always is.

But, the parallel I'm drawing here is this: 98.2% of the people I know could have heard my end of the conversation and said, "Well, you didn't say anything that bad. It's fine." I think a typical reaction might have been just to shrug it off. And, perhaps, that could have been okay. But, the Spirit spoke to me, and said, "You're being held to a different standard now." Different, by far, from the standard to which I'd been held before - even in my own heart and spirit. This is God's refining fire; I'm being set apart. So, I yielded (the key verb of my life, I think), and God does what He alone can do. He heals, He rejoins, He restores. The principle here is the same as in this random verse about dead animals. We're called to be different. We're called to do things in a different way. When it comes to specifics, I can't always give a good answer for why, but it is what it is, and it's His. So, I trust it's good. And when I listen, and yield, and learn, I am better for it. And I sensed in my encounter with Him today that He was pleased with me too. For my willingness I would guess. I am grateful for that. What a loving Father!

No Need to Hide

A few years ago, I caught hold of a very powerful idea; it seems simple now in the retelling, but at the time it really gave me pause for reflection. The idea was that many of the ways in which I was "acting out" (which is a pathetically general way of trying to quickly lump together a multitude of behaviors, so please forgive me!) were motivated by a single thing: I wanted to control the way I was perceived.

Naturally, one thing that can sometimes influence how we're perceived is how we act. All those external cues do inform the ways in which we're seen. However, I think all will agree that sometimes, what we understand as the reality of our actions seems to be a hundred miles apart from how another person might see or understand us. There are umpteen factors influencing these things - factors brought to the picture by the person viewed, and those brought by the person viewing.

Where I'm going with this is simply that I think we can all relate to the idea of trying to not "seem" a certain way or another... whether we really are that way or not. For myself, I hold an ideal in my heart of never trying to manipulate my image; it's simple but absolute honesty for which I strive. Now, in truth, I frequently fall short of this ideal. I find myself trying to manipulate the impression I make on others without even realizing it - in subtle ways. Nothing that anyone might call deceit, but beneath are two fallacies: 1) I can control how another person perceives me and 2) There is something to be gained from doing so.

In light of these ideas, here's the verse that caught my eye today: "His eyes are on the ways of men; he sees their every step " Job 34:21 (NIV).

Thankfully, I'm at a place in my life where I don't mind admitting to you that I sometimes find myself trying to control and change (viz. manipulate) the way that even God sees me! Isn't the very idea ridiculous? Well, certainly I agree; the idea is ridiculous! The attempt is pitiful! And yet, I do it all the time!!!

It's a simple message to say that God sees us exactly as we are. And, in fact, I'll add to that a reminder that He sees us with eyes that see even more clearly than our own. He knows us - in every sense, in every way and on every level.

I'm not sure what the "purpose" may be for you in this reminder, but I will toss this last thought into the idea before I close. He knows each and every thing you've ever done, thought, said and even felt - and He adores you, absolutely loves you and deeply longs for intimate relationship with you.

Wow. Lord, when I am feeling lofty, help me remember that I cannot hide from You. And when I swing the other way and start to feel unworthy, help me to know with conviction that You know me better than I could ever know myself, and that because of Your loving gift of sacrifice, You deem me worthy. Help me to never take so great a step of arrogance as to think my own estimation of my worth is more accurate than Your own! And when I do stumble on this rocks, help me reaffirm the truths of Your word and know that I am wonderfully made by You! And that, truly, nothing else is relevant! Thank You, Lord!

Demolition Derby

Alright, I just love, love, love this verse. Check it out:

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds” 2 Corinthians 10:4 (NIV).

Now, I may be slightly biased; it is certainly true that I have had my fair share of strongholds with which to contend in life. And, so, as I continue on in warfare on my own patch of grass here, I so appreciate the vote and promise of divine power here!

I'll keep this brief for today. I think, in looking at this one, that the text speaks for itself so very clearly. And to help demonstrate that point, there's probably no better approach than simply looking at the original language of the text itself.

The word translated as weapons doesn't necessarily connote only warfare or fighting. It does imply armor and a taking up of arms, but it also implies simple tools or utensils. The take away there for me is that it's not only in the hard times of serious fighting that I need to remember to call on His weaponry and strength; it's all times. Even when I may be passing by my sword and grabbing for a simple hammer.

Next, "divine power." The more word-for-word King James translates this phrase as "mighty through God" referencing two root words: one for "mighty" and one for "through God." The word for mighty is a word I am loving: dynatos. It means powerful, but also capable. I don't know about you, but there's an added layer of importance to that. A ninja kick to the gut might be powerful. But, unless your goal is either violence or a really slick video clip, it probably isn't going to really accomplish much in your personal situation. But this word, dynatos, implies capability, possibility and strong, powerful ability. It's a word that, to my reading, implies that things can get done and that they can get done with the same kind of might encapsulated in a wicked-cool ninja kick. The word translated as "through God" reminds me of the last very important element: it's through, because of and within the context of God that we have this power available to us, and, if I may say so, that the power has the ability to do anything at all.

Lastly, the demolition of strongholds. Stepping aside from the original language for a moment, I love the NIV's choice of "demolish" here. What a great word! I picture a house and bulldozer, and that house, in my mind's eye, is just a heap of sticks in a matter of moments. And, really, what's great is that the Greek supports this word-picture to a certain extent! This word for demolish really means to pull-down or tear-down. It implies destruction and complete extinction. Praise God! His weapons have the power to make extinct my problems! What an awesome piece of truth that is!!!

And, as the final piece, strongholds: part of the translation I have found for this word lends itself to the idea of a fortified castle, a structure holding safely its shape and form. I imagine a big castle, complete with moat and creaky drawbridge. Big ole walls have surrounded some of my own castle-strongholds. But this verse says that they can be torn down and completely destroyed, by the power of the weapons He puts into our hands and to which He gives His power! Awesome! I'm taking my own mental pictures and following through here: bulldozer, meet castle. And that's it! Bye-bye castle! Moat and drawbridge are no more. It's freed promised land that my God has set aside for me! And for you, too! What an awesome word of encouragement and empowerment!