I realized a pattern this morning; every Monday, for the last few weeks, I've found myself in a downright cranky mood within 45 minutes of arriving at work. Hmm...
At first, I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I don't like being in a bad mood, and overall, I think of myself as a positive and upbeat person. However, Monday mornings have been uncharacteristically surly for me of late. And, although I have done a "good" job of keeping my outward manners and demeanor respectably kind and patient, I have not felt quite comfortable with that internal gruffness.
I started in a very natural place: why? Well, that's easy.
Work has been hard; time has been short, and weekends haven't afforded me as much time to catch up on sleep as I might like. However, with a little bit of a jolt, I realized that, truthfully, all of that didn't matter at all. These are all simple rationalizations and excuses, aren't they? I was grateful for the "a ha" moment, but I wasn't quite sure what to do with it.
Then, God chimed in with some insight.
I didn't get any earth-shattering revelation; it was just a simple question that formed in my mind. What right do I have to be moody, cranky and in a bad mood?
Now, my tendency might be to reference again the above list of "situations" that were frustrating my attempts at a peaceful morning. I realized, however, that they were all beside the point. Let's go to the Word for some authoritative input:
James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (NIV)
I think it's easy, especially in our culture, to forget that these directions are just as clear and real and serious as all the other promises and directives we quote from the Bible. I've written before about my own tendency to do "better enough." Truth is, there is no incremental affirmation here. Consider it pure joy. Not partial joy, not "better than you'd expect." Pure joy. Talk about a tall order!
So, I realized, through rebuke of the Holy Spirit (thank You!), that my bad mood was little more than self-indulgence and just enough arrogance to decide (in practice if not in consciousness) that I didn't really need to submit myself to that command. This is just a single example; we are to give thanks in all things. That is clear in the Word. There isn't a verse I've found yet about having a pity party. So, thankfully, my heart was humbled and my mood shifted. I love that about Jesus. I love that about the Bible. It's not just about eternity; it's about the here and now and about today. It's about a Monday morning. I'm so glad for the "interference." :)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
In Need
I want to start this post by making clear one thing absolutely: I mess up a lot. I have a stubborn tendency toward self-absorption, a unconscious penchant for controlling behavior and a sometimes difficulty in even identifying what is going on in the midst of my own moods. I work hard at letting Jesus do His healing work inside me, and He has brought me a long way. And, truth be told, I have a long way to go.
Even so, from time to time, someone will comment on my attitude toward Jesus, and my dependency on God. Usually, they're praising me. And although I appreciate their sentiment, and am also grateful for and proud of the work Jesus has done in my heart (the evidence of which, His handiwork, being what is actually being praised), I always like to explain how I got to where I am today.
"It's not glamorous," I usually say.
I was just utterly convinced, given the way my life looked, and given the way I felt inside, that I needed Him. I started knowing only that I needed something. I was so miserably unhappy, and I felt so broken all the time. As my heart softened toward Him, I started to learn what He was really about, and I started to learn what and who He wanted to be and do in my life. And, although I couldn't have articulated it at the time, I absolutely knew I needed nothing more.
So, for me (and I suspect, for all of us), my submitted and adoring heart is born out of a true conviction of my need for a Savior. I think I learned some of my lessons the hard way; I can be pretty thick-headed. But thankfully no longer takes much pain or anxiety or discomfort for me to realize that my problem is about a need for Him. He is the only one that fulfills; He is the ONLY one that heals. For me, He is the Only One. And I am so grateful I found Him, so grateful I need Him. He is the One. The One and Only....
Even so, from time to time, someone will comment on my attitude toward Jesus, and my dependency on God. Usually, they're praising me. And although I appreciate their sentiment, and am also grateful for and proud of the work Jesus has done in my heart (the evidence of which, His handiwork, being what is actually being praised), I always like to explain how I got to where I am today.
"It's not glamorous," I usually say.
I was just utterly convinced, given the way my life looked, and given the way I felt inside, that I needed Him. I started knowing only that I needed something. I was so miserably unhappy, and I felt so broken all the time. As my heart softened toward Him, I started to learn what He was really about, and I started to learn what and who He wanted to be and do in my life. And, although I couldn't have articulated it at the time, I absolutely knew I needed nothing more.
So, for me (and I suspect, for all of us), my submitted and adoring heart is born out of a true conviction of my need for a Savior. I think I learned some of my lessons the hard way; I can be pretty thick-headed. But thankfully no longer takes much pain or anxiety or discomfort for me to realize that my problem is about a need for Him. He is the only one that fulfills; He is the ONLY one that heals. For me, He is the Only One. And I am so grateful I found Him, so grateful I need Him. He is the One. The One and Only....
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Distractions
It's easy to be distracted from "the point." I suppose when I say the point, I really mean the point of life here on earth. And there are probably a million valid ways to explain and/or decide what that real "point" is...but I think we may all be able to agree on one single baseline: we are here to do His will. We are here to bring pleasure to His heart, to glorify His name, and in short, to do His will. Okay, I realize that I just sort of named three things, but go with me on this if you will.
The point I'm trying to make is that it is very easy, at least for me, to lose sight of that focus. There are many noble pursuits, and many other goals that often fall in under this larger cover. But, at the end and at the beginning of the day, we have one goal: His goal.
And it is easy to get confused in the subtle differences between His priorities and the priorities of our communities: to be a "productive member of society" seems a worthy aim. I would hazard a guess, however, that His definition of productive is different than the world's. And, really, doesn't it all come down to what we're trying to produce.
I can get easy discouraged and sidetracked trying to balance out all the areas in which I need to improve. I need to be less selfish, surrender my will more, be kinder and more people-focused at work. I need to respond more graciously when I don't get my way; I need to interrupt other people less when they're speaking. And even that quick list just scratches the surface; there are also all the more specific situation-specific improvements needed. As you may be able to relate, it is easy for me to feel overwhelmed.
When, however, I stop and remember my real primary priority, it all seems easier...and simpler.
I do not doubt for a moment that there are many, many times in which I miss the mark; they are countless I am sure. What I have to believe is God's priority, however, is my intent... and when I clear away the noise and try to just bring pleasure to the heart of God, I trust that I do alright in however that plays out in the world.
The point I'm trying to make is that it is very easy, at least for me, to lose sight of that focus. There are many noble pursuits, and many other goals that often fall in under this larger cover. But, at the end and at the beginning of the day, we have one goal: His goal.
And it is easy to get confused in the subtle differences between His priorities and the priorities of our communities: to be a "productive member of society" seems a worthy aim. I would hazard a guess, however, that His definition of productive is different than the world's. And, really, doesn't it all come down to what we're trying to produce.
I can get easy discouraged and sidetracked trying to balance out all the areas in which I need to improve. I need to be less selfish, surrender my will more, be kinder and more people-focused at work. I need to respond more graciously when I don't get my way; I need to interrupt other people less when they're speaking. And even that quick list just scratches the surface; there are also all the more specific situation-specific improvements needed. As you may be able to relate, it is easy for me to feel overwhelmed.
When, however, I stop and remember my real primary priority, it all seems easier...and simpler.
I do not doubt for a moment that there are many, many times in which I miss the mark; they are countless I am sure. What I have to believe is God's priority, however, is my intent... and when I clear away the noise and try to just bring pleasure to the heart of God, I trust that I do alright in however that plays out in the world.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Salt & Light
I went into today with very clear direction from my Father: Be salt and light in the world today.
Well, like a lot of what I call "Christian jargon," it isn't immediately apparent to me what exactly that means.
What does that look like? What does it entail? How do I obey?
Well, in asking that, God is good and provided another answer in the puzzle pieces I'm always trying to fit together: Jesus is the light of the world.
What I heard in this today was that if I try to go be salt & light, and I try to go on my own power, my own volition, my own resolve and gumption, then I will fail. Jesus is the source. Jesus is not only the light of the world; to shine light, I must shine His light. Never leave home without it.
And Jesus is not only the light of the world, but also the one who shares with us the gift of living water. I know there are many levels of understanding regarding the urging to be salt in the world. My personal favorite is just a simple reminder that salt makes people thirsty. And when they drink of Him, they will never thirst again.
So, I went into my day today remember to let all shining be His job, and to just be a conduit, a prism that His light can reflect through. I also went in remembering that the way I live does have the ability to heighten another person's thirst for Truth, their thirst for Him. I can't do it without Him, but I can be intentional about asking Him to help and purposeful and willing in how I live out my day. There is no more worthy cause.
Well, like a lot of what I call "Christian jargon," it isn't immediately apparent to me what exactly that means.
What does that look like? What does it entail? How do I obey?
Well, in asking that, God is good and provided another answer in the puzzle pieces I'm always trying to fit together: Jesus is the light of the world.
What I heard in this today was that if I try to go be salt & light, and I try to go on my own power, my own volition, my own resolve and gumption, then I will fail. Jesus is the source. Jesus is not only the light of the world; to shine light, I must shine His light. Never leave home without it.
And Jesus is not only the light of the world, but also the one who shares with us the gift of living water. I know there are many levels of understanding regarding the urging to be salt in the world. My personal favorite is just a simple reminder that salt makes people thirsty. And when they drink of Him, they will never thirst again.
So, I went into my day today remember to let all shining be His job, and to just be a conduit, a prism that His light can reflect through. I also went in remembering that the way I live does have the ability to heighten another person's thirst for Truth, their thirst for Him. I can't do it without Him, but I can be intentional about asking Him to help and purposeful and willing in how I live out my day. There is no more worthy cause.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Remembering
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus... I forget that you do not work on my command.
I forget that you do not work on my timeline (instantaneously).
I forget that you are loving and good and on my side in ways that are far, far beyond my comprehension.
I forget that you are You.
And I forget that I am only me.
I forget that I am human.
I forget that I am not in charge.
I forget that I am not perfect.
I forget.
And then I remember.
I remember that Your Father-heart created the delicacy and sweetness of nature's babies.
I remember that You gave me Your Holy Word as a guide.
I remember that I am Yours.
I remember the freedom in submission.
I remember the freedom in surrender.
I remember the peace in bowing down.
I remember that You run the world in a way that is far better than I could ever imagine it.
I remember that You love me. And that Your love is active. It does things. YOU do things.
In my life.
In my world.
In me.
I remember who You are.
I remember who I am.
I remember, and I can do nothing more than thank You.
I forget that you do not work on my timeline (instantaneously).
I forget that you are loving and good and on my side in ways that are far, far beyond my comprehension.
I forget that you are You.
And I forget that I am only me.
I forget that I am human.
I forget that I am not in charge.
I forget that I am not perfect.
I forget.
And then I remember.
I remember that Your Father-heart created the delicacy and sweetness of nature's babies.
I remember that You gave me Your Holy Word as a guide.
I remember that I am Yours.
I remember the freedom in submission.
I remember the freedom in surrender.
I remember the peace in bowing down.
I remember that You run the world in a way that is far better than I could ever imagine it.
I remember that You love me. And that Your love is active. It does things. YOU do things.
In my life.
In my world.
In me.
I remember who You are.
I remember who I am.
I remember, and I can do nothing more than thank You.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Knowing the Author
It is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful practice to spend time reading the Bible. The Bible tells us to let this living and active word live inside of us; it tells us that it's living and active.
At the same time, when I read this verse tonight, I have to admit I felt a slight correction in my spirit:
You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.
John 5:39-40 (NIV)
I don't know why; maybe it's because of my task-oriented nature, but I sometimes find it easier to spend time reading the Bible than to just spend time in communion with my Lord. Thankfully, I know that eternal life comes through Jesus, not through reading the Bible.... And on that note, it is as plain as can be that what I'm supposed to do is to come to Him. And I have definitely found that my life is better the more I come. So, for tonight, I'm done reading and am going to go have a little chill time with my Savior. I'm thankful to remember how important that alone is!
At the same time, when I read this verse tonight, I have to admit I felt a slight correction in my spirit:
You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.
John 5:39-40 (NIV)
I don't know why; maybe it's because of my task-oriented nature, but I sometimes find it easier to spend time reading the Bible than to just spend time in communion with my Lord. Thankfully, I know that eternal life comes through Jesus, not through reading the Bible.... And on that note, it is as plain as can be that what I'm supposed to do is to come to Him. And I have definitely found that my life is better the more I come. So, for tonight, I'm done reading and am going to go have a little chill time with my Savior. I'm thankful to remember how important that alone is!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Freedom / A Life of Victory
Yesterday's post was about remembering to stay in the fight against the enemy. Today's post is along a similar theme. This has been laid heavy on my heart the last few days; I hope you can take something from it.
Galatians 5:1 says this: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (NIV)
This is one of my favorite verses, and I see direct application to our engagement with the enemy. I'm glad this verse doesn't tell me I have to take up arms and, on my own power, defeat the enemy. Thank You, God, that his defeat has already occurred and been assured by Jesus!
There are a few very important points conveyed in this single verse:
1) I am already set free. Christ paid that price, did that work in totality and set me free. Past tense.
2) It is possible for me to be again weighed down by the slavery known to me before salvation. Otherwise, there would be no need to warn us to stand firm.
3) It is also possible for me to resist, to "stand firm" and NOT be again taken captive by the adversary.
I started to talk about "living victoriously" yesterday. I'm not a big fan of Christian lingo, but there is also usually a reason why certain phrases have become so popular; they're usually pivotal concepts, and this one is no different. What I'm reminded of is the secular concept of battle. My memory is clearly not an exhaustive database of information, but as I sit here, I can't think of any battle fought that wasn't over some sort of territory: physical land, ideological ground or emotional territory... in a way, they're all the same. And the metaphor in the Galatians verse to being burdened by a yoke of slavery is a powerful one; imagine the word picture.
I know I have felt the weight of my own burdens of slavery in many times of my life. But here's the thing... the point is to regain ground, to stand on top of the place which is rightfully ours, given to us by God. Bequeathed to His chosen people by the Creator of all. And, for me, the most important place to get territorial is in my own heart and mind. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it is "impossible to please God" without faith. So, I have to believe Him - inside my very gut - if I'm going to please Him. And I think it's a fair assumption to say that the things that please Him are the very foundation of this "victorious living" all the Jesus-folk talk about. ;)
Let's stand firm, friends. We stand upon the rock; there could be no greater foundation!
Galatians 5:1 says this: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (NIV)
This is one of my favorite verses, and I see direct application to our engagement with the enemy. I'm glad this verse doesn't tell me I have to take up arms and, on my own power, defeat the enemy. Thank You, God, that his defeat has already occurred and been assured by Jesus!
There are a few very important points conveyed in this single verse:
1) I am already set free. Christ paid that price, did that work in totality and set me free. Past tense.
2) It is possible for me to be again weighed down by the slavery known to me before salvation. Otherwise, there would be no need to warn us to stand firm.
3) It is also possible for me to resist, to "stand firm" and NOT be again taken captive by the adversary.
I started to talk about "living victoriously" yesterday. I'm not a big fan of Christian lingo, but there is also usually a reason why certain phrases have become so popular; they're usually pivotal concepts, and this one is no different. What I'm reminded of is the secular concept of battle. My memory is clearly not an exhaustive database of information, but as I sit here, I can't think of any battle fought that wasn't over some sort of territory: physical land, ideological ground or emotional territory... in a way, they're all the same. And the metaphor in the Galatians verse to being burdened by a yoke of slavery is a powerful one; imagine the word picture.
I know I have felt the weight of my own burdens of slavery in many times of my life. But here's the thing... the point is to regain ground, to stand on top of the place which is rightfully ours, given to us by God. Bequeathed to His chosen people by the Creator of all. And, for me, the most important place to get territorial is in my own heart and mind. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it is "impossible to please God" without faith. So, I have to believe Him - inside my very gut - if I'm going to please Him. And I think it's a fair assumption to say that the things that please Him are the very foundation of this "victorious living" all the Jesus-folk talk about. ;)
Let's stand firm, friends. We stand upon the rock; there could be no greater foundation!
Monday, June 22, 2009
War
I've had several incidents lately - some particular related to my own inner-journey, and others in the lives of friends - that have convinced me of the need for an important reminder.
We are at war. We have an enemy, an adversary, whose primary aim is to seek, kill and destroy (John 10:10). The enemy has been a murderer from the beginning. He is the father of lies, a liar (John 8:44). And he is hunting for you.
In my experience, there are the more obvious lies he tells... that I am unloved, not worthy, not truly forgiven, forgotten by God, and more... and although, once consciously recognized, I am able to identify these plainly as deception, I do not mean to say that always and immediately aware of the fact that this inner dialogue is even going on. I must stay aware of the fact that I am in a battle.
Beth Moore said something in one of her Bible studies that has stuck with me: The Devil is standing on your promised land in defiance.
He stands in the places that God has intended for us, for His people, and he tries to lay claim over them. His tactics are subtle sometimes. He may not tell us that no good thing is in our future; he may, however, tell us that God's version of "good" doesn't match ours. Now, this can and sometimes is true. But if the end result is harm, damage or hurt for us, then that is NOT from God.
God is for us (Psalm 56:9). He has plans for us that do not include harm; His desire is to give us a hope and a future of prosperity (Jeremiah 29:11). His gifts for us are good gifts (Matthew 7:11), and if when you play it through in your mind, the "gifts" you think He's giving you bring with them harm, doubt of God's love or separation from Him, know that you may be embracing a lie of the enemy.
We must be on guard, friends. There is no need to fear; for He has overcome the devil (John 16:33). There is need, however, for diligence, for awareness and for preparation. I don't know about you, but I am easily caught unawares. The more I let the Word dwell in me richly (Colossians 3:16) and the more I abide in Christ, the more "automatic" my preparation is. That's by His power, and by His grace, I'm sure. But I'm equally sure that I must remain aware of the fact that I am constantly on the radar of my adversary, and that in order to continue to live in victory, I have to be intentional about it. Living in victory isn't just about having a good day; it's about victory in the battle, victory in the war already won. Don't lose sight of that.
Remember, there are many commands in the Bible, all for our benefit and His glory. Here's an important one: "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:11 (NIV)
We are at war. We have an enemy, an adversary, whose primary aim is to seek, kill and destroy (John 10:10). The enemy has been a murderer from the beginning. He is the father of lies, a liar (John 8:44). And he is hunting for you.
In my experience, there are the more obvious lies he tells... that I am unloved, not worthy, not truly forgiven, forgotten by God, and more... and although, once consciously recognized, I am able to identify these plainly as deception, I do not mean to say that always and immediately aware of the fact that this inner dialogue is even going on. I must stay aware of the fact that I am in a battle.
Beth Moore said something in one of her Bible studies that has stuck with me: The Devil is standing on your promised land in defiance.
He stands in the places that God has intended for us, for His people, and he tries to lay claim over them. His tactics are subtle sometimes. He may not tell us that no good thing is in our future; he may, however, tell us that God's version of "good" doesn't match ours. Now, this can and sometimes is true. But if the end result is harm, damage or hurt for us, then that is NOT from God.
God is for us (Psalm 56:9). He has plans for us that do not include harm; His desire is to give us a hope and a future of prosperity (Jeremiah 29:11). His gifts for us are good gifts (Matthew 7:11), and if when you play it through in your mind, the "gifts" you think He's giving you bring with them harm, doubt of God's love or separation from Him, know that you may be embracing a lie of the enemy.
We must be on guard, friends. There is no need to fear; for He has overcome the devil (John 16:33). There is need, however, for diligence, for awareness and for preparation. I don't know about you, but I am easily caught unawares. The more I let the Word dwell in me richly (Colossians 3:16) and the more I abide in Christ, the more "automatic" my preparation is. That's by His power, and by His grace, I'm sure. But I'm equally sure that I must remain aware of the fact that I am constantly on the radar of my adversary, and that in order to continue to live in victory, I have to be intentional about it. Living in victory isn't just about having a good day; it's about victory in the battle, victory in the war already won. Don't lose sight of that.
Remember, there are many commands in the Bible, all for our benefit and His glory. Here's an important one: "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:11 (NIV)
Sunday, June 21, 2009
True Story
A coworker of mine died earlier this week. I didn't know him in a way beyond that "friendly helpful coworker" way, but he was a great guy. There wasn't a question in mind about whether or not to attend his service. So, yesterday afternoon, I - and probably 150 of my coworkers - did just that.
I went with a group of girlfriends from work. We were among some of the first people to get there. The front row on the left was where his small family sat; it consisted of his mother, her husband, and his sister and the sister's family. My coworker hadn't had a family of his own. The rest of the room was empty save a few rows with people I recognized from work. As we sat waiting for the service to begin, I watched people trickle into the room. A few moments before the service started, I remarked to a friend that I thought everyone there (so far) was from work...except his family, the 6 of them sitting together on one side of the front row.
When it was time to begin, the reverend doing the service stopped and asked the family to do something he said he didn't usually do. He asked them to stand up, turn around and look at how many people were in the room. He commented that he knew they'd been unsure of how many people to expect. As they looked (and we all cried), so did I. The room was absolutely full. There were people standing in the back, and they'd opened up that side room usually reserved for family to incoming guests. The place was packed. And yes, as we looked around the room, it was true: everyone, everyone was someone who had known the deceased from work. Now there were plenty of folks who no longer worked at our company; there were some who'd come from other locations, a six hour drive away, and some who hadn't worked there in close to a decade. But they all were here to honor this man.
I admit that my heart was saddened by the thought that everyone there was from work. I'd said of my coworker friend that I didn't know much about his life outside of work. He loved his sister; I knew that. And he was close to her daughters. I knew that too. But that was really about it. I told a friend I'd come with, "You know, I love you guys, but if the only people who showed up to my funeral were from work, I think that would be really sad." And in the moment, I meant it.
Now, in my own personal life, that would be really sad...because I spend a lot of time with folks I know from outside of work. But later, I realized, maybe he just lived his life differently than I live mine. Neither better than the other, just different. By the end of the service, after listening to story after story of our friend's kindness and always-willing positive attitude (he really was one of those guys; he always was friendly and smiling), I realized something else. He was investing in the people we work with... and not just a few of us. All of us. I told my boyfriend later, "I doubt that many people from work would come to my funeral if I died today." There isn't self-pity or self-condemnation in that revelation for me. There is, however, an admonition and a lesson. And, yes, maybe even some inspiration.
There were a number of people who've remarked this week that our friend at work didn't just breeze by, smile and say hi. He stopped. He asked how you were, and - most revolutionary of all - he listened. I admit...while I'm very friendly at work, and always smile and say hi, there aren't very many people with whom I really take the time to stop, to ask, to engage and to listen. My fleshly human self wants to make excuses for this right away: "that's just not my personality," and the oh-so-tired "I'm too busy for that during the work day." Those are just excuses, justifications for not putting the investment of myself into those around whom I spend a great number of hours each week.
You know, I don't know if my friend was a believer or not. His service was performed by a reverend, and the music was gospel music. And the end, we prayed together the Lord's prayer. But his own personal faith wasn't discussed. What was discussed in abundance, however, was his heart. And regardless of his motivation or inspiration, I know there is something there for me to learn. Jesus didn't show up in our lives to breeze by, smile and politely say good morning. He was and is 100% committed to ever fiber of our beings as we live through our days. My coworker friend's life may not have extended into hundreds of places beyond the walls of our office...but his heart extended far into the lives of the hundreds of people in our building. And that, I've seen, means something very important. That, I think, gives a lesson of its own. I'm grateful that, even in his passing, I have been able to learn more about this man, and learn from his example. I haven't been left untouched by him; I pray that, as I take to heart these lessons, a coworker will have the same to say about me someday.
God bless. And be blessed so you can be a blessing. That's really what it's all about.
I went with a group of girlfriends from work. We were among some of the first people to get there. The front row on the left was where his small family sat; it consisted of his mother, her husband, and his sister and the sister's family. My coworker hadn't had a family of his own. The rest of the room was empty save a few rows with people I recognized from work. As we sat waiting for the service to begin, I watched people trickle into the room. A few moments before the service started, I remarked to a friend that I thought everyone there (so far) was from work...except his family, the 6 of them sitting together on one side of the front row.
When it was time to begin, the reverend doing the service stopped and asked the family to do something he said he didn't usually do. He asked them to stand up, turn around and look at how many people were in the room. He commented that he knew they'd been unsure of how many people to expect. As they looked (and we all cried), so did I. The room was absolutely full. There were people standing in the back, and they'd opened up that side room usually reserved for family to incoming guests. The place was packed. And yes, as we looked around the room, it was true: everyone, everyone was someone who had known the deceased from work. Now there were plenty of folks who no longer worked at our company; there were some who'd come from other locations, a six hour drive away, and some who hadn't worked there in close to a decade. But they all were here to honor this man.
I admit that my heart was saddened by the thought that everyone there was from work. I'd said of my coworker friend that I didn't know much about his life outside of work. He loved his sister; I knew that. And he was close to her daughters. I knew that too. But that was really about it. I told a friend I'd come with, "You know, I love you guys, but if the only people who showed up to my funeral were from work, I think that would be really sad." And in the moment, I meant it.
Now, in my own personal life, that would be really sad...because I spend a lot of time with folks I know from outside of work. But later, I realized, maybe he just lived his life differently than I live mine. Neither better than the other, just different. By the end of the service, after listening to story after story of our friend's kindness and always-willing positive attitude (he really was one of those guys; he always was friendly and smiling), I realized something else. He was investing in the people we work with... and not just a few of us. All of us. I told my boyfriend later, "I doubt that many people from work would come to my funeral if I died today." There isn't self-pity or self-condemnation in that revelation for me. There is, however, an admonition and a lesson. And, yes, maybe even some inspiration.
There were a number of people who've remarked this week that our friend at work didn't just breeze by, smile and say hi. He stopped. He asked how you were, and - most revolutionary of all - he listened. I admit...while I'm very friendly at work, and always smile and say hi, there aren't very many people with whom I really take the time to stop, to ask, to engage and to listen. My fleshly human self wants to make excuses for this right away: "that's just not my personality," and the oh-so-tired "I'm too busy for that during the work day." Those are just excuses, justifications for not putting the investment of myself into those around whom I spend a great number of hours each week.
You know, I don't know if my friend was a believer or not. His service was performed by a reverend, and the music was gospel music. And the end, we prayed together the Lord's prayer. But his own personal faith wasn't discussed. What was discussed in abundance, however, was his heart. And regardless of his motivation or inspiration, I know there is something there for me to learn. Jesus didn't show up in our lives to breeze by, smile and politely say good morning. He was and is 100% committed to ever fiber of our beings as we live through our days. My coworker friend's life may not have extended into hundreds of places beyond the walls of our office...but his heart extended far into the lives of the hundreds of people in our building. And that, I've seen, means something very important. That, I think, gives a lesson of its own. I'm grateful that, even in his passing, I have been able to learn more about this man, and learn from his example. I haven't been left untouched by him; I pray that, as I take to heart these lessons, a coworker will have the same to say about me someday.
God bless. And be blessed so you can be a blessing. That's really what it's all about.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Real Relationship
I was writing about this topic for another purpose, and thought it might be something worthwhile to share here.
My relationship with God is a real relationship.
Okay, great...but what does that mean? It means that sometimes there are times when I am practically googly eyes over Him. It means there are times when I am frustrated with Him, annoyed with Him or even angry at Him. It also means that there are times when I just like hanging out with Him, and don't have strong feelings one way or another. In truth, the frequency of each of these feelings is pretty similar to the other major relationships in my life.
And just like those relationships - my boyfriend, my close friends, my parents, etc - when I don't make time to talk with Him or even just be with Him, I feel less close to Him. And when I put a concerted effort into making time for quality time with God, and create space in my mind and heart for Him, we get closer. I learn more about Him; I learn to love Him more, and appreciate Him more for who He is.
We are blessed to have not only the Bible as a written record of His words, but also the Holy Spirit to bring us the opportunity for personal connection. Don't waste the opportunity. Like any relationship, you have to participate. But it's well worth it!
My relationship with God is a real relationship.
Okay, great...but what does that mean? It means that sometimes there are times when I am practically googly eyes over Him. It means there are times when I am frustrated with Him, annoyed with Him or even angry at Him. It also means that there are times when I just like hanging out with Him, and don't have strong feelings one way or another. In truth, the frequency of each of these feelings is pretty similar to the other major relationships in my life.
And just like those relationships - my boyfriend, my close friends, my parents, etc - when I don't make time to talk with Him or even just be with Him, I feel less close to Him. And when I put a concerted effort into making time for quality time with God, and create space in my mind and heart for Him, we get closer. I learn more about Him; I learn to love Him more, and appreciate Him more for who He is.
We are blessed to have not only the Bible as a written record of His words, but also the Holy Spirit to bring us the opportunity for personal connection. Don't waste the opportunity. Like any relationship, you have to participate. But it's well worth it!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Stillness
I suspect that I have already written on this topic, perhaps multiple times. I'll warn you now that it's likely I'll continue to write on it periodically. It just happens to be a reminder I need every now & then...and when I get it, it strikes me. And that's just the thing I like to write about here. :)
Anyway, onto the order of business: Psalm 46:10 starts with a very familiar phrase:
"Be still, and know that I am God..."
I love this reminder. Sometimes I go through and mentally emphasize individual words. It often has varying impact on my heart that way...
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God.
For me, each of those are good messages to hear again and again. The verse also goes on to say more, though. And this verse's much less well-known half gives me new insight into the first part of the verse:
"...I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
In light of this context, I have to say I hear most loudly the version that emphasizes God. And what that means, and who He is are the natural leads-in to a proclamation that He will be exalted among all nations and on the earth.
For me, I like to remember that part while I'm also remembering the importance of being still. And the importance of knowing, while I'm at it. I just have to remember that I know. And I can be truly still not just as a random counterpart to the fact that He is God, but because He is God. Without Him being worthy of exaltation in all nations and throughout the entire earth, stillness would not come simply from knowing who He is. Thankfully, He is who He says He is. And in that, there is true peace.
Anyway, onto the order of business: Psalm 46:10 starts with a very familiar phrase:
"Be still, and know that I am God..."
I love this reminder. Sometimes I go through and mentally emphasize individual words. It often has varying impact on my heart that way...
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God.
For me, each of those are good messages to hear again and again. The verse also goes on to say more, though. And this verse's much less well-known half gives me new insight into the first part of the verse:
"...I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
In light of this context, I have to say I hear most loudly the version that emphasizes God. And what that means, and who He is are the natural leads-in to a proclamation that He will be exalted among all nations and on the earth.
For me, I like to remember that part while I'm also remembering the importance of being still. And the importance of knowing, while I'm at it. I just have to remember that I know. And I can be truly still not just as a random counterpart to the fact that He is God, but because He is God. Without Him being worthy of exaltation in all nations and throughout the entire earth, stillness would not come simply from knowing who He is. Thankfully, He is who He says He is. And in that, there is true peace.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Be Unreasonable
I find myself so often thinking about what's practical. In certain areas of my life, I'm a pragmatist to the core. In fact, I was once teased for praying for efficiency for a family I knew. It's true; I value efficiency, practicality and realistic expectations - perhaps more than some. But, I pray that never stops me from letting God be God.
"So he said to me, 'This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.' Zechariah 4:6 (NIV)
Oh yeah! That's the reminder I need sometimes.... Things in this world (and beyond) are accomplished not by might nor by power, but by HIS Spirit. Hallelujah, right?
So, when you find yourself thinking about how much money you have to raise for a mission trip, how much energy you need to reserve for "ample" quiet time (and the conflict with the needs of your children) or the challenging task of resolving a particularly tough conflict with your spouse, remember that You don't go alone...or at least you don't have to. Bring Him with you.
Every now and then, on the way to someplace that I'm dreading, I like to imagine Jesus sitting in the passenger seat of my car next to me. We'll chat a bit about the day/event ahead, and I'll ask Him to just come and stay with me. I'll wander the workday/party/whatever and periodically imagine Him sitting in the chair next to me, or standing by my side in the hallway. It might sound silly, but for me, it's been part of retraining my brain.
I don't live my power, nor by might. It is by His Spirit that I have any chance at all. And I've seen first hand that, with Him, I can do a million things I never believed I'd be able to do at all. Bring Him along. Expect His Spirit to show up. Trust in His power. And leap! He won't let you fall...!
"So he said to me, 'This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.' Zechariah 4:6 (NIV)
Oh yeah! That's the reminder I need sometimes.... Things in this world (and beyond) are accomplished not by might nor by power, but by HIS Spirit. Hallelujah, right?
So, when you find yourself thinking about how much money you have to raise for a mission trip, how much energy you need to reserve for "ample" quiet time (and the conflict with the needs of your children) or the challenging task of resolving a particularly tough conflict with your spouse, remember that You don't go alone...or at least you don't have to. Bring Him with you.
Every now and then, on the way to someplace that I'm dreading, I like to imagine Jesus sitting in the passenger seat of my car next to me. We'll chat a bit about the day/event ahead, and I'll ask Him to just come and stay with me. I'll wander the workday/party/whatever and periodically imagine Him sitting in the chair next to me, or standing by my side in the hallway. It might sound silly, but for me, it's been part of retraining my brain.
I don't live my power, nor by might. It is by His Spirit that I have any chance at all. And I've seen first hand that, with Him, I can do a million things I never believed I'd be able to do at all. Bring Him along. Expect His Spirit to show up. Trust in His power. And leap! He won't let you fall...!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Inclined to Me
I felt a few days ago the Lord prompt me to spend some quality time with the 40th Psalm. So, I've been reading it, and quite frankly, hadn't found much that caught my attention... until today.
The first verse of the Psalm had been the one that, so far, had spoken to me most. I've been writing about some of the troubles I've had with patience lately, so this may not come as a surprise to any regular readers. Here is the verse from the NIV, the translation I've been reading:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalms 40:1 (NIV)
Well, tonight, I decided to get serious and pulled out some more heavy-duty study materials. Then I read the verse for the first time in the KJV:
"I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry." Psalms 40:1 (KJV)
Well, for any who are familiar with some of my study habits, you may be able to predict what jumped out at me. The difference between the Lord "turning to" and "inclining unto" caught my attention, and I started to dig into the original language.
And what a treasure I found!
The word translated as both turned and inclined is a relatively common word in the Bible; it appears 215 in the Old Testament. The first rough translation of the word is to stretch out. It implies stretching out toward or extending in the direction of something or, in this case, someone. Here is part of what I found in Vine's Expository Dictionary: "This is a figure of God's active, sovereign, and mighty involvement in the affairs of men. So this phrase means "to stretch out" something until it reaches a goal." I don't know about you, but I love that word picture!
When God told Moses to stretch out his staff over Egypt, this was the same word. For me, that association brings a new sense of power. I think I sensed in the English, a gentle nurturing turn. And that is also implied in the language, a turning toward without a specific thing or person to reach...just a coming closer (metaphorically). But when you add in some of the additional context, it also shows that this word is meant to convey power and authority...His active presence.
With this context, it makes perfect sense that the following two verses talk about God lifting the Psalmist from the mire and giving him such a firm foundation that he is prompted into songs of praise! The second and third verse:
"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." Psalms 40:2-3 (NIV)
Then, for me, the fourth verse really hits it home:
"Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods." Psalms 40:4 (NIV)
In recent years, I have had many false gods in my life exposed: relationship, priorities, activities, things, roles and personae that weren't inherently bad in and of themselves, but were sin as I let them edge into a space between my heart and the Lord. I have spent years and years weeding my garden of trust. I am still on a journey to keep the soil completely clear of anything but His amazing Spirit. The more He IS my trust, the more life is what, deep down, I'd always thought it was "supposed to" be, and what I'd tried to make it through so many false idols of my past.
I am SO grateful for a God who does not only turn to give me a slight bit of attention in my times of trial, but who also will extend Himself toward me to accomplish His purposes in my life and heart. Love is an action, and His powerful action is love exemplified and demonstrated in a way my mind can barely begin to contain! What a wonderful thing!
The first verse of the Psalm had been the one that, so far, had spoken to me most. I've been writing about some of the troubles I've had with patience lately, so this may not come as a surprise to any regular readers. Here is the verse from the NIV, the translation I've been reading:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalms 40:1 (NIV)
Well, tonight, I decided to get serious and pulled out some more heavy-duty study materials. Then I read the verse for the first time in the KJV:
"I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry." Psalms 40:1 (KJV)
Well, for any who are familiar with some of my study habits, you may be able to predict what jumped out at me. The difference between the Lord "turning to" and "inclining unto" caught my attention, and I started to dig into the original language.
And what a treasure I found!
The word translated as both turned and inclined is a relatively common word in the Bible; it appears 215 in the Old Testament. The first rough translation of the word is to stretch out. It implies stretching out toward or extending in the direction of something or, in this case, someone. Here is part of what I found in Vine's Expository Dictionary: "This is a figure of God's active, sovereign, and mighty involvement in the affairs of men. So this phrase means "to stretch out" something until it reaches a goal." I don't know about you, but I love that word picture!
When God told Moses to stretch out his staff over Egypt, this was the same word. For me, that association brings a new sense of power. I think I sensed in the English, a gentle nurturing turn. And that is also implied in the language, a turning toward without a specific thing or person to reach...just a coming closer (metaphorically). But when you add in some of the additional context, it also shows that this word is meant to convey power and authority...His active presence.
With this context, it makes perfect sense that the following two verses talk about God lifting the Psalmist from the mire and giving him such a firm foundation that he is prompted into songs of praise! The second and third verse:
"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." Psalms 40:2-3 (NIV)
Then, for me, the fourth verse really hits it home:
"Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods." Psalms 40:4 (NIV)
In recent years, I have had many false gods in my life exposed: relationship, priorities, activities, things, roles and personae that weren't inherently bad in and of themselves, but were sin as I let them edge into a space between my heart and the Lord. I have spent years and years weeding my garden of trust. I am still on a journey to keep the soil completely clear of anything but His amazing Spirit. The more He IS my trust, the more life is what, deep down, I'd always thought it was "supposed to" be, and what I'd tried to make it through so many false idols of my past.
I am SO grateful for a God who does not only turn to give me a slight bit of attention in my times of trial, but who also will extend Himself toward me to accomplish His purposes in my life and heart. Love is an action, and His powerful action is love exemplified and demonstrated in a way my mind can barely begin to contain! What a wonderful thing!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Commitment
There's a saying I once heard that I think is very wise, and very true; it goes like this:
Commitment isn't waking up and feeling like it every day; commitment is waking up and doing it, even on the days when you don't feel like it at all.
I remind myself of this with some regularity, especially when it comes to obedience and my relationship with Jesus. I'm sure we've all experienced times where God's presence in our lives feels so huge and poignant. There are days when just waking up and breathing in makes me feel more alive in Him and closer to His heart.
Likewise, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced days (or longer periods) where it doesn't feel like He's close at all. In fact, I have times during which even prayer times and worship times feel mostly like going through the motions.
In light of that, I am so grateful that my feelings are far from an absolute representation of truth. God's word tells me that He is always with me, and that when I draw near to Him, He draws near to me. I know His truth that He is working in me, and that His word is alive and active in me, regardless of whether or not I feel it. In turn, I take great comfort in knowing, too, that my obedience and my worship are pleasing to Him, regardless of how I feel. I may be sincere in my praise, and that matters most. I may not have an emotional swell of gratitude right in the moment, and that, I've learned, is far less important.
So, I commit this day to You, oh Lord. I will be grateful and joyful if my emotions feel your presence, and feel my connection to You throughout my waking hours. I admit, sometimes, that helps me "feel like it." However, Lord, I will sing Your praises and obey Your leading regardless of how I feel, and I thank You that You are with me through all. You are good, Lord! Thank You for the opportunity to live in service to You today!
Commitment isn't waking up and feeling like it every day; commitment is waking up and doing it, even on the days when you don't feel like it at all.
I remind myself of this with some regularity, especially when it comes to obedience and my relationship with Jesus. I'm sure we've all experienced times where God's presence in our lives feels so huge and poignant. There are days when just waking up and breathing in makes me feel more alive in Him and closer to His heart.
Likewise, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced days (or longer periods) where it doesn't feel like He's close at all. In fact, I have times during which even prayer times and worship times feel mostly like going through the motions.
In light of that, I am so grateful that my feelings are far from an absolute representation of truth. God's word tells me that He is always with me, and that when I draw near to Him, He draws near to me. I know His truth that He is working in me, and that His word is alive and active in me, regardless of whether or not I feel it. In turn, I take great comfort in knowing, too, that my obedience and my worship are pleasing to Him, regardless of how I feel. I may be sincere in my praise, and that matters most. I may not have an emotional swell of gratitude right in the moment, and that, I've learned, is far less important.
So, I commit this day to You, oh Lord. I will be grateful and joyful if my emotions feel your presence, and feel my connection to You throughout my waking hours. I admit, sometimes, that helps me "feel like it." However, Lord, I will sing Your praises and obey Your leading regardless of how I feel, and I thank You that You are with me through all. You are good, Lord! Thank You for the opportunity to live in service to You today!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
My Own Best Witness
I was talking with a couple friends tonight, and sharing about some frustrations I'd had... mostly with myself. I was feeling myself get repeatedly frustrated with God's plan and approach in an area of my life. I'm not sure which thing has been more bothersome: His plan and it's non-conformity to my plan, or the fact that my feelings have so much reflected that feeling and lack of inner-yield to Him.
Thankfully, one of my friends reminded me of a post I wrote a few months ago. The link is here: bicycle built for two.
It's a long one, from back in March, but it happens to be one of my personal favorites. And in it, I talk about learning that God's route from "here" to "there" is always, always, always better than my route... and I explore the journey and the lessons of learning to let Him drive...and to let Him drive with peace in my heart.
As soon as she started to brought it up to me, I got tears in my eyes. Not only because her point was so right-on, but I think also because I felt a wave of humility. Jesus has already taught me this lesson, several times. And I need to re-learn it again and again...and not only is He willing to teach me, but He is also willing to let my own memories, and my own past be a part of the teaching.
To those who are just beginning their pursuit of healing in Jesus, I have said before that there is no magic power in having been at this for more time than someone else. There is, however, one advantage a soul seasoning in pursuit of Him may have over a newbie. What is that? Well, we get to know from our own experience that God IS who He says He is, and that He does what He says He'll do. We get to not only hear from others and trust in faith that His word is absolute truth and that His promises are real and trustworthy; we also have the history of our own healing to provide to ourselves as proof. I don't know anyone that has genuinely pursued the Lord and been left without numerous stories of His amazing grace and goodness.
It is a gift that He lavishes His love and mercy on us the way He does; it's an amazing kindness that He lets us tell our own stories again and again as reminders. The Lord knows what this heart needs, and I will be forever grateful at the wonderful and wondrous ways in which He provides.
"The Lord is my shepherd. I have all that I need." Psalm 23:1 (NLT)
Thankfully, one of my friends reminded me of a post I wrote a few months ago. The link is here: bicycle built for two.
It's a long one, from back in March, but it happens to be one of my personal favorites. And in it, I talk about learning that God's route from "here" to "there" is always, always, always better than my route... and I explore the journey and the lessons of learning to let Him drive...and to let Him drive with peace in my heart.
As soon as she started to brought it up to me, I got tears in my eyes. Not only because her point was so right-on, but I think also because I felt a wave of humility. Jesus has already taught me this lesson, several times. And I need to re-learn it again and again...and not only is He willing to teach me, but He is also willing to let my own memories, and my own past be a part of the teaching.
To those who are just beginning their pursuit of healing in Jesus, I have said before that there is no magic power in having been at this for more time than someone else. There is, however, one advantage a soul seasoning in pursuit of Him may have over a newbie. What is that? Well, we get to know from our own experience that God IS who He says He is, and that He does what He says He'll do. We get to not only hear from others and trust in faith that His word is absolute truth and that His promises are real and trustworthy; we also have the history of our own healing to provide to ourselves as proof. I don't know anyone that has genuinely pursued the Lord and been left without numerous stories of His amazing grace and goodness.
It is a gift that He lavishes His love and mercy on us the way He does; it's an amazing kindness that He lets us tell our own stories again and again as reminders. The Lord knows what this heart needs, and I will be forever grateful at the wonderful and wondrous ways in which He provides.
"The Lord is my shepherd. I have all that I need." Psalm 23:1 (NLT)
Friday, June 12, 2009
Shedding the Old Man
I listened to a teaching last night about water baptism... the speaking pastor did a great job explaining and giving new insight into the symbolic and obedient act of baptism. One of the parallels he used in his description really stuck with me.
He talked about full water (submersion) baptism, and how when we are dunked under the surface of the water, it represents putting to death our "old man," which we are enabled to do because of the sacrifice of death made by Jesus. Then, as we rise up again from the water, we're affirming the life of Christ within us, and embracing in faith the resurrection of a new self within our hearts. This is the putting on of the new man.
It got me thinking about some of the things that I've done over the years as symbolic gestures. Shortly after I recommitted my life to Christ as an adult, I had a little ceramic jar that I used as part of my daily quiet-time ritual. When I had things that were on my mind and weighing on my heart, I had a really hard time giving them over to God (I still find this tough to do sometimes!). So, as they came up in prayer or meditation, I'd scribble them down on a little piece of paper, ball them up and stick them in the ceramic jar. That part of it was meant to be a physical action that re-enforced me giving up the issue. Then, when I was done with my prayer time, I'd burn whatever was in the jar that day. It symbolized putting those worries on God's to-do list, and that they were now gone from mine.
It might sound silly, but for me, it worked. I had names and topics I had to put into that jar probably hundreds of times, but eventually, they'd fall off my radar. And, more importantly, I was taking actions in faith that I could surrender my cares to Him and that I could trust Him to deal with them.
So, when I think about shedding the old man, I like the idea of water baptism, full submersion - fully apart from the fact that it's something Jesus wants us to do. Like I wrote about yesterday, obedience seems to have an infinite number of "bonus" outcomes. God is so great like that; His creative mind and masterful plan of creation amazes me again and again. I love that.
He talked about full water (submersion) baptism, and how when we are dunked under the surface of the water, it represents putting to death our "old man," which we are enabled to do because of the sacrifice of death made by Jesus. Then, as we rise up again from the water, we're affirming the life of Christ within us, and embracing in faith the resurrection of a new self within our hearts. This is the putting on of the new man.
It got me thinking about some of the things that I've done over the years as symbolic gestures. Shortly after I recommitted my life to Christ as an adult, I had a little ceramic jar that I used as part of my daily quiet-time ritual. When I had things that were on my mind and weighing on my heart, I had a really hard time giving them over to God (I still find this tough to do sometimes!). So, as they came up in prayer or meditation, I'd scribble them down on a little piece of paper, ball them up and stick them in the ceramic jar. That part of it was meant to be a physical action that re-enforced me giving up the issue. Then, when I was done with my prayer time, I'd burn whatever was in the jar that day. It symbolized putting those worries on God's to-do list, and that they were now gone from mine.
It might sound silly, but for me, it worked. I had names and topics I had to put into that jar probably hundreds of times, but eventually, they'd fall off my radar. And, more importantly, I was taking actions in faith that I could surrender my cares to Him and that I could trust Him to deal with them.
So, when I think about shedding the old man, I like the idea of water baptism, full submersion - fully apart from the fact that it's something Jesus wants us to do. Like I wrote about yesterday, obedience seems to have an infinite number of "bonus" outcomes. God is so great like that; His creative mind and masterful plan of creation amazes me again and again. I love that.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Getting Outside
Ever have one of those days where all you can think about is your frustrating day, your tedious to-do list and your looming fears?
Well, there's a magic trick that will help dispel all your "ick" on a day like that. What is it?
Service.
Jesus advocated servanthood in many instances, not to mention by way of His own example. It's been my experience that in addition to the patent benefit of obedience, choosing the way of the servant does wonders to clear my head.
In this particular context, I'm speaking most directly about the types of service that are really about me getting outside of myself, outside of my own head. Engaging with someone else, listening to their concerns, or sharing in their joys... both are equally effective. Earnest intercessory prayer on behalf of others also has worked miracles in combating my own self-absorption.
I am definite in my belief that obeying God's word and following Jesus' example have benefits far beyond the obvious; I just wanted to share with you something I consider to be another of those unexpected gifts, birthed out of obedience and surrender to His ways.
Well, there's a magic trick that will help dispel all your "ick" on a day like that. What is it?
Service.
Jesus advocated servanthood in many instances, not to mention by way of His own example. It's been my experience that in addition to the patent benefit of obedience, choosing the way of the servant does wonders to clear my head.
In this particular context, I'm speaking most directly about the types of service that are really about me getting outside of myself, outside of my own head. Engaging with someone else, listening to their concerns, or sharing in their joys... both are equally effective. Earnest intercessory prayer on behalf of others also has worked miracles in combating my own self-absorption.
I am definite in my belief that obeying God's word and following Jesus' example have benefits far beyond the obvious; I just wanted to share with you something I consider to be another of those unexpected gifts, birthed out of obedience and surrender to His ways.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Two-Fold Trust & a Twist
Have you ever heard something someone says...maybe only once, but probably no more than two or three times, but that leaves such an impression it seems like something they say all the time?
Well, I've got one. I'm pretty sure our pastor has only said this a couple times, but (luckily!) I feel like I've heard it a LOT. This is the gist of it:
Trusting God means trusting 1) His character and 2) His abilities.
This, of course, begs the question "When I don't trust, which one am I doubting? God's character or His abilities?"
Well, for me, this is a great question to ask myself in the midst of fear or doubt. I find it's helped me get to the root of various fears (viz. lies from the enemy) and find a path back to standing in faith. Old shadows from the past can creep in and lead me into a place where I'm (usually unconsciously) doubting God's abilities, or His character. In all honesty, for me, I usually come to a place when I start pulling at this thread that leaves me astounded to realize what it is I have been doubting. God is soooo good; yet, my human heart can jump to such other conclusions sometimes.
So, in a recent struggle I was having, I decided to ask myself this question. What I realized was that what I had thought was fear was truthfully not. I wasn't doubting God. I wasn't doubting His abilities or His character (hallelujah!). Instead, I was "doubting" whether or not I wanted to truly surrender to His plan on this specific front.
I've heard it said that - to us - God sure has a funny sense of timing, and from my tiny vantage point, He also seems to take a pretty strange path to get from point A to point B at times. Of course, I understand that my sight of things is generally hugely flawed, and that's why I get to choose again and again to submit to HIS plan and, inherently, His view of things.
So, in my recent time of "doubt," I was grateful to have exposed that I wasn't actually doubting Him. I was doubting my own desire to truly submit, surrender, obey and yield. Once I realized what was really going on, I knew I had the privilege of choice. I got to choose. So, armed with a reminder that I do trust in His character and that I do trust in His ability, I chose to surrender. I chose to yield control. And I'm sure I'll surprise no one by saying it all worked out for the best. He is good. In being and in deed.
Well, I've got one. I'm pretty sure our pastor has only said this a couple times, but (luckily!) I feel like I've heard it a LOT. This is the gist of it:
Trusting God means trusting 1) His character and 2) His abilities.
This, of course, begs the question "When I don't trust, which one am I doubting? God's character or His abilities?"
Well, for me, this is a great question to ask myself in the midst of fear or doubt. I find it's helped me get to the root of various fears (viz. lies from the enemy) and find a path back to standing in faith. Old shadows from the past can creep in and lead me into a place where I'm (usually unconsciously) doubting God's abilities, or His character. In all honesty, for me, I usually come to a place when I start pulling at this thread that leaves me astounded to realize what it is I have been doubting. God is soooo good; yet, my human heart can jump to such other conclusions sometimes.
So, in a recent struggle I was having, I decided to ask myself this question. What I realized was that what I had thought was fear was truthfully not. I wasn't doubting God. I wasn't doubting His abilities or His character (hallelujah!). Instead, I was "doubting" whether or not I wanted to truly surrender to His plan on this specific front.
I've heard it said that - to us - God sure has a funny sense of timing, and from my tiny vantage point, He also seems to take a pretty strange path to get from point A to point B at times. Of course, I understand that my sight of things is generally hugely flawed, and that's why I get to choose again and again to submit to HIS plan and, inherently, His view of things.
So, in my recent time of "doubt," I was grateful to have exposed that I wasn't actually doubting Him. I was doubting my own desire to truly submit, surrender, obey and yield. Once I realized what was really going on, I knew I had the privilege of choice. I got to choose. So, armed with a reminder that I do trust in His character and that I do trust in His ability, I chose to surrender. I chose to yield control. And I'm sure I'll surprise no one by saying it all worked out for the best. He is good. In being and in deed.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Service
I have a word that I feel God put on my heart for the blog today. It's direct and it's bold, so I admit that I'm feeling a teeny bit bashful. However, I believe it's Biblical and sound. So, here it is.
If there is an imbalance in your life and you give more than you allow God to fill you, you WILL wear out. That is NOT the way we were designed. It's not the way He made us to work. We step in and redirect His plan for our lives when we give too much and don't receive enough. It is by its very nature, telling God that your way is better than His, no matter how noble your motives may be. It's sin.
If you are willing to give your time to the church, to other people and to good efforts, that really is wonderful. BUT, we are instructed to give our first portions to the Lord. Give the first portion of your time today. It doesn't have to be an hour; it doesn't have to be even half an hour. Just take some time and give it to Him. He's craving you, and if you give Him a chance to reach you, you'll learn to crave Him more and more too.
Service is part of the heart of God, but if you do not create time to connect to the heart of God , your service will not be all He could allow it to be. Be a vessel; please. But let the Captain spend time with your ship before you try to sail the seas.
If there is an imbalance in your life and you give more than you allow God to fill you, you WILL wear out. That is NOT the way we were designed. It's not the way He made us to work. We step in and redirect His plan for our lives when we give too much and don't receive enough. It is by its very nature, telling God that your way is better than His, no matter how noble your motives may be. It's sin.
If you are willing to give your time to the church, to other people and to good efforts, that really is wonderful. BUT, we are instructed to give our first portions to the Lord. Give the first portion of your time today. It doesn't have to be an hour; it doesn't have to be even half an hour. Just take some time and give it to Him. He's craving you, and if you give Him a chance to reach you, you'll learn to crave Him more and more too.
Service is part of the heart of God, but if you do not create time to connect to the heart of God , your service will not be all He could allow it to be. Be a vessel; please. But let the Captain spend time with your ship before you try to sail the seas.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Communion
For most of us, this is a word we hear a lot. It might be every Sunday, once a month, or even more often.
So, tonight, while praying, I felt like God said I should write about communion. So, here I am.
I started by doing what many of you won't be surprised to know I did: I started looking at the word itself.
There's actually only one word that the KJV that gets translated as communion. As you read these words, please do so slowly, and keep in mind the act of taking communion. Let it bring new meaning to what often becomes a rote activity.
Communion means: partnership. It means literally participating. It means communication and fellowship. It implies recognizing and enjoying common experience. It means being a part of the thing that is in process. It even implies contribution.
Think of that.
When we take the elements, when we drink the juice and eat those tiny crackers, we are, per His direction, contributing. We are joining into joint action with Him. I'm not sure, theologically, all the ways that might play out, and I don't mean to say that we are participating directly in the sacrifice and redemption accomplished by Jesus (and Him alone). But my part is in the choosing to accept the terms of the new covenant. And when I take communion, I am affirming and reconfirming my decision to be under the terms of the new covenant. And that means all the terms. Yes, the grace. Yes, the love. But also the rules. Also the directions. It is all part and parcel, and when I take that juice into my mouth, I am making an agreement, again and again.
And because of that decision, I get true communion. I get to be with Him. Think about that. We get to be with Him. Seriously: amazing.
So, next time you take communion, remember what you're doing, and let the majesty of the moment impress itself upon you. He gives us an incredible opportunity, and He gives us the opportunity to re-experience it, and participate again over and over. What a good God we serve.
So, tonight, while praying, I felt like God said I should write about communion. So, here I am.
I started by doing what many of you won't be surprised to know I did: I started looking at the word itself.
There's actually only one word that the KJV that gets translated as communion. As you read these words, please do so slowly, and keep in mind the act of taking communion. Let it bring new meaning to what often becomes a rote activity.
Communion means: partnership. It means literally participating. It means communication and fellowship. It implies recognizing and enjoying common experience. It means being a part of the thing that is in process. It even implies contribution.
Think of that.
When we take the elements, when we drink the juice and eat those tiny crackers, we are, per His direction, contributing. We are joining into joint action with Him. I'm not sure, theologically, all the ways that might play out, and I don't mean to say that we are participating directly in the sacrifice and redemption accomplished by Jesus (and Him alone). But my part is in the choosing to accept the terms of the new covenant. And when I take communion, I am affirming and reconfirming my decision to be under the terms of the new covenant. And that means all the terms. Yes, the grace. Yes, the love. But also the rules. Also the directions. It is all part and parcel, and when I take that juice into my mouth, I am making an agreement, again and again.
And because of that decision, I get true communion. I get to be with Him. Think about that. We get to be with Him. Seriously: amazing.
So, next time you take communion, remember what you're doing, and let the majesty of the moment impress itself upon you. He gives us an incredible opportunity, and He gives us the opportunity to re-experience it, and participate again over and over. What a good God we serve.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Kiddos
I sat in a nail salon tonight and got a pedicure. It was my treat to myself after a few weeks of SUPER stress at work. My time there was more fun than I would have expected though, and that was thanks to a little kid. The nail tech's son was there; he was four, and he was precious.
We pretended to hide from each other (he behind a wall, and behind my hands mostly), and then he's pop out and laugh at my shock at his re-arrival. It was fun. And he was one of the highlights of my day.
Then, tonight, at a worship gathering at my church, I am feeling so blessed to look down in the the front of the church and see little clusters of children dancing and playing and just enjoying the music.
Something tonight prompted me then to also remember something I witnessed while on a mission trip to India last fall. We were having a time of testimony, prayer and worship with a group of children at one of the orphanages we work with there. There was a little girl standing not far from me, Indira, who (we'd been told) had just come to the orphanage in the last few weeks. She was undernourished and tiny. And something about her, although she was beautiful, was shockingly sad. She had a deep well of hurt in her; you could just tell by looking in her eyes. Some of the kids there radiate light, and seem like little pockets of walking laughter. Life on the street for kids like Indira in very harsh and very cruel, and it was clear that in her short life, she's suffered much. I remember, though, looking up at her during one part of worship and being immediately flooded with tears. My eyes well up again now as I remember the scene. Tiny, fragile little Indira had her eyes closed and her hand reached out to heaven and the look on her face... I wish I had words. She was worshipping God, and I know He was right there with us all.
I am not even sure exactly where I'm going with this tonight, but what strikes my heart is that no matter how small, no matter how immature, now matter how be-boppy and crazy the little bundles of fun in our lives can be, they can also worship and connect in a real way to the heart of God. Mostly, I think, because He connects to us all with grace and an open hand.
Even in the innocence of the little guy at the nail place today, and even in the silly bopping of the kids in front of the stage, there is a God who loves them and knows their hearts intimately. I suspect He knows them in ways that they have yet to know themselves, and in ways none of us ever will. What a gift. I remind myself of this to encourage us all to remember to let the kids in our lives touch God in the realest way we can help them to. And I also just want to give gratitude to the moms and dads out there who carve out time in their kids' lives and space in their children's consciousnesses to know and to be with God. What a gift...
We pretended to hide from each other (he behind a wall, and behind my hands mostly), and then he's pop out and laugh at my shock at his re-arrival. It was fun. And he was one of the highlights of my day.
Then, tonight, at a worship gathering at my church, I am feeling so blessed to look down in the the front of the church and see little clusters of children dancing and playing and just enjoying the music.
Something tonight prompted me then to also remember something I witnessed while on a mission trip to India last fall. We were having a time of testimony, prayer and worship with a group of children at one of the orphanages we work with there. There was a little girl standing not far from me, Indira, who (we'd been told) had just come to the orphanage in the last few weeks. She was undernourished and tiny. And something about her, although she was beautiful, was shockingly sad. She had a deep well of hurt in her; you could just tell by looking in her eyes. Some of the kids there radiate light, and seem like little pockets of walking laughter. Life on the street for kids like Indira in very harsh and very cruel, and it was clear that in her short life, she's suffered much. I remember, though, looking up at her during one part of worship and being immediately flooded with tears. My eyes well up again now as I remember the scene. Tiny, fragile little Indira had her eyes closed and her hand reached out to heaven and the look on her face... I wish I had words. She was worshipping God, and I know He was right there with us all.
I am not even sure exactly where I'm going with this tonight, but what strikes my heart is that no matter how small, no matter how immature, now matter how be-boppy and crazy the little bundles of fun in our lives can be, they can also worship and connect in a real way to the heart of God. Mostly, I think, because He connects to us all with grace and an open hand.
Even in the innocence of the little guy at the nail place today, and even in the silly bopping of the kids in front of the stage, there is a God who loves them and knows their hearts intimately. I suspect He knows them in ways that they have yet to know themselves, and in ways none of us ever will. What a gift. I remind myself of this to encourage us all to remember to let the kids in our lives touch God in the realest way we can help them to. And I also just want to give gratitude to the moms and dads out there who carve out time in their kids' lives and space in their children's consciousnesses to know and to be with God. What a gift...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Come into the Light
I came across this verse in my reading today, and it reminded me of why I love word study so much:
"But everything exposed by the light becomes visible..." Ephesians 5:13 (NIV)
The way it's translated version to version is very different. I'll spare you all the translations here, but you can always check BibleGateway.com for an easy way to cross reference. In any case, the most common words that are used are exposed and reproved. Now, in my understanding, the words (at least on their surface) mean very different things.
From Merriam-Webster:
Expose: to make known : bring to light (as something shameful) b: to disclose the faults or crimes of
Reprove: 1: to scold or correct usually gently or with kindly intent
Even in the case of thinly veiled metaphor, the nuance within the meanings of these two words is quite different.
Then I started looking at the Greek root words. Very interesting!
There is a handful of really comprehensive resources I use as my general guides when looking at the root language, and for all intents and purposes, I think the best translation (at least in me-speak) is more about conviction.
The light of Jesus convinces our hearts of our wrong; it convicts us. The root language implies that it does so for the purpose of bringing us shame. I found this idea a little upsetting, until I took away the modern pop-psychology concept that I think I instantly attach to the idea of shame. Really, at its simplest core, shame is that feeling I feel every time I know I've done something in a way that wouldn't bring joy to Jesus. So, yeah, it's not about mean kids on the playground or self-hatred. It's just about my conscience.
So, back to what is really my very simple point for today: what things am I withholding from Jesus' light? Either intentionally or unintentionally? His light brings truth. His like brings true exposure. And sometimes, yes, that light will bring rebuking. And conviction. And shame. But His light is also about love, and conviction yes, but not condemnation. Unlike the criminal found guilty in our modern courts, in the courts of the Holy One, we are found guilty, but never condemned to serve our sentence. The price has already been paid. Let Him shine His light. There's freedom on the other side.
"But everything exposed by the light becomes visible..." Ephesians 5:13 (NIV)
The way it's translated version to version is very different. I'll spare you all the translations here, but you can always check BibleGateway.com for an easy way to cross reference. In any case, the most common words that are used are exposed and reproved. Now, in my understanding, the words (at least on their surface) mean very different things.
From Merriam-Webster:
Expose: to make known : bring to light (as something shameful) b: to disclose the faults or crimes of
Reprove: 1: to scold or correct usually gently or with kindly intent
Even in the case of thinly veiled metaphor, the nuance within the meanings of these two words is quite different.
Then I started looking at the Greek root words. Very interesting!
There is a handful of really comprehensive resources I use as my general guides when looking at the root language, and for all intents and purposes, I think the best translation (at least in me-speak) is more about conviction.
The light of Jesus convinces our hearts of our wrong; it convicts us. The root language implies that it does so for the purpose of bringing us shame. I found this idea a little upsetting, until I took away the modern pop-psychology concept that I think I instantly attach to the idea of shame. Really, at its simplest core, shame is that feeling I feel every time I know I've done something in a way that wouldn't bring joy to Jesus. So, yeah, it's not about mean kids on the playground or self-hatred. It's just about my conscience.
So, back to what is really my very simple point for today: what things am I withholding from Jesus' light? Either intentionally or unintentionally? His light brings truth. His like brings true exposure. And sometimes, yes, that light will bring rebuking. And conviction. And shame. But His light is also about love, and conviction yes, but not condemnation. Unlike the criminal found guilty in our modern courts, in the courts of the Holy One, we are found guilty, but never condemned to serve our sentence. The price has already been paid. Let Him shine His light. There's freedom on the other side.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Amends
As part of a discussion group, I was in on a discussion surrounding this question last night:
Do you owe any amends to God?
This really got me thinking. Do I owe God an apology? Now, I could go off into a big long tangent about the word "owe" here and how it implies I have a debt that I'm meant to pay. Thankfully, by the saving work of Jesus, this doesn't apply between me & God. However, the spirit of the question is a good one.
I started praying about this today and asking God. For what things do I need to approach Him and apologize. I am really thinking beyond the obvious here. Willful sin, habitual sin, obvious sin of any kind, really... I guess I am thinking more about the subtle things I do that I don't really realize are sin, or - sin or not - are things for which I could apologize to God for rightfully anyway. So, anyway, I guess this is just a random thought that I'm putting out there at this point. What does it mean to apologize to God in a sense that is separate from repentance? Is there such a thing?
Comments are welcome...but for now, I'm just going to keep mulling this over. I invite you to do the same.
Do you owe any amends to God?
This really got me thinking. Do I owe God an apology? Now, I could go off into a big long tangent about the word "owe" here and how it implies I have a debt that I'm meant to pay. Thankfully, by the saving work of Jesus, this doesn't apply between me & God. However, the spirit of the question is a good one.
I started praying about this today and asking God. For what things do I need to approach Him and apologize. I am really thinking beyond the obvious here. Willful sin, habitual sin, obvious sin of any kind, really... I guess I am thinking more about the subtle things I do that I don't really realize are sin, or - sin or not - are things for which I could apologize to God for rightfully anyway. So, anyway, I guess this is just a random thought that I'm putting out there at this point. What does it mean to apologize to God in a sense that is separate from repentance? Is there such a thing?
Comments are welcome...but for now, I'm just going to keep mulling this over. I invite you to do the same.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Rain on my Parade
So, here's a question for you: what does it take to ruin your day?
I started thinking about this while talking with a good friend about a day that should have been celebratory for her. It wasn't...and she shared that she chose to remember that "this is the day that the Lord hath made; rejoice and be glad in it!" as her mantra for the day. I thought it was a simple but (often) needed reminder.
This day - regardless of its happenings - IS the Lord's day. And the Bible commands us to give thanks continually, and to rejoice! It's His day. And even if it gives me a headache, one day in His hands truly IS better than a thousand lived in any other way.
I look back on my life "before," and I marvel at how much happier and more peaceful I am on an overall basis. Don't get me wrong; I have days and moments. I feel hurt and angry and fearful and anxious just like everyone else. But, on the whole, living a day in a way that remembers that it's His day makes every day go better. It's not about feeling better or hoping it's better. It's about knowing that it IS better. He is faithful, friends. Always. And to the end of the age.
I started thinking about this while talking with a good friend about a day that should have been celebratory for her. It wasn't...and she shared that she chose to remember that "this is the day that the Lord hath made; rejoice and be glad in it!" as her mantra for the day. I thought it was a simple but (often) needed reminder.
This day - regardless of its happenings - IS the Lord's day. And the Bible commands us to give thanks continually, and to rejoice! It's His day. And even if it gives me a headache, one day in His hands truly IS better than a thousand lived in any other way.
I look back on my life "before," and I marvel at how much happier and more peaceful I am on an overall basis. Don't get me wrong; I have days and moments. I feel hurt and angry and fearful and anxious just like everyone else. But, on the whole, living a day in a way that remembers that it's His day makes every day go better. It's not about feeling better or hoping it's better. It's about knowing that it IS better. He is faithful, friends. Always. And to the end of the age.
Monday, June 1, 2009
A Life Worthy
In Ephesians, Paul, writing about unity in the church urges his fellow believers with these words:
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:1-2 (NIV)
The phrase that struck me today was this one: "live a life worthy of the calling you have received." I'm sure most of you can agree with me that there are many possible applications of this idea both inside and outside of the church. I knew I was headed for a stressful day on my way into work this morning. It was set up to be one of those days where people asked, "How's your day going?" and then laughed before they got an answer, because they knew the answer wasn't likely to be good.
In my quiet time this morning, I asked the Lord to help me with exactly what this verse speaks of. I don't want to have a frustrating day and be snippy or sassy or cranky, but have it be understood and accepted by everyone because of my bad day. I want to have a frustrating and challenging set of circumstances in front of me, and come through the day exuding enough love, grace, patience, kindness and peace that others would notice it as different.
I remember, just before I started a long journey back to the Lord, looking around at the people in my life who just seemed happier, more peaceful and more content than the other people I knew. You want to know what they all had in common? Jesus. I want to come to mind when someone else looks back and picks out of memory the people with that little something different. I want to witness in that way: as a living, breathing, walking-the-walk witness. I want to live a life worthy of the calling He's put on my life. Every day. Especially the hard ones.
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:1-2 (NIV)
The phrase that struck me today was this one: "live a life worthy of the calling you have received." I'm sure most of you can agree with me that there are many possible applications of this idea both inside and outside of the church. I knew I was headed for a stressful day on my way into work this morning. It was set up to be one of those days where people asked, "How's your day going?" and then laughed before they got an answer, because they knew the answer wasn't likely to be good.
In my quiet time this morning, I asked the Lord to help me with exactly what this verse speaks of. I don't want to have a frustrating day and be snippy or sassy or cranky, but have it be understood and accepted by everyone because of my bad day. I want to have a frustrating and challenging set of circumstances in front of me, and come through the day exuding enough love, grace, patience, kindness and peace that others would notice it as different.
I remember, just before I started a long journey back to the Lord, looking around at the people in my life who just seemed happier, more peaceful and more content than the other people I knew. You want to know what they all had in common? Jesus. I want to come to mind when someone else looks back and picks out of memory the people with that little something different. I want to witness in that way: as a living, breathing, walking-the-walk witness. I want to live a life worthy of the calling He's put on my life. Every day. Especially the hard ones.
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