Another Piece...

This weekend, I missed the mark. I sinned, and although I had asked for forgiveness from God, repented of the mistake, and even talked and spoken words of forgiveness with the other parties affected, I still couldn't shake the "blah" feeling. I just felt...bad. And something about it, in my heart, wasn't right. So I prayed for guidance about what I needed to see. And this is what I feel like He showed me.

Sometimes, to me, it seems too easy. I felt like it should be harder. I messed up. I said I was sorry. I changed my ways and asked for forgiveness. The Bible says, quite plainly and many, many times, that this is all it takes. There is no "period of punishment" which I have to endure. I don't need to beat myself up for a requisite number of hours or days (or months or years) to be welcome at the table of the forgiven. I'm clean. I'm clear. He already paid the price. I just have to choose to receive it. Again. And, it seems, sometimes again and again.

After I prayed for His guidance, He brought me to Luke 15. This chapter contains the prodigal son story, but it has two slightly lesser known parables before that one. The first is Jesus reminding his audience of Pharisees that, if a man loses 1 of his 100 sheep, he'd go in search of the single lost sheep, right?

Okay, yeah, sure... but...

Then He tells the parable of the woman who has lost 1 of her 10 silver coins. Like His story about the lost sheep, Jesus describes the rejoicing of the woman who finds her coin, and then goes onto to say that "there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents" Luke 15:10b (NIV). I admit, I was skeptical, so pressed upon by the lies of Satan. So, I thought, "Well, that's different. That word for 'sinner' is probably referring to one who has spent ages wandering in darkness, and is returning to the Lord for the first time."

Now, please feel free to ignore (as I did) that Jesus' stories refer to a lost sheep (originally part of the flock) and even more pointedly, to a single silver coin that the woman in the parable lost - presumably (or at least potentially) for just a brief period of time. So, I was apparently on a mission to try to find a reason why I shouldn't accept this same kind of grace. And did I find it?

Absolutely not. The original language used in both of these parables (as well as the prodigal son story that follows) actually uses two forms of a very simple word for "sin." It is essentially translated as "missing the mark." So, according to the Word of God, when one of us (even me?) simply misses the mark, there is rejoicing in the Heavens when we repent of our ways and turn back to God.

Really?

Really?

I have tears in my eyes again as I simply re-visit this moment from last night.

And I'll even go on and add this: the word that describes the joy of the angels is a specific word in the Greek that truly indicates not just happiness or gladness, but a true fullness of joy and delight.

I don't know about you, but that kind of blows me away. And when I was in the place of guilt and condemnation I was in when I was reading this word...well, it's no wonder I cried, right?

God is so good. He is so loving. And His Son paid the price... FULLY. And if I lack the humility to accept that sacrifice, I have to acknowledge that it can be for only two reasons: 1) I don't truly believe that He is a God of His word, and that, therefore, complete recompense for my sin is NOT freely mine. Or, 2) Jesus' death wasn't enough.

That makes me take in a sharp, deep breath. Not enough? Jesus?

You'll see why I felt the need to pray for humility. As I prayed after this little moment of tender revelation, that's what I asked for. Help me be humble enough to accept Your gifts.

This ties back into things from the past few days for me. 1) I do things my way when I expect that my way is better than His. (Again, *cough, cough* humility needed!) 2) Jesus IS the way. Check the verse (John 14:6). The language is as clear as could be. He is the way. Not me. Not guilt. Not some distorted attempt at self-inflicted purgatory. I don't need to try to add to the suffering of Christ. His was enough. Truly.

I will continue to pray for His grace in accepting this Grace. My tiny pea-sized human-brain and fleshly human heart have such difficulty taking it all in. I am so grateful He is willing to help me even in that.

One last note: as I've been writing this, I have a new "favorite" song playing in the background: "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. I definitely encourage you to go purchase it for your own; and, at the very least, google the lyrics. They're beautiful, and, for me, they were perfect today.