Quiet

So, about a month ago, our church began a 40 day journey - one that we, as a church, undertake periodically. I'm grateful for that fact; it's been a blessing to me personally, and I'm -because of the sheer power of prayer - many others. Along with the 40 days of 24/7 prayer, it was suggested to us that we consider fasting during the 40 day period. I prayed about the fast, and felt led to fast television.

I'll admit; this seemed a little funny to me, because I didn't think I watched that much TV. And, 35 days or so into the 40 days, I still don't think I watch much TV. That said, I think I understand some more things about His purpose in this leading.

Initially, I suspected that He wanted me to lean on Him for relaxation. I don't have cable, and the only TV I do watch is through free online sites. There are 3 or 4 shows I like to keep up on, but I don't feel particularly attached to them in any deep way. But, I do use them to relax. Often, when I get home at the end of the day, I pull out the laptop and put on a show... just as a sort of half-engaging background to the time of winding down at the end of my day.

I thought, "God wants me to let Him be my source for relaxation as well. Okay, great." Well, I think that was "kind of" the point. I certainly don't think that God has anything against a bubble bath, a quiet book or even a movie as a mode of relaxation. Quite the contrary; I think He probably gave us all these wonderful opportunities to relax just to help us out and give us pleasure!

Here is what I am realizing about my own life, though. In the time since I started my TV fast, I've noticed that I listen to a LOT more radio. If I'm home, and not on the phone, it's pretty much a sure bet that I have the radio going - usually public talk radio... voices. I also often have Facebook or Twitter pulled up. I am a child of my era - always ready for the mass inundation of communication from the world around me.

But, you know who I don't hear then? God.

I think God has helped me to see that I almost constantly have some sort of "noise" around me. I spend some true "quiet time" with the Lord each morning, but that is definitely intentional and certainly requires some discipline. For some reason, I seem so ready to fill the quiet spaces in life. In fact, I've noticed that the only times I go out of my way to turn off all those sources of input are when my head feels overwhelmed and my thoughts are racing. It seems the noise inside my head is sometimes enough. :)

So, I'm not sure what the take-away is quite yet. I tend to think that awareness often creates the action needed, and that may be simply that. But I can say that... for myself, I am certainly considering the space I create (or don't) for silence in my every day. How about you?