Me x 2? or 3? or 4?

I love that, sometimes, God just goes ahead and makes it perfectly clear that He's trying to get my attention. I had 2 conversations today, with two totally unrelated persons, about the exact same subject. And, both times, the other person is the one who brought it up. Might seem irrelevant, but I felt sure God was giving me a writing topic.

So, here's the topic: are you the same person when you approach the throne of God as you are when you sit and eat dinner with your friends?

Now, if you're response to this is, "Huh?!," then please bear with me!

The best way I think I can expound on this is to keep it simple and just speak for myself. For me, I can say that - at this point in my life - I am mostly the same person regardless of the context in which you find me. There are, of course, certain friends I have that really bring out my silly side, or my philosophical side, or whichever side you might want to think of. And, when I'm alone with God, there is a certain deep sweet spot that is revealed and exposed within me that few others ever get to see. These subtle shifts in how I reveal myself to the world, and which parts of my personality are most noticeable are, I think, pretty normal. My suspicion is that it's one of the fun parts of God putting a unique personality in each of us.

Now, while all these different facets have certain lights in which they shine most, I still think I'm pretty much the same around different folks. I think that my friends at work and my friends at church could easily sit down and discuss what I'm "like" and all agree. One friend may see a certain side more frequently or with more clarity than another, but overall, they each see me.

I'd like to take a moment to just interject that this fact has certainly not always been true for me; before being rescued by the one true Redeemer, I had many, many years in which I basically had a few different "selfs" and I just put on the one that seemed to best suit any given context. I was so afraid of being rejected for who I was (knowing that rejection can come in many different forms) that I didn't feel able to just put on me, and let the reactions and responses of the world fall away. With years (many, many years!) of hard work - including the looking within honestly, sharing who I *truly* am, and finally just surrendering myself up to Jesus for healing, I feel that change has been effected in me. I am changed. Personally, I think that seldom do we change as people. I think we can change our behaviors, but when it comes to true, essential, internal change, I think that rather than changing ourselves, our selves are changed by God.

Okay, now, back to the topic at hand. Forget different groups of friends, professional contexts, and etc. What I think I'm meant to hone in on today is the me (and the you) that is present when coming to kneel before the throne. In worship, in prayer... not that it's a necessary thing to do, but IF I were to reveal that same self without any filters to the world, would it match the me they already know? Would I simply be a more transparent, more vulnerable version of the me they see? Or would they be surprised? Shocked even?

And, in the same vein, if Jesus were to show up at the local hang out and sit down next to my friends and I, would He be surprised at who He saw? And, perhaps more importantly, how would you feel?

I know there was a time in my life when the idea of sitting at a table with even my different groups of friends would have provoked anxiety; I don't think I would have known how to behave had the different worlds in my life collided. Throw Jesus into the thought, and I probably would have imploded! (Praise You, Lord, for the healing work You've done in me!!!)

So, you probably saw this coming, but the final comment here is that Jesus IS there when you sit with your friends at dinner. He's there when you're in the car, laughing with a friend, and even when you're discussing a hurtful situation with a significant other. He sees. He knows. And thank the heavens, He loves! That said, I'll invite you to join with me today in making a point to imagine the physical person of Jesus sitting next to me as I go through my day; I wonder if anything will be different than if I'd gone through my day business as usual.

Reveal to me, oh Lord, the things You desire for me to see today! I thank You that there is no condemnation in Christ, and I welcome Your conviction. Lead me in the ways of righteousness and truth! I love You!