Withstanding

So, I’m feeling kinda “eh” today. I wish I weren’t, and there is a part of me that thinks that I “shouldn’t” reveal that here. I mean, after all, it’s the internet. And, plus, doesn’t accepting the role of writer of this blog of Spirit-inspired reflections mean I’m supposed to be somehow immune from “eh”? Ha ha. Nothing could be farther from the truth, I’m pretty sure. Plus, regardless of what I should or shouldn’t do, it is what it is. My day is a little “eh.” Now, to clarify, I don’t feel terrible today. I am not depressed or angry or down-heartened. I’m just sort of heavy feeling today. And this probably should come as no great surprise to me.


Afterall, as I’ve been writing, it’s been a couple weeks of enemy attacks for me. So, maybe it’s no surprise that I’m not feeling super buoyant today. My personal opinion is that I give over power to the enemy not by having a day of “eh”, but instead by giving control over to the “eh.” Several years ago, I went through an intense season of grief and fear. For months, I would wake up and feel the palpable weight of fear next to me in the bed. I would say (often outloud), “Okay fear. I see you. I acknowledge that you’re here. And I can’t necessarily force you to leave…but, you don’t get to own the day.”


This might not be exactly as I’d approach this today (I’ve learned a lot about the power of prayer, and the authority of a believer in the intervening years), but I think there’s some intelligence in the ideas behind it. Look, it’s unlikely that I will come to a day in my life when the enemy will have completely lost interest in trying to destroy me. He comes to seek, kill and destroy. It’s kind of his thing. Fine. And even if that day comes in my lifetime, when he is stopped once and for all, odds are that it won’t be before this season of testing has passed. So, okay. Then that still leaves me with a set of decisions to make about how I’m going to show up and do this thing today.


And believe you me, I intend to show up. As the story continues (and yeah, I am going to keep referring to this idea of bigger stories taking place in my life; frankly, I kinda like the concept. This is just me, living through the writing of my own testimony), I feel like the new direction I got from the Lord today was about being brave.


I’d already shared the verses that came to me a couple days ago: “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord” Psalms 27:13-14 (NLT).


So, I thought I’d take a look at this word that’s translated into “brave” here. Here are some tidbits from the Strong’s definition: “to fasten upon…be strong…to bind…restrain…conquer…be constant…encourage (self)…harden…prevail…retain,” and lastly, “to be sure…withstand.”


Ahhhh, how wonderful is the word of God! I can almost hear these words, “Be brave, Marina. Fasten upon me, child. Be strong. Bind the lies of the enemy. Restrain your fear. Conquer the temptation to doubt. Be constant in Me. Encourage yourself. Harden your resolve. Prevail. Retain your belief. Be sure. Withstand.”


So, here it is… testing will come. Like I said, it’s what Satan does. And for me, testing has come today a-knockin’ on my door. So, okay. I see you there, Satan. I see you, but I will not yield. In the holy name of Jesus Christ, who sent me into the world to be a part of His body, His church, I bind your lies. I bind your tongue, and I bind your efforts to distract, to destroy. In the name of Jesus, I call forth the peace of the Lord. I call to You, Father, and ask You to be with me – and be with others living into tests of their own – and help us believe You, God. Help us to know that we know that we know that You are for us, and You are not against us. That You know the plans You have for us, and that they are plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Lord, help us to remember deep in the fiber of our being that You work all things together for the good of those that love You, for the good. Help me love You ever better, Lord. Thank You!


I feel like this may be my calling for today (and Lord, really, if this trial extends only through the end of today, that’d be just fine by me). To yield myself to His work, to let Him do whatever He’s doing. And to stand firm, to believe Him for His promises, and to be brave. To be sure. To withstand.


Lord, You know even better than I do that I can only withstand by Your strengthening. I can only be sure by Your work inside me. Help me, Lord. Help me. Thank You…