I had lunch with a friend today, and we were discussing some of the more challenging areas in our lives at present. We both noticed the same thing in one another as we continued talking. We had both said "I don't understand..." quite a lot. Between the two of us, it seemed to be the basic summary of each of our topics. We just didn't understand certain things about them. And depending on the situation or the particular unanswered question, these unknowns were creating within us feelings of pain, anxiety, discomfort or confusion.
As we identified this in our conversations, we started talking about recent teachings we'd both heard about Proverbs 3:5-6:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (NIV).
In my experience, it's natural to want to understand the situations in our lives. The whys and hows and sometimes even the whats that are sometimes hard to find can help us piece together the realities of our lives, and I know that, for myself, understanding more of a certain something can help me to grow in wisdom, in maturity and in other ways. However, there are other times when I pray and I seek and I dig deep and I still have no answers.
I feel fairly sure that the reason we long to know and to understand so many of the situations in our lives - even when answers do not come - is precisely rooted in something that these verses in Proverbs are pointed against. I want to understand. Believe me, at times, I really, really, really want to understand. And why might that be? Well, it's because I'd like to lean on my own understanding!
There are times in my life when, even though I understood exactly why or how something needed to be a certain way, stepping forward into that part of my life was hard, and it took gobs of faith in His providence, His goodness and His mercy. That seems to be one of the essential elements of this fallen world: parts of it are just painful in and of themselves. That's (earthly) life.
On the other hand, there are other situations which force me to admit that at least having some sort of understanding helps. It's a little way I can close some of the gap over which I get to jump on my leap of faith. I presume we can all think of times in our lives when we've stepped out in faith, unsure of what was coming next, precisely because we understood what was happening in the big picture. But how much harder is it, my friends, to step forward or even leap forward while having absolutely no real understanding of the rest of the picture? Oh how much more faith it takes to just go and obey, even though we don't understand at all!
I'm reminded again of one of my favorite verses, one I know I've written about here:
"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going" Hebrews 11:8 (NIV).
Abraham obeyed and went. Abraham left Lot. Abraham wandered far. Abraham took his son, his heir, the subject of the promises He'd been given and walked him to the altar. I think it's a reasonable guess to say that, at least sometimes, he didn't understand. In fact, as I look through Hebrews 11, a chapter often called "The Halls of Faith," I am struck by how few of these heroes of the faith were likely to have understood much if anything about what God was calling them to do. But they did. They believed. They obeyed. They went. And later, they received these sacred places as their inheritances, metaphorical and physical.
I am going to be listening to myself...when I talk, when I write, and when I pray. I will be listening for the phrase, "I don't understand..." and I will be challenging myself to use those areas of life as a jumping off place for greater faith, greater trust and greater belief. And I believe He will reveal great inheritances from it. Thank You, Lord, for being who You are! You are great and holy and wise! I declare praise for Your holy name!
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