In a time that may or may coincidentally align with Lent, my church is today entering 40 days of 24/7 prayer. Along with this prayer vigil, we've all be challenged to consider fasting as a complimentary spiritual discipline.
I chatted briefly with a friend last night about the fast, and have been praying about it for much of the week. I also thought it was probably a good idea to check in with the Bible and see what I could learn; admittedly, this is an area about which I know little.
Here's an interesting verse that caught my eye:
"‘We have fasted before you!’ they say.
‘Why aren’t you impressed?
We have been very hard on ourselves,
and you don’t even notice it!’
“I will tell you why!” I respond.
“It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves.
Even while you fast,
you keep oppressing your workers"
Isaiah 58:13 (MSG)
Some of the subtext here is probably fairly obvious (does that mean it isn't subtext?).... But it got me thinking. The main thing I feel that God has clearly asked me to fast is something that, to me, doesn't really seem like that big of a deal. In addition, when I shared about it with my friend, I felt like the response I got indicated that I might want to try to give up something bigger or harder. The intent in my friend's statement, though, isn't the important point (I may be way off about his point anyway...). What it did do was get me thinking about it in a new way.
Here's what I've decided. I'm going to fast what it is He's suggesting for me. I sought His guidance earnestly, and feel like I got a clear response from Him. I think that, for me, and within my own personal context, it would be hubris to try to raise the bar on the Lord. I admit; the "sacrifice" I feel like He's requesting doesn't seem hard... but, I haven't done it yet. I also did try to come up with some things that felt "harder" and "bigger" and have been suggesting them in prayer all week. I kinda feel like what I'm receiving back at this point is just a challenge to trust Him. I know of myself that I am also definitively prone to trying to make things too hard on myself.
God knows the plans He has for me - even within this 40 day window. He knows of things coming on the horizons inside and outside of me that I cannot possibly predict. He knows what the big picture looks like - in regards to my own life, and in regards to His larger vision of the Kingdom. So, I'm going to trust Him. And, what's more, no matter how it seems it might be today, I'm going to expect that He's going to rock my world a bit. After all, that does seem to be His specialty.
For me, I need continual reinforcement of a lesson I'm just starting to learn: God's amazing power at work in my life is NOT dependent upon my hard work. Now, please understand, I'm not saying I don't play some role. My willingness and openness are absolutely essential; my obedience is critical and my yielding a true keystone in His will unfolding in and through my life. However, it doesn't have to be "hard." Yeah, sometimes it's hard, but what I am trying to say is that "it" being easy doesn't mean that it's not quality. In fact, I don't think God's intention for us is to go around wearing ourselves out for Jesus. In fact, I'm learning that the better I get at depending upon HIS strength, the more energy I have and the more effective I can be. I'm not saying I don't have responsibilities in my life being filled by His Spirit; I do. I'm just saying that when I live like His success is dependent upon my strength, we're all in trouble.
So, I'm going to put one foot in front of the other, and do what He's asked of me. If He asks for something new and something "big" tomorrow, then I'll address it tomorrow. For today, I'm going to rest easy in His sovereignty, and I promise that I won't be surprised if 1/2 way through my 40 day fast, I'm awash with new insight about why His request wasn't so "easy" after all.
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