New Again

Here's a verse with which I'd guess most of you are familiar. However, in the Amplified translation, some additional depth is provided. I, personally, found it giving me a renewed appreciation for the verse itself.

"Let each one [give] as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves (He takes pleasure in, prizes above other things, and is unwilling to abandon or to do without) a cheerful (joyous, “prompt to do it”) giver [whose heart is in his giving]." 2 Corinthians 9:7 (AMP)

Personally, I have times where I know the thing that God would find most pleasing is me giving of myself in some way, but regardless of that knowledge, I still don't feel necessarily "cheerful" about it. In fact, there have been times for me when the choice to give has been simple obedience, and although it's not exactly something to be proud of, there are times when that giving is almost reluctant.

Personally, I don't think this lessens the importance of giving. And, in fact, for myself, I've found that giving in those types of situations is sometimes more important than in other scenarios. Rarely have I consciously chosen to be self-sacrificing (regardless of the scale) when, later, I haven't been able to say that I, too, benefited from the giving. I'm quite convinced this is an intentional part of our design. We're meant to give. We're meant to get outside of ourselves. For me, it's the easiest cure for my own negative feelings and moods: getting out of myself, helping someone else and gratitude. It's an amazing (and nearly fool-proof) combination.

The verse above, however, brings a smile to my heart. Although sometimes my reluctant giving may benefit me, here I am reminded that when I give with a generous and willing heart, God is pleased. This translation highlights the root Greek's implication that this type of joyous giving is something God especially prizes. I'm so grateful to be able to say that as God has changed my heart and renewed my mind in the last few years, giving is something I do much more often and much, much more cheerfully than times in my past. And I am glad to know that it brings gladness to Him - as well as to me and those I can help! Talk about a perfect design... He truly is wonderful!

I Took Off My Watch Today

I took my watch off in church tonight. That might be a fact that seems uninteresting to you all, but it was a symbolic gesture. There are certain things, specific and direct promises of the Bible in fact, about which I can get fairly impatient. I was having an impatient day today.

And as I was in worship today, I listened to the song I was singing. The words coming out of my own mouth were about kings and their kingdoms bowing down to the Lord. I felt the pull inside of me, and knew I had places inside me inside that needed to bow down. The words of my pastor from a few weeks back came to my heart: surrendering to God's will means that you have to be willing to not get your own way. I knew that, for me, the message the Spirit was bringing to my heart was that I needed to continue to trust in God for His promises, for I know that they are coming (believe me; He's expended no small effort convincing me of that!)... BUT, I need to stop worrying about when. I needed to let go of the timing. I needed to be fully and wholly willing to not get my way.

And I'll be frank with you (and tell you something you probably already know): my preference would be that God would fulfill some of these promises sooner rather than later. And, I'll tell you something else that you (hopefully already know): God's sense of timing is not only perfect, but it's a little different than my own. Sometimes, it's a LOT different.

So, as I'm standing in worship, hands in the air, the Spirit gave me an idea that I knew was from Him and that I knew I needed to follow through with. I took off my watch. I left it off for the remainder of the service, and I suspect that I may take it off next time I'm in church. And maybe, for awhile, I'll just take my watch off as I go into church. Just as a reminder to myself of what it means to surrender fully. It means being willing to not get my way, to not have things happen n my own time. And it means that I do it all willingly, gladly. So, off with the watch. His timing is perfect. And He doesn't need a watch. I trust Him. I will continue to do so. That's really all there is to it. And all there ever will be.

Holy Hands, Lifted in Prayer

This really struck me today:

"I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing." 1 Timothy 2:8 (NIV)

Isn't this really the essence of what it's all about? People everywhere loving God. All of us praying. Lifting up holy hands...hands made Holy through Jesus' work...no anger...no disputes. I can imagine it in my mind's eye. Hopefully you, too, have had the opportunity to witness something similar to what is in my head. Men, women, children maybe... all lifting up their hands, praying with a heart of worship, coming to Him in Spirit and in Truth.

This last New Year's eve, I was able to be a part of an event for middle school and high school aged youth. As the clock struck midnight, I got to watch these young people worshiping the Lord in earnest. What a way to ring in the new year...! I felt an intense wave of emotion and remember thanking God for the privilege of watching that moment. They were absolutely beautiful. Young, tender hearts absolutely pouring out in authentic adoration of their Savior. I have goose bumps just remembering the moment.

So, yes, as I remember that, I definitely am filled with a desire of my own to see all mankind life their holy hands to heaven in prayer.

Whatever I can do to be a part, Lord... I'm in! Here I am! Send me!

Count Your Blessings

This is going to be a short one tonight; my schedule has been crazy lately. Hope y'all don't mind my quickies...

Tonight I just want to put in a plug (mostly for my own sake) to remember to get outside of myself. It's been extra stressful and busy at work lately, and what I am called to remember is that focusing on myself keeps me stuck there. When I focus on Jesus, I am reminded of the things on which Jesus kept His attention: ministering to others in love, time in prayer and communion with the Father. When I keep my attention focused on these things, me and my tiny world slip into proper perspective. His eyes see with a different sight, and a different view... a properly adjusted view. And when I stay nearer to Him, not only in my time, but also in my mind, I give Him more opportunity to renew my mind and transform my person. It's easier said than done, but when it's done, it's totally worth it.

He'll Do What He Says He'll Do

"And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." Luke 11:9-10 (ESV)

I find myself challenged tonight to really believe the words of truth I've copied above. I have come such a distance in recent months on this journey of believing God. I have a short (but wonderful) list of specific promises and words that the Lord has spoken into my heart, and I praise His holy name that I am actively, presently, deeply believing Him and trusting Him for their fulfillment. I believe.

And like the precious father whose story I hope is never far from my heart, I must echo his words and sentiment:

"At once the father of the boy gave [an eager, piercing, inarticulate] cry with tears, and he said, Lord, I believe! [Constantly] help my weakness of faith!" Mark 9:24 (AMP)

Yes, I believe; I believe! And, I must ask, please, dearest Lord, help me with my unbelief!

I seek. I ask. I knock and I knock and I knock. And there are certain doors it is hard to believe are in the midst of a slow opening. And yet, His word remains true and I judge Him faithful who has made these promises unto me. I stand on the Word of God. I need no better foundation.

Thanks Be to God

I really am not smart enough to get myself through life. Forget getting through without hurt, without pain or disappointment. Forget getting through life on this earth without major travesty or damage. I'm talking about getting through at all. The older I get, the more convinced and deeply persuaded I am that, on my own, I am wholly inadequate and totally unqualified.

I don't mean this as hubris, and it doesn't feel self-deprecating in my heart. It's just the plain facts. Without my God, I would...well, I would live the life I had before I surrendered my heart and will to the Lord of all. I fought everything in my life, and each day felt like a tiring and tireless battle. What feels most profoundly like the difference between "then" and now is the fact that I don't feel so exhausted all the time anymore. There is energy in Him I never knew. There is life. Abundant life.

And what I feel like I know is that there is even more to come. I know there is more to come. I believe there is more to come. The Word tells me this, and I know that it is truth. But, what is like the icing on the cake is the fact that I can feel it too. With anticipation. With acceleration, and with deliberation, He is bringing more abundance, more love, more richness and more bounty. Sometimes, day by day. It's awesome. And perhaps the most amazing part is that He's brought my spirit to a place where, as I see and acknowledge what He's doing in my life, I find myself overwhelmed with joy...and with gratitude...and (here's the best part) glorifying Him all the more! And that, I believe, is what it's all about. I am here to do His will. I am here to bring Him pleasure. I am here to glorify the One True God.

I pray continually for wisdom and patience and the ability to do these things more and more. I want simply what He wants of me, and the more I let go of what I want for myself, the more I understand that what He wants for me is better, way better. I love this God; I love the Lord. There is none other.

"But, on the contrary, as the Scripture says, What eye has not seen and ear has not heard and has not entered into the heart of man, [all that] God has prepared (made and keeps ready) for those who love Him [ who hold Him in affectionate reverence, promptly obeying Him and gratefully recognizing the benefits He has bestowed]. Yet to us God has unveiled and revealed them by and through His Spirit, for the [Holy] Spirit searches diligently, exploring and examining everything, even sounding the profound and bottomless things of God [the divine counsels and things hidden and beyond man’s scrutiny]" 2 Corinthians 2:9-10 (AMP).

Believing Not Required

I've had a draft of this post saved in my files for months now. I felt inspired by the Spirit to write it, but until now, had been unsure of what it was supposed to say. I had only a very general notion and a title: Believing Not Required.

Last night, I was talking with a good, Bible-loving friend, and she spoke about a scripture with which I hadn't been familiar. As soon as she shared it with me, though, I knew that it was the foundation of what this long-lingering draft post was meant to say.

I've prayed and read and, of course, written frequently about believing God in the last months. I have found myself in a season of tutelage that has, I think, been God's gracious time to teach me to bring my own faith, my own believing in Him to a new level. What I believe He wants me to remember though is that my belief isn't a requirement for Him.

Now, don't get me wrong; we are commanded over and over again to believe in Him throughout His word, and our belief opens our lives to many of His gifts and graces, including our very salvation. But God, who He is and what He does is not dependent upon us. It doesn't hinge on me or on my belief (which, I must say, is a very, very important and brilliant element of the design!). Without my belief, God is still who He is. He still is His amazing, powerful, wonderful, magnanimous, gracious, glorious, beautiful God. Aren't you glad?

"True, some of them were unfaithful; but just because they were unfaithful, does that mean God will be unfaithful? Of course not! Even if everyone else is a liar, God is true. As the Scriptures say about him, 'You will be proved right in what you say, and you will win your case in court.'" Romans 3:3-4 (NLT)

Undone

"Here in your presence, we are undone..."

These are the lyrics to a worship song that I've been falling in love with lately.

And I was thinking today about what that statement really means. In His presence, because of Him, and when I draw near to Him, I am undone. And, you know, when I think about it, it's more than evident to me that I need undoing like I need little else. I need Him to undo my pride, undo my fear, undo my doubt, undo my self-seeking, my self-sufficiency and my willful resistance to His ways.

The quote from this lyric speaks the heart of scripture so truly. It is when I put myself, my heart and my very being into His presence, yielded to His spirit, that I can be undone. Undone by Him, undone by His love, undone by His grace. As I said, there's little I think I need more. So, as a reminder to myself, I will challenge you to make sure to take time - every day...every day - to be in His presence, and be open to (and inviting of) His undoing of you. You need it, just like I do. We all do.

Stuff He Does

I had a really bad day. Work stuff, nothing major, but blah. Not a fun day. And then, in the word, this one jumped off the page at me:

"Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes!" 1 Samuel 12:16 (NIV)

Here's the best part about this verse: the words that are translated to "to do" as in the what the Lord is about "to do" is in a tense that represents something beginning, yes, but also ongoing. And toward the beginning, the part that says "stand" is in a true command. So, here's what God had to say to me today, on a day that was all but totally blah for me, God commands me to stand in position and see (perceive, behold, discern, enjoy, and respect) the GOOD the Lord is about to do, and keep doing. Awesome. Thank You, Lord!

Be Called

Short and sweet tonight. Nothing is sweeter than the word of God...

"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man." Luke 21:34-36 (NIV)

I try to remember to take my time in the mornings. I try to consciously take each part of my day and hand it over to Him. I ask Him to help me yield, to help me remember that the project at work isn't my project, that my friends are HIS children, that my relationships are for HIS glory. It's easy to worry - when I think I have something to worry about. There is always much that is "about to happen." Of course, this passage spoke of a certain context, but the message is clear to me: I want to stand before Him knowing I kept my heart, mind and energies focused on Him and His will. Period.

Distraction is easy. To truly yield is to live is to live a calling. Be called.

Dwelling in Him = No Disaster or Harm for Me

I have several copies of the Bible, and for some reason I love them all. It's a book thing, maybe, but I still love them, and find myself wanting more copies! Now, don't be fooled into thinking this is some holy quality of mine. Quite the contrary! I think it's simply an appreciation of the art that is the beautiful way in which many Bibles are printed: the gilded pages, the thin paper...there's something about it that I love!

In any case, these days my "primary" Bible is on the computer (which is wonderful, but does lack gilded pages...). However, in different times, I tend to cycle through and switch around which printed Bible I have next to my bed, which one I carry with me, etc. And, as I read and listen to teachings, etc, I find myself scribbling inside the covers - different passages, verses on different themes, specific books, etc. Interestingly, the "strategy" for what I write and in what format varies printed copy to printed copy. In any case, I'd hazard a guess that *every* copy has written in it a small list of "favorite" Bible chapters. And, I'd further guess that each one has Psalm 91 on its list. And that, my friends, was the point on the whole story to this point. :)

"If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge - then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent" Psalm 91:9-10 (NIV).

There's a reason the 91st Psalm is so well known; the depth and richness of not only its message, but also its language are profound. Look at the verses above. Look at the promise: "no harm will befall you." Look at the reverence for the Lord: "the Most High." Look at the revelation of His protecting and loving nature: "who is my refuge." Look at the instruction: "If you make...." There is such wisdom in every sentence of this chapter, in my humble opinion, and for me, it's one of those that is like a soothing balm for my soul every time I read it.

I've included just a couple quick verses here, but in truth, I suppose this post is turning out to be a simple pitch for the 91st Psalm. Take some time with it today; I am certain you will find it worth the time. Blessings!

Forgiven

I was recently struck again by this passage:

"The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly" Luke 22:61-62 (NIV).

Just like Peter, Jesus looks right at us, sees us in our sin. We may fool some folks sometimes, but He sees us always. Yet, His love for us is overwhelming. Think of what it must have been like for Peter in that moment of bitter weeping, realizing what His Lord had said and then seen. Peter knew that He'd been known in a way only Jesus can know us - a way that, sometimes, exposes our shame. Yet, look at what Jesus did with Peter!

When I reflect on this, I am humbled by such a profound forgiveness. Forgiveness means starting over, it's a new starting place, it's the opportunity to begin again. Peter disowned Jesus three times, as He was betrayed in a terrible way by the world He came to save. And Jesus saw. And, He loved him.

Peter is no different than you or I. He sees us. He sees our sin, our shame and our failings. And He loves us. And you & I can be rocks upon which He furthers the purposes of His church! Don't let the lies of Satan confuse your mind. We fall. We fail. But we are not without hope. His sacrifice is our hope. His love is our freedom. His forgiveness of is our beginning. Honor that! Live into that! Think of how grateful we all should be that Peter didn't stop there, after that moment of weeping and hide for the rest of his life in darkness and shame. He let Jesus do what He came to do. He let Jesus erase his mistakes and make more of him than he could have ever made of Himself. The same is available to you. Embrace it!

Help Me Hold It

Aren't we lucky to have the opportunity to have real relationship and communion with our God?

This will be a short one today; I just wanted to share with you a simple reminder that I received today.

I was praying about a situation that has been long ongoing in my life, and one over which I have offered up much prayer. I have known from the beginning that this situation I couldn't control. I've known I needed to let go of it in every way I could. Out of my hands; in His hands. What confuses me sometimes is wondering about how I should pray. Do I ask for what I want to have happen? Do I pray for His will instead? Do I pray for both? I know I pray for them to become one. But I don't want to not do the part He asks me to do; I don't want to stop praying. Sometimes, I just don't know exactly what I should pray.

So, thankfully, I remembered today that I could ask Him that too. I just asked Him to teach me how to hold this thing in my prayer. I asked Him to show me exactly how He wanted me to pray.

Now, don't get me wrong; I am going to keep praying while He teaches. But I also trust that He is teaching me moment by moment. What a loving and might God He is. I honor You today, Lord! Thank You for all You do for me!!!

Plants Need the Rain to Grow

I got a word tonight, and it was one I didn't even know I needed. The Lord's been talking to me lately about some important things (at least important in my life), and He keeps reassuring me that His word does not return void. That He accomplishes His desires and purposes. I've taken great comfort in His generous reassurances and encouragement.

Tonight, as I was praying, I kept feeling a nudge to go check out Isaiah 55. So, I did. I - off the top of my head - didn't know what might be in Isaiah 55, but as I read through the chapter, I found several things that jumped out at me, and spoke to my heart. Then I came across these two verses. Consciously, I wasn't even aware this verse was in Isaiah 55...what's more, I'm fairly certain I'd never really considered in the context of the verse above it. Here's what I'm talking about:

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it" Isaiah 55:10-11 (NIV).

It's funny; I've had many times during which I just needed to accept that God was working on something, and be peaceful in simply that knowledge. And there are about a million things in my mind that I think I could apply that same point to today. A couple, however, are bigger than others, and God spoke to my heart here telling me that not only is He working for something, and not only will it accomplish His purposes (and, really, thankfully by His grace, most moments that really IS enough for me!), but He also assured me that trying seasons aren't only about patience; they're not always only about trust; they're not even only always about being stretched... but, instead, they're about creating that which was intended in the first place. Look at the lovely language in this passage. He doesn't want me to just be, or even grow... He wants me to bud, and to flourish. He wants to use me to help yield seed for the sower and bread for the eater. He, through His word, produces what we need to do and be that which He's given us to be and accomplish in our lives.

His word doesn't accomplish what He purposes because it's scrappy and somehow manages to tough it out (a posture that I admit is sometimes the one I adopt). In fact, I looked at this Hebrew word translated as "accomplished" and it provides a wealth of insight! Some of the (many) defining words are to advance, to appoint, to bring forth, to deal with, to fulfill, to furnish, to grant, to prepare, to provide, to yield and (my personal favorite) to create. And although this word is the one used throughout Genesis to indicate creation of something from nothing, it doesn't always (or even usually) mean that. It just means to make. So, if I may, allow me to summarize the verses above to emphasize what I heard in them today:

The word that He speaks isn't meaningless or without efficacy; He sends it out with a purpose, and those things He's desiring happen. The things He's make are made. He sends rain and snow not only to water the earth, and not only to make flourishing plants and flowers. He sends it also so that the things that will come from those plants can be made; there will be seed for those who sow seed and bread for those who need to eat. He does things with His words and purposes that we might anticipate, but He does so much more. His purposes are more than I may realize, but, very importantly, realized by me or not, the things that please Him come to pass by the power of His word.

What a mighty God!

Center Point & a Wacky Metaphor involving a Maypole

So, I have an idea I'd like to convey, but may need God's help to do so in any way that makes sense! :)

Do you know what a Maypole is? Well, if you don't, you may want to google it quickly...the visual is important in my metaphor.

So, here's what I've pondering. Give me a minute to get to it, because I will appear to strangely veer here, but I will get back to the Maypole thing...

In thinking about spiritual warfare lately, I was prompted to what I think is a key realization. Although I may need to pray and declare scripture against the enemy and his tricks, my focus should never be on Satan. I don't know if anyone else will be able to relate to this, but speaking for myself, I can say that there have certainly been times (many of them, actually!) when even my praying and declaration of scripture was more "about" Satan than anything else.

What I mean by that is that, even when I've been in earnest prayer and focused on using His Truth in defense against the enemy, and even at times when I am intentionally raising the sword of the Spirit and the shield of faith...even then, there are sometimes times when my energy is more focused on the evil I'm standing against than on the One bringing the defeat. And when my energy stays focused on beating the enemy, I really see the net result as "close, but not quite."

So, this is where the Maypole comes in. I believe I can probably keep myself connected - by strands and ribbons to Satan, and he can be the center of my Maypole of spiritual battle...OR, I can un-tether myself, set Jesus as the center of the Maypole and dance around Him - although I may still be praying against Satan and his lies. In truth, the external view of what I'd be doing - praying, scripture, etc - may all look the same, but the inside is what I'm talking about here.

When I step into the battle, I lose instantaneous ground if I let the battle be about my enemy. The battle is about victory, and by necessity and by default, the battle must also be about the True Victor. For me, this has been a stirring and, truthfully, radical shift. I don't know how these tiny, subtle distinctions can make such a difference, but this one has for me. I hope it made sense, and I hope you are able to glean from it something that will bless you too!

Every Word

I know it hasn't been long since I last wrote about this topic, but it's current for me today... God is speaking conviction into my heart. Tonight I decided; I surrender every word.

"Talk no more so very proudly; let not arrogance go forth from your mouth, for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed" 1 Sam 2:3 (AMP).

All in all, I think I do a "pretty good" job with the way in which I use my mouth. In all honesty, I think about being set apart, and I think that, on the whole, I hold myself to a higher standard than the average person...so, that's good enough, right?

For me, tonight, the answer is, "wrong."

Aren't we grateful that Jesus didn't hold himself the standard of "better than average"? Lord, thank You that you love us perfectly not "better than most." God is faithful and unfailing, and I personally haven't seen much in the Bible about living in obedience "better than most people do." *sigh* So, okay... here's my story.

Today, someone I work with neglected to do something that is not only clearly this person's job, but also is something they said they'd done. However, they had not. This left me in the position of getting to deliver some not-great news to several people. I wasn't happy about it. And I had a fleeting moment in which the Spirit allowed for me to have enough self-control to actually make a decision about how I'd respond. Now, just to be clear, I was already done "handling" the outward situation. I'd kept my cool and stayed professional in front of those affected. Afterward, however, I walked over to a friend's office, closed the door and had what can only be described as a hissy fit. I did. I'm not really proud of it, but it is what I did. (Thank God that He has the power to transform us minute by minute!)

You know, truthfully, I don't think there's anything wrong with venting; at least for me, this is sometimes a healthy way to blow off steam. For me, however, that isn't what I was doing today. Today, I was simply indulging in my desire to have a little mini fit about it. So I did. And "most people" would say I was completely justified, and I'm pretty sure that the eyes of the world would have deemed me quite justified in going much farther in my reaction. Trouble is, it's not the eyes of the world in which I want to be deemed pleasing. There is a whole host of witnesses. I am saddened to think about what they saw.

For me, today, the issue wasn't about anger or patience or kindness or any thing of the sort. The core "thing" for me today was simply about permissiveness. In a split second, I essentially decided that I do "well enough" on this whole self-control and use of the mouth thing, and so that I was giving myself exemption from His standard - at least for 10 or 15 minutes. Ouch. That hurts even just to retell it.

So, anyway, here's what I've decided. He gets every word. Every word. Now, I may not restrain my tongue perfectly from this moment onward, but I WILL be praying for His help in this transformation, and I absolutely believe Him for His ability. Shoot, He breathed the world into being; I'm pretty sure He can teach me to shut my mouth.

Two final points: both of these are, I think, essential to the real meat of this issue.

1) By deciding to exempt myself from His standard I am taking an incredibly arrogant position. Even when it's only for a second, and even when I can do exactly what I did today and still, in the eyes of my secular co-workers, look to be more "Christlike" than maybe some other folks. Maybe especially then. I didn't yell. I didn't spew profanity. I didn't curse my co-worker or anything of the sort. But I didn't honor God either. For a concise summary of what's wrong with this picture, see the scripture referenced above.

2) This is a point that has been all over my devotionals and personal reading lately; I'm pretty sure God is trying to make a point with me. The Holy of Holies is unlikely to empower my mouth with much influence for His kingdom if I am unwilling to wholly surrender it and its words to His standards. Plain & simple.

I get up each day and, in my prayers, basically ask God to help me do what He is doing today. I ask to be used for His purposes, and to have His will be done and His kingdom done in and through me. It's a pretty tough prayer for Him to fully answer if I step in and exempt myself from His ways on an issue-by-issue basis, huh? It's not the standards of my coworkers I'd like to live up to; it's not your standards I'd like to live up to either. It's His. They're the only ones that matter.

Lord, help me. Do in me that which I cannot do for myself. Transform my mind and teach me in Your ways. Thank You, Father, for Your faithful love and mercy. I love You, Lord! Help me bless You in my ways and in my words - every one!

Good Times

I can't be the only one who has found that - at least at certain points in my life, I tend to pray a lot more when things are hard. I'm quite grateful that over the years I've learned to turn quickly to my Lord when I'm hurting, frightened or simply feeling lonely. I've even learned to make the expression of gratitude to Him a practice and habit...but that's usually something that comes to mind most quickly when I'm feeling a surge of gratitude and thankfulness.

What about the rest of the time?

What about today? I was just sitting here thinking, "What on my heart today? What should I write about?" And I thought about how, really, this has been a good day. I had a good weekend. I am having fun on a busy project at work. The lovely weather provided an opportunity for me to take my dogs to the park and get some exercise, and my agenda for the evening includes laying on a hammock and reading His world...along with a phone call or two to a loved one. Wow, not too shabby, huh? :)

Well, that's when I remembered an important point. The Bible instructs us to sing songs of praise and to give thanks in many, many verses. There are also many examples of Biblical characters who model for us the behavior of turning to the Lord in gratitude and in joy. What I want to remember for myself is that it's not just when the thing I've been wanting or worrying about happens. It's not only when I'm having a really, really great day. It can be just in a normal ole good day. I have learned a spiritual practice of giving thanks in hurt and in fear that I find very helpful and healing... but I think learning to live in the action of gratitude in the midst of the dailiness of life is a worthy, and Biblical, pursuit. Don't you think?

A Heart of Blessing

I was talking with a friend this morning about blessing others, and up popped the topic of what is involved when we need to or feel called to bless someone toward whom we don't have what I'll call "a heart of blessing" (the translation here is you know, someone that drives you nuts, but I was going to try to go for something a little softer and, frankly, probably a little more inclusive).

I was remembering advice I'd been given years ago. It was advice I took, and I was very glad. The advice was, when it comes to someone you have a hard heart toward, start praying for them. But, more specifically, put yourself in their shoes, imagine what things they might want, like and need in their lives, and pray for those things to come to them. Pray that they would be blessed, in specific ways, and in ways that are the things that you think that person would appreciate the most.

A key part of this advice (a vital part as well, if I'm telling the truth) was that it doesn't matter if you mean it or not. This was quite a relief to me, I must say. And, actually, when I asked how long I would need to pray for these people in this way, the answer was "until you really mean it." And I'll admit right now, as I went through a list of people, there were some people who fell off the list quickly; I found it much easier than I might have guessed to pray for blessing in their lives with a sincere heart. There were others who were on that list for a much longer time period, and some of the who's who in that break down was surprising. What was most important though was that I did get to the point where I meant it with everyone on that list, and the wonderful by-products of that fact are 1) my heart was softened toward them and 2) I trust God was faithful in responding to my prayers.

There's not much more I need to say on this front. Take from this what you will. And if you're having a hard time sincerely blessing some folks who cross your path, I can say from personal experience that the whole prayer thing works. Praise God!

Abandoned to Believing

I'm putting forth a challenge for myself. I'm choosing to believe God without wavering, and to believe Him with abandon. Sounds a little dramatic (at least to me), but I think it's the thing I need to do the most.

I am reminding myself (with anyone who's reading this as a witness) that I CAN truly choose to believe God without wavering. I may not always feel trusting, and feel like I'm grounded in consistent belief, but what I can control is my choices. And my thoughts are choices - every single one of them. And I can either let my passing feelings lead my thoughts, or I can let my thoughts lead my feelings. Because, I believe that either one, one gets to lead. And I think that I have a choice about which I put in the front seat.

I've had such a hard time over the years with the idea of the renewing of my mind... not because I didn't think I needed it or because I didn't want renewal. I just didn't know how to let it happen. I tend to try too hard. In general, that's a wholly true statement about my life. I definitely tend to try too hard... and this area has been no exception. I have tried SO hard to renew my mind. Hopefully you immediately recognize the problem with this approach. I was trying to do it on my own.

Eventually, I figured out that I needed to let God to do the work. I learned that the thing that was on my list of things to do was simply to get out of the way. I admit freely, though, that even that is sometimes very hard for me. Quite simply, I often just don't know how to get out of the way. I'd lived out the habitual pattern of self-propulsion and self-sufficiency for so long...I just really didn't know another way.

For me, with the merciful (and constant) help of Jesus, I have gotten better...but what I have learned is that I have choices that add up. I think I was expecting to get to a certain day when everything would flip over in my head, and then suddenly "everything" would be different.

I absolutely believe that, sometimes, God decides He wants a certain thing to transform overnight, and even in my own life, I absolutely have had overnight transformations. At the same time, somethings are a slower road. And some slow roads require my daily, slow participation. For me, the journey of belief has been a slower road. And I'm learning, one day at a time, that my part is to take captive my thoughts. My feelings are tied in, but my thoughts are the part I can control, and I choose daily to let them drive.

This may not impact any of you much, but I needed the reminder. Thanks for sitting in.

Prayers

I heard on the radio today a letter someone had written about those devastated last year by the earthquake in China. The letter's writer ended it with "I send my warm thoughts to the families affected." It got me thinking...

Warm thoughts? Really? What does that mean? Well, I should rephrase. Obviously, the writer of the letter was motivated from a good place, and wanted to express kindness toward these families. That is, inarguably, a good thing. But what do the warm thoughts actually do? Nothing. I think they do nothing. The realization in that moment made me so grateful to be a Christian.

Through Christ's work on the cross, I have the ability to pray directly to the Holy One, the Mighty One. I am speaking to Him, and I can intercede on behalf of those to whom my heart goes out and actually help accomplish something!

"...the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" James 5:16 (NIV).

I do not mean to disparage the letter writer and her warm thoughts. I was just struck in the moment by the gift and honor we're given. When my heart aches for the millions of victims in China, or the countless others facing injustices and hardships in this world, I can do something. And I can do something that does not only make me feel better, but also actually has power and effect through God's hand. When I remember this, I am spurred onto more prayer and grateful for the authority in prayer He's given! Lord, teach me how to help in the blessings and restoration You're already doing! Show me how to pray; Thy will be done!

A Pilgrim

Well, I'm gonna start this off in a way that half makes me cringe and half makes me life... it's old school 7th grade essay style:

Pilgrim: (noun)
1. a person who journeys, esp. a long distance, to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion: pilgrims to the Holy Land.
2. a traveler or wanderer, esp. in a foreign place.
3. an original settler in a region.

And why am I talking about pilgrims? Thinking of Thanksgiving? Um, no. :) Here's a verse that, over the past couple years, has been near and dear to my heart. And it got me thinking:

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage" Psalm 84:5 (NIV).

The context of this particular verse doesn't give me any amazing new insights at the present moment, but what I have always found heartening about it is the reminder that not only is life with Christ about a journey, a pilgrimage.... and that, as I am a pilgrim, set on the journey He's plotting out for me, I can let my strength be in Him. I suspect I'll never tire of that reminder.

I am a traveler, and from this vantage point, the journey certainly seems long. I am a wanderer in a foreign place...absolutely. And it is in His strength that I can wander, and keep my heart set on the pilgrimage. And that brings blessing. What a wonderful way!

Perspective & a Sense of Urgency

I have learned something about myself over the years: when I am feeling like finding the answers and/or solution to a certain problem feels urgent, I am generally not in a place of trust or surrender. Granted, there are, of course, normal everyday life situations that come along and require an immediate response, but I am talking about bigger stuff here.

What path should I take with my career? Should I marry this person? Are we ready for another baby? What is it that feels "off" in my friendship with so-and-so? What is it Jesus is trying to teach me right now? What is it that is bothering me so much lately? Or in this situation?

These are examples of questions that, in my opinion, don't necessitate an "immediate" answer, and when I find myself looking at questions such as these, and am also fueled with a sense of urgent "I absolutely must figure this out right now!"-ness, I have a pretty good clue that I need to slow down and hand some things over to the Big Man.

I have this mental thing I do. I remind myself, "That's on His list." By that, I mean His "to do" list. I seem to find myself easily confused about which things, in the universe, are on my list of things to do and which things are on His. When I stop and consider this very simple question, it often helps me gain a more proper perspective. Deciding what to wear this morning? My list. Understanding how to heal a rift in my family? His list. Yes, once He reveals His answer, I may have footwork to do, but the "figuring out" is NOT on my list. Seeking, doing...yes, my list stuff. Crafting, visioning, creating...His stuff. Sometimes it's as easy as checking my verb. :)

I also find that my sense of urgency is often (always?) prompted out of a desire to get out of whatever uncomfortable spot I find myself in. This is usually an emotional discomfort that, for me, is sometimes excruciating! I realize that the more "urgent" things seem for me, the less likely it is that my urgency is really about the real situation. Is it urgent that I figure out, RIGHT NOW, what I want to do with the rest of my life? Um, no, not really. Is it imperative that it happen today that I heal the rift in my relationship with an old friend? Um, probably not. So, I have to remember: God's sense of timing strikes many a human heart as a little off, or perhaps, sometimes, a little slow (although I know I'm not the only one who's found Him to be a little fast as well!). What's true however is that His timing is perfect. His vantage point is better. His understanding is better. And His ways are always better.

Yield to Him. Find haven in Him for the discomfort that may be real in your situation; your feelings may be 100% valid, but that doesn't mean they have to drive the boat. I'll say it again. Yield to Him. He's the Prince of Peace. That's no coincidence. Let Him have stewardship over your ways, and He will get you there right on time.

Unknown Things

I had lunch with a friend today, and we were discussing some of the more challenging areas in our lives at present. We both noticed the same thing in one another as we continued talking. We had both said "I don't understand..." quite a lot. Between the two of us, it seemed to be the basic summary of each of our topics. We just didn't understand certain things about them. And depending on the situation or the particular unanswered question, these unknowns were creating within us feelings of pain, anxiety, discomfort or confusion.

As we identified this in our conversations, we started talking about recent teachings we'd both heard about Proverbs 3:5-6:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (NIV).

In my experience, it's natural to want to understand the situations in our lives. The whys and hows and sometimes even the whats that are sometimes hard to find can help us piece together the realities of our lives, and I know that, for myself, understanding more of a certain something can help me to grow in wisdom, in maturity and in other ways. However, there are other times when I pray and I seek and I dig deep and I still have no answers.

I feel fairly sure that the reason we long to know and to understand so many of the situations in our lives - even when answers do not come - is precisely rooted in something that these verses in Proverbs are pointed against. I want to understand. Believe me, at times, I really, really, really want to understand. And why might that be? Well, it's because I'd like to lean on my own understanding!

There are times in my life when, even though I understood exactly why or how something needed to be a certain way, stepping forward into that part of my life was hard, and it took gobs of faith in His providence, His goodness and His mercy. That seems to be one of the essential elements of this fallen world: parts of it are just painful in and of themselves. That's (earthly) life.

On the other hand, there are other situations which force me to admit that at least having some sort of understanding helps. It's a little way I can close some of the gap over which I get to jump on my leap of faith. I presume we can all think of times in our lives when we've stepped out in faith, unsure of what was coming next, precisely because we understood what was happening in the big picture. But how much harder is it, my friends, to step forward or even leap forward while having absolutely no real understanding of the rest of the picture? Oh how much more faith it takes to just go and obey, even though we don't understand at all!

I'm reminded again of one of my favorite verses, one I know I've written about here:

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going" Hebrews 11:8 (NIV).

Abraham obeyed and went. Abraham left Lot. Abraham wandered far. Abraham took his son, his heir, the subject of the promises He'd been given and walked him to the altar. I think it's a reasonable guess to say that, at least sometimes, he didn't understand. In fact, as I look through Hebrews 11, a chapter often called "The Halls of Faith," I am struck by how few of these heroes of the faith were likely to have understood much if anything about what God was calling them to do. But they did. They believed. They obeyed. They went. And later, they received these sacred places as their inheritances, metaphorical and physical.

I am going to be listening to myself...when I talk, when I write, and when I pray. I will be listening for the phrase, "I don't understand..." and I will be challenging myself to use those areas of life as a jumping off place for greater faith, greater trust and greater belief. And I believe He will reveal great inheritances from it. Thank You, Lord, for being who You are! You are great and holy and wise! I declare praise for Your holy name!

My Banner

Ann Spangler has written a wonderful daily reader called Praying the Names of God. In it, she writes about the many ways in which God is named in the Bible, and then expands on their meanings and what it can mean for us. One of my favorite names for God was one I learned while reading this book: Yahweh Nissi.

This means "The Lord is My Banner." It shows up only once, in Exodus 17:15, but it's one I love. There are many wonderful meditations about what this means, but for me, the way in which I primarily think of it is as a simple declaration. If you're a regular reader, you've figured out by now that I like to visualize things out of the Bible - it helps brings certain things really home to my heart. And this is another one. I imagine myself with a large, banner arcing overhead. The words and language on the banner aren't clear (or important) in my imagining. I suppose it probably says something like, "His." Plain and simple. The point is that it is an arc overhead, a protection in its very declaration. The Lord is my banner. The Lord is the Lord of my life. I am His, and each time the enemy passes by me, he cannot help by see that I belong to the God of all. Now, perhaps on some days that is simple fuel for Satan's fire; I do not know. What I do know is that, when I remember that, I find it easier to trust. And I can stand under the banner and know that there is power in even His name. He is a banner over me, and in Him, I stand confident.

Lord, I praise Your Holy name! Thank You for standing over me and for the privilege of declaring Your name over my life! Hallelujah, Lord! You are holy and wonderful, indeed!

Storytime

It's much later in the day than when I usually write my daily blog post. I have been waiting - all day - for some inspiration on a topic. But God is good, and late though it may be according to my schedule, God is always right on time.

Okay, that I am going to say one more time: God is always right on time.

Yes, friends, God is always right on time...

What I want to share today is a quick story. I had a friend a few years back who talked all the time about the conversations she had had with Jesus. She's day, "I was asking Jesus about this or that, and then He said blah blah blah back to me..." I'm pretty sure Jesus is far more articulate than "blah blah blah," but you get the idea. I realized, in time, that I was jealous. Jealous of her relationship, jealous of these seemingly constant conversations. So, I prayed about it.

"Lord," I prayed, "I wish I could have a relationship with you like that." And you want to know what His answer was? It makes me smile as I remember it not; God is often far more economical with His language than I seem to ever be. "You can," He said. Oh. Ohhhh.

So I started talking to God. I started talking in a way that was different than the ways I'd ever talked before. The difference, the real difference was that I expected Him to meet me there. And He did. And He does. Not always in the ways I think He will, and not always with the clear plainness of "blah blah blah." But, honestly and truly, He talks to me as much as I'll listen.

That's my story, and I am pretty sure He told me to share it with you. Goodnight, friends. It's time for me to get back to a talk I am having with an old Friend. Love to all.