Rewards

Let's start with the good stuff:

"O LORD, by your hand save me from such men, from men of this world whose reward is in this life. You still the hunger of those you cherish; their sons have plenty, and they store up wealth for their children. And I—in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness." Psalm 17:14-15 (NIV)

The phrase "such men" is referring to those elaborated more in the preceding verses, but basically it's "bad guys." The Psalmist is decrying their evil just words before this passage. Then, he throws in this beauty.

There are a couple things that catch my attention & admiration:

First, notice that the "such men", our evil-doers are also referred to as people "whose reward is in this life." It's almost thrown in as an after thought, and certainly is a passing descriptor, but let's think about the significance! If this word tells us that there are those whose reward is in this life, it's logical to say that the "other" group of people are those whose reward is in another life. Oh friends, don't you want to be those whose reward is not limited to the natural world?!?

Secondly, I loved the translation that reads "You still the hunger." That's beautiful to me, and such an apt metaphor. The Lord does fill my hungry places, but He stills them as well. Flutters of anxiety and fear are still when I let Him touch those places inside me. And, like the Psalmist I will strive to submit my hear to Him so that I can see His face in righteousness and find satisfaction in His likeness!

How grateful I am today for the scripture! They feed us again and again and then more!

Falling Down

I had a little fall recently...well, the fall was little, but the aftermath wasn't quite. I slipped on my stairs and ended up cutting myself on a baby gate I use for my dogs. The cut ended up being long and deep and right through an arterial vein. I will spare you all the gory details, but the bottom line is, it wasn't good. After a day and a half in the hospital (which can only be partially blamed for my absence from writing; I apologize for that!), I came home to recover.

The good news was that I wasn't home alone. My boyfriend was over hanging out, and it was a good thing! I lost a lot a blood and he was there to drive me to the ER, get me situated once there and also to just take care of me in a million ways over the next few days.

A couple days later, he came across this verse in his reading:

"If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." Ecclesiastes 4:10 (NLT)

He actually thought this was quite funny, and sent it to me in a text message - claiming it was "my" verse for this season. I have to admit I also thought it was funny, but of course, we both agreed that there is more in this scripture than just an opportunity to tease me about falling. :)

Let's put it in context; this passage is verses 9-12. The NLT has "The Advantages of Companionship" as the heading for this paragraph:

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

Of course, I am certain I am not alone in having heard this passage before - many times. Yet, I am struck anew by its relevance and its message as I think about the happenings of my own fall. In this particular example, my stumble was literal, and I am struck with a new appreciation for my companion that night. He didn't leave my bedside - literally, and he reached out to help me when I needed it. I am struck as I write with a wave of gratitude for not only him, but also for the others in my life whose hand is always within reach when I find myself on the ground.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I'm not going to buck tradition, but instead embrace it. I'm giving thanks today for companions whose hands are outstretched, and who stand with me when I have a battle to fight. And with God's powerful love woven amidst our fellows in Christ, what is there for us to fear?

For Me

Remember this: The Lord is FOR YOU. (Psalm 56:9)

There is much cause for celebration even in just letting that truth simmer and settle into your heart.

"Give your burdens to the Lord,

and he will take care of you.

He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." Psalm 55:22 (NLT)

He loves us with a pure & true love. His love is active and ever-present. I had a VERY godly woman chide me the other day for saying, "I worry about...."

"Never worry," she said. "Worry is sin."

She's right of course; that's Bible. Worry is sin. Trust in Him. I am trusting in Him. I know that He is for me. He is taking care of me - right now. There is much cause for praise! He will NOT permit me to slip & fall. Thank You, Father!!!

Squirming

I was engaged in some heavy-duty conversation last night, and a dear friend of mine was lamenting the challenges of making relationships really work. We were discussing the hard work of being fully honest, vulnerability and speaking up at times and in ways that are frightening or intimidating. It has been my experience, in any case, that the most worthwhile relationships in my life have also taken some of the largest doses of courage and strength.

My friend made an off-handed, only half-serious comment, the basic gist of which was, "Well, maybe we're not meant to be in those relationships - you know, the ones where it's hard." My friend wasn't serious, but I did have to smile. "My theory," I said, "is that a certain degree of challenge in my fulfilling relationships is simply a sign that God loves me."

My friend looked at me strangely (you might be looking at your computer with much the same facial expression!).

"As I see it," I said, "the relationships that take the most from us - when they're relationships that are worthy of the energy - also happen to be those that grow and develop us the most."

I use the qualifier about relationships that are worthy of the energy, because I know I'm not the only one who's willfully delved into relationships that were not in God's will for me...relationships that shirked His instructions and (I thought) fulfilled my own plans and desires. That type of relationship has also been hard. But, for me, it's a different type of difficult. The pain and aggravation of one of these self-propelled relationships was often caused by the existence of the relationship itself, and were largely in response to ungodly behavior or circumstances by one party or the other (yes, sometimes that "ungodly" person was me!). In these relationships, I found my heard wrenching again and again.

By contrast, rather than feeling like I've been wrenched in some way, healthy relationships in which I choose to really "dig deep" and show up usually leave me feeling like I'm squirming a bit. There's discomfort, yes. And some truth and honesty is painful in its own way...but, even with all that being true, there is a release in all of it. And the journey bears its own price again and again. That type of honesty and intention leads to a greater understanding of God, a truer commitment to Christ's ideals and a greater ability, for me, to lay down my self and seek after Him.

So, I guess my summary here is that, at least in my experience, wrenching is not good. But squirming just shows I'm living into God's will. Many great Bible teachers have spoken at length about the need to push past our comfort zones. A great pastor at my church recently remarked that our comfort zones "aren't places we were meant to live; they're places we're meant to rest." And I know Beth Moore has said that, if you're not being stretched into some sort of discomfort in your relationships, you're living in a world that is too small. Jesus stretched. Ah, I could probably write days on that alone. Can you imagine? Do you think Jesus' days were comfortable in almost any way? Thanks to the grace of our Father, His resolve was able to remain firm. Yet, I suspect, He probably had days where even He wanted to squirm a bit too...

Truth Telling

I'm fairly certain that no one reading this post would disagree with me in saying that honesty is of the utmost importance to God. I wonder if I might lose a few of you if I modify my statement to say that "Absolute honesty is of the utmost importance to God."

I wonder how many of you might start considering the true definition of absolute honesty, as I have been lately.

The Bible tells us that the truth will set us free (John 8:32). It also encourages its reader, over and over again, to be truthful and to reject falsehoods (Ephesians 4:25, Proverbs 30:8, etc). Furthermore, there is Biblical example after example of the Godly pursuit of speaking truth. In many instances, truth is also closely connected with love...it might not be too far a stretch to say that love cannot exist without truth, nor truth without some form of love.

Along these same lines, there is this phrase we use that has been bothering me lately "Spare me the details" or "I spared him/her the full story." To "spare" someone seems to imply that the speaker is doing that person a favor; yet, the context of these statements often is within the cloak of opting out of a full truth. How much love can there be when half truths are spoken? Or partial truths omitted? Or raw truth avoided? What is left with absolute truth is shied away from?

I have been thinking a lot about this topic lately, and I suspect some of you are nodding along as you read. I don't think it would be hard to find people willing to join in my rally cry for "Truth!" Yet, I see the hypocrisy when I look at my own life. How many times have I avoided answering a question, because I didn't want to give my full, most truthful answer? How many times have I hoped to dodge a particular topic, because of hesitation about sharing the truthful account of my experience with a certain person or topic?

And yet, at the same time, would I not tell any child that a partial truth is not the truth at all?

I'm still considering this topic, and I invite you to do the same. I wonder what my life would look like, and in what areas there would be change, if I committed absolutely to rigorous honesty without exception. It's important to speak the truth with love, yes...but to continue to speak the truth nonetheless. Agree?

Permissive

Our pastor recently challenged us all to begin earnestly praying Psalm 139:23&24:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,

and lead me along the path of everlasting life." (NLT)

As he pointed out, verse 24 is really where the rubber meets the road. "Point out anything in me that offends you..."

Well, I have been praying this prayer, and I have to say I was not anticipating the things that God has been pointing out to me. So far, He's shown me a couple key areas in which I need to do some work. However, both of these areas elicited, from me, a surprising response. When the Lord said, "Hey, look at this," my heart's instant reaction was "Yeah, I know." Yikes!

I had expected (hoped?) that He would reveal things to me that were surprising areas - new frontiers just opening up before me. Instead, I realized, He was pointing out areas that offended Him, and they happened to also be areas where I knew I had some work to do.

God didn't say, "Hey, look at the ways in which you judge others" only for me to respond with, "What? I didn't know I did judge anyone!" Instead, my honest, unfiltered response was "Yeah, I know...I do that a lot, don't I?"

So, what I'm realizing is that - in addition to God pointing out these specific areas, He's also calling into question a bigger offense: my own permissiveness with my sin.

I've said, "Well, yeah, I do judge people sometimes, but pretty much only strangers. It's not like they're my friends or family." YIKES.

I'm just being honest here...but the truth is, I do have areas in which I sort of "let things slide." It's not like I pause and make a reasoned, rational decision. I don't think, "Well, I am pretty sure a little sin is no big deal." If I thought it through that much, I'd respond to my own conviction. Instead, these are areas - some of which may seem "minor" - that I sort of see slide past the radar as they happen. I just don't let them sit on the radar long enough to set off any warning bells.

So, as I continue to pray Psalm 139:23 & 24, I encourage you to do the same. I also encourage you to scour your life for areas in which you may have your own permissiveness showing up. Perhaps you will not find any, and I pray that is the case! But, for me, there are a few things that I know it's time to work on. So, here I go!

Representation

I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of representation. Many have surely heard it said that part of our job, here on earth, is to represent God to those around us. Hopefully you've all heard the saying that "You may be the only Bible someone ever reads" or "You may be the only Jesus someone gets to meet." The idea behind these phrases, of course, is that YOU carry the message of Christ, in all you do, in all you say.

The Bible tells us that we are surrounded by a "great cloud of witnesses" (see Heb 12:1). These witnesses are perhaps meant to be the angelic host, perhaps there is more to it. I am not certain. What I am sure about, though, is that the people in our lives see us. There are children in our world, coworkers in our days, neighbors on our streets and family at our holidays. And when they see you - even out of the corner of their eyes - they are taking in parts of the story of who you are.

It took me a couple years to be ready to put a Christian symbol on my car after committing my life to Jesus. I wanted to make sure I could be a consistently gracious driver before I went around advertising myself as a believer. And if that thought strikes you as unpleasant - that a "Jesus fish" or bumper sticker or other identifier is equivalent to "advertising yourself as a believer," then please remember that people do notice. And whatever your motivation may be for your cross necklace, Christian bumper sticker or sloganed T-shirt, it's the non-believer that you encounter who is your primary audience. It is to him or her that you are representing Jesus. Think...every day you climb into your car, little Jesus fish on the back, you take on the mantle of emissary for the Lord. And each time you talk about going to church, all in hearing distance become the mission field...

My heart's desire is to be someone that others see and think, "She's different. I wonder what it is." But, God, I ask you would NEVER let it be that others would see me and, on any level, think "Gosh, I thought she was a Christian."

None of us are perfect, and I am not the only one who will fall short of the ideal from time to time. But, when I remember that the word "represent" really is re-presenting Jesus to those around me, I remember the weight of the responsibility of being His. There is a whole cloud of witnesses who see me with spiritual eyes; yet the audience here in my daily life is no less important.