Ah friends! I felt some waves of fear this morning - nothing "important" - just typical work stuff.... And I was so grateful to be able to remember what God inspired in me yesterday: I need only to keep my eyes focused on Him, and there is no fear that can touch me! Amen & hallelujah!
As I find myself (gratefully) continuing on my journey toward greater and greater belief, I have had another reminder come back to me with full force. If you will, indulge me in a little exposition before I land this story.
I know I am not alone in wondering sometimes about "proof." I've heard teachers speak (rightfully so) on how it is different today; we weren't there to see the Red Sea part, or to watch Jesus walk resurrected down the road. Even the Bible alludes to the differences between those who have seen incredible wonders first hand and those who have not (see Deuteronomy 11:2-7, I believe...). So, you know, often times when I hear people talk about their struggles with faith - in light of a lack of "proof", I nod sympathetically. I'm sure that the voice I've heard speak such things has been my own as well.
But you know, as I sit here today, I am pondering Deuteronomy 10:21 which reads, "He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes" (NIV, italics mine), I realize that it would be an outright lie to say I hadn't seen "great and awesome wonders" with my eye owns. Goodness... I think of the simple things - a child simply reveling in the delight of her own amusement, the laughter of a baby, the playfulness of nature and the world in which we live, its absolutely perfect beauty and cyclic gracefulness... surely there are many great and awesome wonders before us all.
More so, I look at my own life. There have been absolutely horrifying strongholds and addictive obsessions of my own mind, life and sin in which I suffered for years, years. And I am not exaggerating when I say I had to fight with everything within me to crawl to a glimpse of light in some of those darkest years... but friends, I am mile-markers ahead of those days when grasping for a shimmer in the darkness was the best for which I could hope. Certainly, I have days when I feel discouraged, and you all know about my own days of sagging faith and a fearful heart.... But, in truth, when I think about the median point of my life - where my "average" day is compared to where it was a decade ago... and when I think about how much more steady and even my life is (thank gooooooooodness those overly dramatic roller-coaster rides are a thing of the past!).... Well, when I reflect in honesty, I would be ashamed to claim to have never seen great and awesome wonders of God in my very own life, and in my very own heart. I have.
I know it's been explored and suggested exhaustively in the world these days, but I do have to put in a good word for gratitude lists. It doesn't have to be in any certain format, or any certain method. The essence of the exercise is just taking some time to really immerse yourself in remembering that which God has done for you. Spend some time, if you need (and even if you don't!) to recount for yourself some great and awesome wonders. I will follow mine up with some praise for the God who performed them!
Thank You, great, holy and wonderful God! You take us and redeem our hurt; You restore our hearts and lives. Only You renew our minds. Thank You, Father, for rescuing me! I thank You for a day to give special honor to Your great and mighty works! I love You, Lord!
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