However, when March 15th rolled around, I still hadn't really committed this verse to memory... so I gave myself a do over; my verse for March 15th was Psalm 86:11 in the NIV: "Teach me Your way, Lord, that I may rely on Your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name."
Then, tonight, for no reason of which I'm aware, I suddenly read the verse in a totally new way. I'm going to use the magic of italics to see if I can convey how it hit me:
"Teach me Your way, Lord, that I may rely on Your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name."
For the last month, I've been reading this verse, and honestly, focusing primarily on the second half. As I continue to identify and depose the idols in my life and heart, I was caught by the idea of asking God for an undivided heart. I love that concept! My heart can be so divided; this much I know.
And until tonight, the first part of the verse was sort of just introductory stuff. Poetry or the rote type of stuff that is all over the Bible. I hate to admit it, but I often read the Bible and find much of its truth falling without a second thought into the "nice Bible stuff" folder in the side drawer of my brain.
Thank goodness I'm not limited to my own natural tendencies (see side drawer filing system noted in previous paragraph). Tonight, the Holy Spirit taught me a new insight about this verse. The first part of the prayer is a request to be taught God's way. All month long, I bet I would have told you that it was God's "ways" - plural. I was thinking of it in terms of generalities: "teach me how You work." And, of course, this is a worthwhile prayer! BUT that's not what I see here tonight. Suddenly, realizing that this verse reads [singular] "way" put the idea of a specific context, incident or situation in my mind.
I imagined myself looking up at my Father, in the midst of my own trials and temptations to fear and doubt...and in the midst of that saying, "God, show me how You want this to look! Show me YOUR way to do this thing! Show me YOUR way to do this conversation or this waiting or this service." The most beautiful part tonight, however, is what came next. Inherent in the verse was the "if this, then that" truth I needed tonight. "Teach me Your way, Lord, that I may rely on Your faithfulness...." When I look to the Lord for His way to do life, and when I ask for His instruction and when I walk in His discipleship, I don't have to trust in my own understanding, or in those around me, or in the "odds" or anything else. I get to trust in, rely on and rest in His faithfulness. And the Lord is faithful absolutely.
As many times as I learn it, this lesson never ceases to be surprisingly new and fresh to my spirit; I hope that never changes.
Tonight, in my own deep dark crevices and cracks of life, I'm asking You, God, to show me Your way to walk this one out. I thank You that I can trust in Your teaching, in Your faithfulness to teach it and in all that will flow from there. Thank You, Lord for being who You are!