Cranky

I realized a pattern this morning; every Monday, for the last few weeks, I've found myself in a downright cranky mood within 45 minutes of arriving at work. Hmm...

At first, I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I don't like being in a bad mood, and overall, I think of myself as a positive and upbeat person. However, Monday mornings have been uncharacteristically surly for me of late. And, although I have done a "good" job of keeping my outward manners and demeanor respectably kind and patient, I have not felt quite comfortable with that internal gruffness.

I started in a very natural place: why? Well, that's easy.

Work has been hard; time has been short, and weekends haven't afforded me as much time to catch up on sleep as I might like. However, with a little bit of a jolt, I realized that, truthfully, all of that didn't matter at all. These are all simple rationalizations and excuses, aren't they? I was grateful for the "a ha" moment, but I wasn't quite sure what to do with it.

Then, God chimed in with some insight.

I didn't get any earth-shattering revelation; it was just a simple question that formed in my mind. What right do I have to be moody, cranky and in a bad mood?

Now, my tendency might be to reference again the above list of "situations" that were frustrating my attempts at a peaceful morning. I realized, however, that they were all beside the point. Let's go to the Word for some authoritative input:

James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (NIV)

I think it's easy, especially in our culture, to forget that these directions are just as clear and real and serious as all the other promises and directives we quote from the Bible. I've written before about my own tendency to do "better enough." Truth is, there is no incremental affirmation here. Consider it pure joy. Not partial joy, not "better than you'd expect." Pure joy. Talk about a tall order!

So, I realized, through rebuke of the Holy Spirit (thank You!), that my bad mood was little more than self-indulgence and just enough arrogance to decide (in practice if not in consciousness) that I didn't really need to submit myself to that command. This is just a single example; we are to give thanks in all things. That is clear in the Word. There isn't a verse I've found yet about having a pity party. So, thankfully, my heart was humbled and my mood shifted. I love that about Jesus. I love that about the Bible. It's not just about eternity; it's about the here and now and about today. It's about a Monday morning. I'm so glad for the "interference." :)