Tuesday, February 3, 2009

No Need to Hide

A few years ago, I caught hold of a very powerful idea; it seems simple now in the retelling, but at the time it really gave me pause for reflection. The idea was that many of the ways in which I was "acting out" (which is a pathetically general way of trying to quickly lump together a multitude of behaviors, so please forgive me!) were motivated by a single thing: I wanted to control the way I was perceived.

Naturally, one thing that can sometimes influence how we're perceived is how we act. All those external cues do inform the ways in which we're seen. However, I think all will agree that sometimes, what we understand as the reality of our actions seems to be a hundred miles apart from how another person might see or understand us. There are umpteen factors influencing these things - factors brought to the picture by the person viewed, and those brought by the person viewing.

Where I'm going with this is simply that I think we can all relate to the idea of trying to not "seem" a certain way or another... whether we really are that way or not. For myself, I hold an ideal in my heart of never trying to manipulate my image; it's simple but absolute honesty for which I strive. Now, in truth, I frequently fall short of this ideal. I find myself trying to manipulate the impression I make on others without even realizing it - in subtle ways. Nothing that anyone might call deceit, but beneath are two fallacies: 1) I can control how another person perceives me and 2) There is something to be gained from doing so.

In light of these ideas, here's the verse that caught my eye today: "His eyes are on the ways of men; he sees their every step " Job 34:21 (NIV).

Thankfully, I'm at a place in my life where I don't mind admitting to you that I sometimes find myself trying to control and change (viz. manipulate) the way that even God sees me! Isn't the very idea ridiculous? Well, certainly I agree; the idea is ridiculous! The attempt is pitiful! And yet, I do it all the time!!!

It's a simple message to say that God sees us exactly as we are. And, in fact, I'll add to that a reminder that He sees us with eyes that see even more clearly than our own. He knows us - in every sense, in every way and on every level.

I'm not sure what the "purpose" may be for you in this reminder, but I will toss this last thought into the idea before I close. He knows each and every thing you've ever done, thought, said and even felt - and He adores you, absolutely loves you and deeply longs for intimate relationship with you.

Wow. Lord, when I am feeling lofty, help me remember that I cannot hide from You. And when I swing the other way and start to feel unworthy, help me to know with conviction that You know me better than I could ever know myself, and that because of Your loving gift of sacrifice, You deem me worthy. Help me to never take so great a step of arrogance as to think my own estimation of my worth is more accurate than Your own! And when I do stumble on this rocks, help me reaffirm the truths of Your word and know that I am wonderfully made by You! And that, truly, nothing else is relevant! Thank You, Lord!

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