A Side of Jesus?

There's one really important word in the Bible that I'd like to write about today. It's a word that, when I see it, I know to take note; it's very likely giving me an important piece of instruction. That word is "then."

I lived my life for many years missing out of the full richness of a life in true relationship with God. We had Bible verses on the wall hangings in my house growing up; I was a Youth Group regular, and as an adult even participated in several intensive Bible studies.

However, when it came down to it, my intellectual pursuits left me unfulfilled and searching. I didn't really realize that I wasn't looking for an answer; I was looking for a leader and a friend. Then, at both the apex and the starting point of a beautiful set of journeys, I met Jesus in a new way for the very first time.

My life changed. I changed. My life and my heart and my mind are continuing to transform and to change, and I couldn't be happier. Nor could I be more blissful. That is such a strange thought to me; there was a time when I thought getting to a place of "happy" was all I was looking for. Turns out that I was looking for a place of Holy, and that happy was just a continual by-product, regardless of the twists and turns in the road.

In those past years, that past life, I pursued with intensity; that's just how I am. Give me a task, a chore, a job, a goal, and I will go after it. With everything in me. I don't tend to have a problem with half measures.

Problem is, I was pursuing the wrong thing. My trajectory was just the tiniest bit off, but it made all the difference. I was pursuing life...the life I thought I wanted, the life I thought I needed and certainly the life I hoped I deserved. And I was trying to chase after that life in a Godly way; I had Jesus and the Bible and church and study smeared all over the walls of my prison. And none of it helped get me out.

You know why? It's because the life of discipleship isn't supposed to be life as you know it or imagine it with just a little smattering of Jesus on top. That's what being "set apart" is all about.

So, with that as my commentary, I bring us back to the word "then."

Please look at this passage from Isaiah; it's a little long, but believe me it's worth it:

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:6-11 (NIV)

Ahhhh! This is some of the most beautiful poetry, on a soul level, for me!

Oh how I craved that! I wanted light; I sought after that rear guard and springs and guidance and help! Oh how I needed them desperately; my heart cringes a little to think about the heartache I lived in for so many years. Oh friends...I looked in every wrong place, and I spent SO much energy and effort in doing so!

Now, please, go back and notice all the instances of that all-important word, "then," in this passage.

This passage, to me, says "Don't go chasing after the light and the warm fuzzies. Chase after the things *I* am about and things my heart chases after; there you will find Me, and when you find Me, all the other light and safety you have craved will be found." For it is in Him alone.

I'm going to repeat myself, but I think it bears repeating: Life, as He offers it, isn't meant to look like the world with just a little smear of Jesus on the walls. We are meant to be different. And so often we think of "different" as scary, but it seems more and more true to me that the different I find when I look His way is the freedom I was looking for all along.