I'm quite pleased to be able to check in with you all today, and say that, for today, I am not "eh." This past weekend, we sat in church worshipping, and I found myself crying as we sang (not at all unusual; I cry at Disney movies, commercials, you name it...so, worship? Oh heck yeah - at least 2/3 of the time!). I found myself praying through what I'd written earlier that day - and just affirming for God that, no matter what, He was my number one. I told Him that - no matter what came - I would be a heart wholly committed to Him.
Then I realized and remembered that key element: I could only do this - stay wholly committed to Him in potential times of desperation and testing - with His help. (Oh the mysteries of God - they amaze me and baffle me all at once sometimes!) So my prayer took on renewed urgency, and I just let Him know, "I desire to be Yours, totally Yours... but I need strength to stay committed; I need power to believe You even in the hard times!"
All the while, we're singing... "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord..." (wow... theme much, Lord?!?)...
Then, we move into our teaching for the night... and our Pastor is talking about trying to find our way through the dark - and that we need light to not trip and fall as we search through the times of life where it seems dark, and hard to find the clear way.
Yep, check. I don't care how big or how small the testing is that comes, but I know this is something to which we can all relate. I don't know about you, but even when it's a little thing, lost is lost, friend. If I can't find my way, I feel about as lost as I can be. I'm not sure partially lost exists. It may be one of those all or nothing things!
Anyway, I'm listening - earnestly - and knowing I'm hearing a good word. And Pastor Greg is talking about the Word, the Bible and how it is our light in darkness - always available to us, and always a viable guide.
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" Hebrews 4:12 (NIV).
Or, if you rather, (and this is the translation that really hit home for me), The Message says it this way: "God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon's scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God's Word. We can't get away from it—no matter what" Hebrews 4:12-13 (MSG).
It just helped remind me in the way I needed reminding: no one can escape His hand and loving gaze. I have a thing I sometimes need to tell myself... and I've heard myself say it to a few others too. I say, "Marina, even you cannot derail God." See, I tend to get a little too big for my britches sometimes, and I worry that my disobedience, or my doubt or my fear can stop Him from being who He is, or doing what He says He'll do. It can't. Thankfully, it really can't.
So, this message this weekend, and the reminder about God being immovable and faithful to the end was good for my heart. Furthermore, I was reminded of a crucial piece. The truth is in the Word. We DO get an instruction manual for life. It's the Bible.
And if I am in the Word, and if those in my life stay rooted in the Word, I will find the direction I need - and so will they. I can't get in His way - not like that I can't. And if I listen, His living and active Word for MY life (and yours!) will set me right.
Here's another one of my favorite verses: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it'" Isaiah 30:21 (NIV). I am almost certain I've written about it before.
See, for me, I tend to fear not that God won't speak truth to me, but that I won't hear Him right, and will thereby ruin the entire universe. It sounds extreme, but I admit, somedays it feels that way! So, I am grateful for the explicit and implicit assurances of His written Word. I can only go so far out of His way. If I stay close, and stay submitted, I will stay (more or less) on course.
So much fear melted away from my heart in the hours following this wonderful time at church. I'm so grateful to be in a place where I'm fed so directly and so frequently! So, I will keep reading. Maybe it's just the reassurance of something concretely written out in black and white... but even though the understanding of it is so left to the Spirit, I love opening up the Bible and finding a word for me. He is here with us always, and I am so grateful!
2 comments:
If I step too far out of God's will, He is powerful enough, and caring enough to set me right:)
Amen to that! I'm so grateful He doesn't leave us out there on our own...!
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