"Expect More of Me"

I have a new phrase that I feel the Lord spoke over me in the midst of a few days of intense spiritual communication and contact. I was praying from such a pure and raw place in my heart through this short period, and sharing everything - from joys and praise to fears and questions. I sometimes feel like the Lord speaks back to me very clear answers or direction or comfort, etc. Well, what He said in the midst of all this (the only thing I heard Him say clearly) was this:

"Expect more of Me."

Please, take a pause with me and just soak that in...I think it's something He could say to every one of us. Imagine Him saying it right into your own heart:

"Expect more of Me."

There's an initial intellectual reaction inside me that says, "Oh, yeah, of course! I always underestimate God." But, when I stop and let that seep deeper into my heart and spirit, I feel such a sense of intimacy with Him. He is urging me, in the most loving and gentle of ways to trust Him more, to love Him more, to just go farther with Him, in Him. And, of course, He knows I need to the urging.

Whether it be about a lack of trust or simple habitual pattern, I do tend to be awfully self-sufficient. Ridiculously self-sufficient at times, I have to admit. And along side this tendency in me is a sort of glossing over that happens when it comes to others.

When others offer to help me in some way, I often breeze right past them, dismissing them in this way that almost seems to indicate the offer never was made. It's been brought to my attention only recently that this is not only not-the-best for me, but that it can hurt others. So, it's something I'm working with and working on. It's something I'm asking for help with.

And yet, even when I come to God for help (and He's the one I come to for help more than any other), I still tend to come asking for the bare minimum. It's a silly example, but as a way to demonstrate, I think it's fair to say that if I were struck with some horrible illness, I'd potentially know to ask for complete healing, but, truthfully, I'd probably also pray for just the ability to tolerate whatever it was with which I found myself afflicted. And, to add further conviction to my own lot, it's true that, regardless of what I ask for, I often don't expect to get it, or at least not all of it. I sort of tend to operate sometimes on this basis of not wanting to get my hopes up.

And while this all makes perfect sense on the natural plane, it's rather startlingly detached from who God is and what He is all about. This is the God of the universe we're talking about here; He created and designed every fiber of my being, every glimmer in my soul and every facet of the world around me. All by simply speaking it into existence. I think, for me, that some of this is habit. I have spent the vast, vast majority of my years living and approaching life in a certain way. And I do want to be patient with myself as I learn to let Jesus change and mold me.

I suspect, too, that there may be an element of distrust that unconsciously comes into play. Why expect so little of God? Why, within the realm of imagination, might I want to "not get my hopes up" when it comes to God Almighty, my very own Creator? Well, maybe I'm just a little afraid that He won't show up. Or, maybe I'm just worried He won't show up in the time or place or way in which I want. Ahh, surrender.

My suspicion is that all three of these elements (habit, mistrust, willfullness) come into play for me, and maybe for you? I don't know. Those are questions I can't answer.

What I can do is remember the word He spoke directly to me: "Expect more of Me."

Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord! Yes, yes, Lord! "I believe, I believe! Help me with my unbelief!" (see Mark 9)