Testimony, part 2

As I wrote about for yesterday's post, I have written - and am soon going to be sharing - my testimony. I have been excited about the opportunity, and had even invited a few close friends to join me. Then, this weekend, the Lord put some things on my heart... He seemed to be instructing me to cast a wider net and invite more people to come and hear.

I will admit that I really resisted this directive. I found myself talking to my boyfriend and saying that, while I wanted to bring glory to God, it was after all, my story, and I felt sensitive about who would hear it. Ugh. As soon as the words were on my lips, I knew that I was quite mistaken. This story, this listing of miracles and transformations in my internal and outward lives is far, far from my story. This is HIS story. That's the only way it could have turned out as it has...and this is just the beginning.

So, while I knew what I was going to do (be bold!), I looked at scripture for some additional guidance and support. I found this:

"But as for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;

I will tell of all your deeds." Psalm 73:28 (NIV)

and this...

"Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion;

proclaim among the nations what he has done." Psalm 9:11 (NIV)

and this...

"Come and listen, all you who fear God;

let me tell you what he has done for me." Psalm 66:16 (NIV)

and this....

"Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things;

let this be known to all the world." Isaiah 12:5 (NIV)

and, lastly, this...

"We will not hide them from their children;

we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,

his power, and the wonders he has done." Psalm 78:4 (NIV)

Needless to say, I found myself persuaded. And then, as if God wanted to just hit it home, after I'd already made my decision, one of our pastors at church shared this scripture with us this weekend:

"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name;

make known among the nations what he has done." 1 Chronicle 16:8 (NIV)

Okay, okay, I get it! Not only did I need to be bolder about inviting people, but I needed to be quick to obey. So, I have.

And although you may not have a public speaking opportunity, I encourage you to let the principles here sink in and apply them in your own life. I've been praying for boldness with my coworkers; I'm sure this open invitation is part of His plan to teach me. I'm scared, but I know it is worth it! He has done amazing things...and I don't want to be shy about bringing glory to His name! Do you?

Testimony, part 1

I had recently been given the opportunity to share the story of Jesus' work in me (so far!) this week at a recovery group at my church... it's a discipleship program of sorts, and I went through one of its intensive programs earlier this year. It's a ministry in which I'm still involved, and there is an open door for people to share their testimonies.

As I started pondering the opportunity, I knew I wanted to share. I started the writing process and found it to be both instructional and enriching. It was hard to dig into some of the darker parts of my life, and even more challenging to figure out how to encapsulate them in a way that would make sharing them both simple and useful. It wasn't easy.

Delving into so much of my history felt scary and frustrating. I found myself resisting. Then I remembered this principle:

"But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you." 1 Samuel 12:24 (NIV)

The "principle" in this verse that I'm referring to is that of appreciating the good. If there weren't harder seasons in my life, I wouldn't know to appreciate and love the great and happy place to which He's brought me. The hard parts of my story have given Him opportunities to show up and and show off...and I can, indeed, say that He has done great things!

So, testimony is written and I am grateful! Reflect today on not only His goodness, but the good acts He has done in your life and heart. It brings glory to Him and is Biblically commanded!

Example

I was praying this morning, and had a brief moment that I felt was significant and wanted to share.

I was praying about what it means to be in leadership - at work, in ministry, and even in various relationships in my life. I was reflecting on what it really means to be in a position where others are looking up to me.

There are children in my life that look to me and whom I love dearly; I take seriously the responsibility of modeling appropriate behavior and boundaries for them. There are teenagers in my life, and I want them to see, in my example, ways they can resolve conflict and approach their own inner-growth process with dignity, faith and joy. I have employees that need to see me committing my efforts fully in my pursuits at work - and that the efforts are about being a person of character, not an employee seeking glory. And I serve in various ministries, and regardless of the context, I want those around me to look to me and see faithful humility, a countenance of graceful joy and the evidence of the fruit of the Spirit within me. And I have a man I love that I experiences an abundance of love, patience, understanding, adoration, grace and sacrificial giving in our relationship.

As I was praying, and considering all these various "roles," I heard myself say that being an example was "a great burden." I immediately retracted the words. My heart knew in that moment that I was wrong. It's a responsibility, yes, to be an example of the Lord's heart, to represent Him here on earth. Trust me, that "great cloud of witnesses" is often on my mind, and I wish I gave them less opportunity for what must be a host of holy sighs! I have many areas where my grade-card would probably read "Improvement needed." But my oh my, I am glad there isn't a spiritual grade-card. I give thanks for a God who never writes my sins in His book, now that I live in the well of His forgiveness and grace!

What I knew in that moment this morning was that the responsibility of being His representative wasn't a burden; I carry only the burdens I refuse to rest on His shoulders. Rather, it's a privilege. It is a privilege to be able to walk into my life and know that I can carry through even the most frustrating of days at work with a countenance of joy...not because I am so cheery and chipper, but because the King of Kings has sent His Spirit to me. It's an honor to be able to set down my own willfulness in deference to taking care of someone I love...again, not because I'm just this gracious and meek soul, but because He who is in me, is greater than he who is in the world. It IS the world and the enemy's hold in the world, in my world, that drive me toward selfishness, surliness and bitter resentment. Yet, it is the Lord who loves me that enables me to do all things. And that includes walking into every day in a way that speaks to those around me - all around me. In service or in leadership, yes...but also as I wait in line for groceries or lean against the car while pumping gas, I pray and ask that I would be one of those people that others would look at and think, "She's got something different inside her." I pray that they might ask, "What is it?" And, Lord, I pray for the boldness to be able to proclaim Your goodness without hesitation and with grace!

It isn't a burden to have these things on my mind; the consideration of them isn't heavy. The work is the Lord's to do. He renews minds. He transforms hearts. He fills and guides and directs. I need to only ask and receive. I have to be active in both parts, but He is faithful in deed!

I will live into the privilege and honor of calling You mine, Lord! Thank You for Your blessings!

God is Love

One of the most well-known pieces of scripture is probably a portion of 1 John 4:8 which reads, "God is love." The entire verse (below) is one I decided to focus on for today.

"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." (ESV)

I have a lot of different senses about what this means, but I wanted to dig into the original language to make sure I wasn't missing any richness provided with the original writing.

First, let's check the verb. The "is" in this sentence is in a verb tense called present indicative active. Really, if you don't let it intimidate you, the name of the tense itself pretty much says it all. It's present. Current. It's also active. This is a thing that is happening, currently. It's right now real & true. It indicates a prolonged state. God is love. Ahh, let that soak in a little...

The combination and grammatical structure of the entire phrase is also important and can teach us more about its meaning. The combination of the word for love with the structure of the sentence indicates that the statement is describing a quality of a thing; that is to say, God is described by love. Love, which is usually a "thing" or noun for us, is also a descriptive quality that helps comment on God...and, especially within this context, the reverse is true. God comments on what love is as well.

Lastly, the word for love found here is one many will know. It's probably the first Greek word I ever learned, and I bet I'm not alone in that. Agape (uh-gawp'-ay). One fact I think really helps explain this word at its root is that the word is sometimes translated to mean, essentially, "love feast." This is a word that describes an abundance and overflow of deep down, right to the core essential love. This word (and its root) are used to describe the way God feels towards Jesus, and describe the essential quality of what it means to be a Christian. Agape love is self-sacrificing, generous and abundant. And this, as we are learning, is what God is.

"Strong Belief"

I had a friend at work ask me some questions the other day. He stared with acknowledging that he knew I had "strong beliefs." This phrase got me thinking...

What is a "strong" belief? Is there such a thing?

I took what he said to indicate that, really, I had things I believed (in my head) that I also put action to (outwardly) in my life. And I started wondering about whether or not I can claim to really "believe" something if I'm not living it out in my life.

So, let me make this a little more concrete. Here's an example:

I believe the Bible to be absolute truth, accurately reflecting things God wishes to communicate to His people (including me!).

I believe that the Bible indicates clearly that I am to tithe the first 10% of my income.

I believe this is one of God's directions to me.

I believe that being obedient to God's will - without exception - is in my own best interest.

So, could I claim to believe these things and then fail to faithfully tithe my first 10%?

Only if I want what is not best for me. Right?

In my opinion, if I were to not tithe, I would, essentially, be saying that I don't believe one of the things above. My guess is that, in a moment of short-term vision, I might think that hanging onto the money I earned is in my "best interest" at any given point in time. That would be understandable to me. However, how can I claim that and also claim to believe that obedience to God is in my best interest?

I hope I haven't completely confused everyone reading. My point is this. I think it's fair to say that I either believe or do not believe that something is right or true. If I believe it, my actions would reflect that. If I do not, I think there must be somewhere inside me that I do not believe. I think it's fair to say that believing is sort of an all-or-nothing deal. Fair? I can't "sort of" believe that the sky is blue. I either do or do not believe it. I can doubt my own believe, but I still have to land on one side of the fence.

My point, in terms of "Why do I care?" is this: if I believe God's commands are for my best good, then I should follow them. All of them. Not just the ones that suit me for a given day or moment. Now, just to be completely clear, I fall short of this ideal all the time... but when I do, I repent - by changing my mind (coming into belief on that subject) AND changing my actions. And I pray consistently for God to expose to me new areas in which I need this kind of change.

So, I would put to each of us...if there is an area of repetitive transgression in your life (in my life), what is it that I do not believe? And when I identify that, am I okay claiming to NOT believe it? If not, something has to change. The two things can't coexist without denial.

Sometimes, for me, this kind of topic gets a little too heady, but often times, the other thing that can happen is that it takes all the nuance and guess-work out of things that really, in truth, are quite simple. Much of the world is not "black and white," but much of it is. I think danger lies in mis-identification on that front. So, call a spade a spade... where, I ask myself, does that leave me?

Patience & Patience

There are two root Greek words that are translated as "patience" in most versions of the Bible. The first is makrothymia. This is the word often translated as "long-suffering." And that's sort of what it means. This is the word that I think of when I am feeling tempted to lose my temper. When in the midst of a frustrating conversation or upsetting situation, I must display makrothymia in order to maintain my composure. This word is about self-restraint and maintaining balance and calm in light of provocation. In fact, the very literal translation of this word is "long temper."

The second word is a personal favorite of mine: hypomone'. For me and my individual personality, I seem have an easier time displaying makrothymia; hypomone', however, is where the rubber meets the road. The literal translation of this word means "to abide under." This word is more frequently and consistently translated as "patience," although, in my opinion, we don't have an English word that represents its full meaning well. Hypomone' is about endurance. This is the thing that comes to mind when I find myself in the midst of a painful season or long-standing situation. In this situations, when I submit to God's sovereignty and authority, I am displaying hypomone'. When I am in a time of teaching or feel myself in the midst of the "refiner's fire," chances are, the quality I need to find within is hypomone', if I am going to carry myself with grace and without angst. One word-study aid translates this word as "patience continuance."

It is also a variant of hypomone' that the Bible uses when talking about patience more specifically in the sense that indicates waiting. For me, this adds an interesting element to the idea of waiting - or, more specifically, waiting on the Lord. Although I'm sure the Greek includes more nuance than this, the quick version as I understand it is that makrothymia is about staying peaceful in the moment, while hypomone' is about enduring challenges with peace and gracefulness. For me, hypomone' is what I must find in the Spirit while my own flesh has a tendency to be indignant, self-seeking, impatient and even self-righteous. I must rely on the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to come to (and remain in!) a place of submission, surrender and acceptance. This world, as I frequently continue to find, is about God's plans. God's timing is sovereign. God's pace (although sometimes frustrating!) IS the best pace. God's methods of honing and growing and teaching us are sometimes painful and frustrating, but they are for our greatest good - without exception. Remembering that, I believe, will help us all stay focused on letting the Spirit bring abundances of both makrothymia and hupomone' into our hearts and lives.

Encouragement

In principle, I'm not a fan of randomly plucking a verse from scripture and crafting a "point" around it for my own purposes. If I am learning anything as I grow in my study of the word, it's that "Context is king!" (thanks, Pastor Tom!)

That said, I do want to throw out a verse that, although part of a more specific context for the original writing and reception, does have general application in our lives as believers today.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

Sometimes it's easy for me to get bogged down in the pressures of life, or to be discouraged by either failures or the simple frequency with which the world around me (or within me!) doesn't live up to my expectations. It happens. In fact, in some seasons, it happens a lot.

I am learning to appreciate anew, however, the difference a little encouragement can make. And, like many other acts of service, I find that I am even more encouraged when I take the time to thoughtfully encourage another.

I have a new accountability partner, and she & I are sharing emails back and forth each day about some of our own personal goals of growth and development for ourselves. Earlier today, I set aside just a few moments to be truly thoughtful about response to her. After reading her email and being sensitive to the nudging of the Spirit, I felt like I needed to put a little more thought and pause into my email to her than I might on a normal day.

And I am so glad I did! She probably hasn't even read the email yet, but I am feeling great! :)

My sincere hope, of course, is that she finds my words to be encouraging and uplifting. I hope she feels a bit lighter and even more hopeful as a result. But, the bonus outcome that I wasn't expecting was that I feel better too! By taking the time to encourage her in truth, I was reminding myself of those same truths! And it serves to further reinforce my faith that God is faithful, and that He does work all things together for the good of those who are called according to His purpose! (see Romans 8:28)

So, I encourage each of you to take the time today, with a spirit of service, to truly speak to someone's heart around you and do your best to encourage them. Don't worry about whether or not you say the "right" thing, and definitely don't worry about the outcome! Those things are in God's hands. Just show up and do the best you can; then believe Him for His purposes in it. And then, sit back and give thanks to Him for the encouragement your own heart is guaranteed to feel!

I marvel again and again at the way our Lord designed us... we are blessed to be a blessing, yes... but to also be blessed by our own acts of service? Well, it's flawless design! I'm sure of that!

Jackpot

I have the incredible good fortune to be a part of a church that has started its own Bible College. Our instructor is passionate, knowledgeable and filled with the Holy Spirit. He's a gifted and open teacher, and like a cherry on top, we also happen to have a lot of fun.

After class last night, I was thinking about what an incredible blessing it is for us to have the privilege of this situation in so many ways. Not only is it nearby and affordable, it's quality teaching in a collegial environment. It's at my church and the room is full of people who love the Lord and whom I have the privilege of getting to see every week in services, serving God and worshipping His holy name.

There are religions - Christian religious traditions - that fail to teach that, through Christ, we now all have access to the truth of His word and to His heart. There are people in my very city who don't think they're supposed to pick up their Bibles and learn it! A little more removed, there are people who struggle to afford a Bible; they don't hop on to the BibleGateway website to check various translations. There are people in other nations who walk miles to get to church, and those who not only meet in secret, but are literally martyred for their faith. And I throw on sweats on a Monday night and drive over to our cozy meeting room to learn about the word with 70-some of my classmates. Incredible.

Today, as simple as it is, I'm just taking time to be grateful for my exposure and ability to access not only the Lord Himself, but quality tools that can help me get to know Him more. I hold firmly to the belief that prayer and time are the key tools, and even those living in remote lands who don't have a Bible in their language can get to know God that way. But I am really grateful that the depth of information to which I have access is right in front of me and freely accessible in many ways.

In one of my classes, our instructor made the comment that prosperity often breeds ingratitude. I want to set aside today as a special day for me to honor the prosperity He's given me (and many of us, I trust) in regard to the opportunity to really learn and know His word and teachings. Thank You, Father!

Deserving

I had a good and humbling reminder recently...a reminder of the true magnitude of God's grace.

I'd made a mistake in a certain area of my life, and was feeling really frustrated and disappointed in myself. I had sinned in this area before, and had been doing really well in living in victory, and holding myself to higher standards...standards that I believe are reflective of His standards for me in this particular area.

Anyway, I messed up and was feeling pretty flat-on-my-face in my sin. I was worshipping and spending some time with God, and just feeling so down on myself. I was aware of my guilty feelings, and wrestling through with God whether or not it was appropriate to feel the guilt. I know there is "no condemnation for those who are in Christ" (see Romans 8:1), and yet I definitely did not want to sweep my sin under the run, throw out a cursory repentance prayer and move on. So, I sat with it a little and spent time with God, talking it out.

I heard myself saying, from a sincere spot in my heart, that I just felt like I didn't deserve God's grace on this one...I was saying that I "know better" and had acted immaturely. "I just don't deserve You," I heard myself say. That's when God gave me the much-needed reminder. His response, as gentle as it could be, was "You never have."

Well that got my attention for sure. "Lord?"

"What's changed?" He asked.

*deep exhale*

Right.

That's right.

I have never deserved the magnanimity of God. I have never been worthy of the gift of His Son on the Cross. I never have and NEVER will have earned Calvary. Never. I am incapable of it.

This reminder not only corrected my lack of humility, but more so, drew me closer to the heart of God. His reminder to me wasn't shaming or condemning - even of my arrogance. Instead, it was just a reminder of the reality of truth.

Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (NIV)

And that's it in a nutshell. The grace He lavishes on me (even when I make the same mistake more than once!) and the forgiveness He extends are demonstrations of His love. Christ went to the cross while you & I still bore the weight of our guilt, so that we would never have to again. He defeated the condemnation I was allowing to be heaped on my own head, and I am thankful He re-directed me and reminded me to take hold of the freedom He's given.

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting my own disappointment in my weakness have a moment to be experienced, but when I wallow in it, or worse, lend the idea of truth to it, I negate the reality of His sacrifice and what it really means. I was blessed by my own fallen-nature, in a roundabout way. Just another example of God working all things together for good (Romans 8:28). I not only got to learn a renewed appreciation for His grace, but I came to love His heart just that much more...for He loves us. And that is the hinge on which our lives turn. What a gift; what a Lord!

Base-Line Believing

Many of us are familiar with Philippians 4:13; the NKJV reads "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Well, I dug into this verse a little deeper today. And before I reveal what I've found, I want to tell you why I looked in the first place.

I've never thought of myself as one of those "special" people who goes out and boldly tells about the essence of Christianity. In fact, I've really thought of myself, many times, as someone whose primary opportunity to witness is in living my daily life in front of those around me. I think Jesus has spent the last couple years teaching me more in-depth lessons about living Christianity out (VERY imperfectly) and being a leader in the faith through my example. In that way that I think many of us have, I tend to limit God sometimes. In this particular scenario, I think I've been unintentionally putting limits on Him in my mind by assuming that it would end there.

Seems that I might be wrong. And, actually, regardless of what He has planned in specific situations and relationships, the verse I'm reviewing today assures me I am quite wrong. And it's one of those days and ways in which I'm really glad I was wrong.

So, let's look at the Amplified translation of this verse; in digging into the root words, the AMP sometimes captures "essence" so well for my brain, it makes me grin. Here's one of those instances:

"I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency]." Philippians 4:13 (AMP)

As I look at that, I am struck by a convicting question: what thing could I possibly label as just one of those things for which I am not equipped? Yes, surely, there are actions, activities and plans that God has set aside for someone other than me. But someone who cannot? Read what it says there. Ready for anything. Equal to anything. And my favorite part? "Self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency."

If you have ever found yourself (as I have) believing that you just can't know the right way, or just cannot say the right thing or take the best action, you are wrong. If you find yourself believing that you're just not "cut out for" something, please consider that that might simply be a nice way of saying that you don't believe yourself to be equal to the task. If you allow Christ to infuse inner strength into you, are are ready for anything. How different could the rest of today be if you lived with that belief foremost in your mind? Let's find out, shall we?

Participation

So, my brother had a back injury that has him now flat on his back and in severe pain with repetitive spasms. Poor kid. He lives alone, and needs help to roll even onto his side. I'm not sure of where he's at in regards to a saving faith, but I know his relationship with Jesus is far from a priority in his life.

Today, I took him lunch & some additional ice packs. Tonight, I spent a couple hours hanging out, helping with little things, made dinner & brought him a prescription. Tomorrow morning, we're going to figure out how to lay him down in the backseat of my car, and I'm driving him to the doctor. It should be interesting.

I'm sharing this not to elicit sympathy for my brother (although your prayers are coveted!), but to demonstrate the context for the point I do want to make. I did a few things today to help him; but the thing I did that is of the most value was that I prayed. I prayed while I was waiting for the prescription...for insight from his medical team, for healing, for his peace while bed ridden...and he let me lay hands on him tonight while I prayed for his back. And boy did I pray!

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16 (NLT)

This is one of my most cherished verses! The prayers of the righteous are both powerful and effective! I know I've written about this verse before, but it's one I draw on frequently! And I was thrilled and surprised to be reminded again of the first part of it (which I hadn't recalled from memory). This is a verse about healing! Woo hoo! I prayed tonight that God would prove Himself strong, and perform a miracle of healing that will demonstrate His love for my brother. I prayed that it would be for His glory that He would perform an act of healing, and that the testimony it wrote for my brother would be everlasting. I pray the angels will dance and rejoice at the show of God's might. And these prayers are worth more than ice packs, prescription runs and heating up a couple frozen meals. I would love to ask for you to pray for my brother (and you're all welcome to do that!), but more powerfully in my heart tonight is that you would ask for God to be glorified through this situation. I know God hears my prayer (see Jeremiah 29:12 & 13...often overshadowed by the preceding verse, but a couple of my favorites). Now it's time for Him to do what He does best, and intervene in our lives, out of love. He deserves the praise! I want to hear the angels sing! Thank You, Lord, for who You are and what You are doing right now in my brother and in my heart! I declare You are holy, majestic and a mighty Lord! Thank You!!!