Well, my friends, although my own personal work on this blog is barely beginning, I think it's clear that my own personal journeys are going to somewhat apparent to all. This is perhaps my tenth post in total, and again today the theme striking me is that of believing God.
"In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one" Ephesians 6:16 (ESV).
Probably like many of us, I have heard the phrase "the lies of the enemy" for years. However, it's only been more recently that I've really started to have an awareness of what that really means, and how it really operates in my daily life...and, believe me, that enemy is busy! I definitely encounter him in my life daily!
I shared last week that I have a particular area in which I've really felt the Lord asking me to let go; His message to me was simple and clear: He's going to take it from here. Of course, He's always been "in charge", but I have often held Him at bay and tried to manage this particular area of my world alone. With His help, and as I've learned greater degrees of surrender, I have experienced a growing freedom in that area of my heart, but the Lord spoke clearly to me earlier this year: "I have more freedom for you than you can even imagine." After I felt Him speak that to me, I started asking more urgently in prayer for guidance on how to get there, to that place of freedom. "Let go." That's my answer.
I have run into two major challenges in this regard: 1) I don't really seem to know how to let go, and 2) I'm afraid to actually do so. I don't know that there's much I can do about the first of these two issues, other than admit it regularly, ask for help and guidance, pray like crazy and be open to change and growth. I feel peaceful around that point. As for number two? I feel that God is using this point to really raise up the dross of my unbelief. There is far more content there than even I would have imagined - and I would have counted on a hefty load!
I find myself wondering (and this is just me being honest), "Does God really love me?" "Does that mean He really, really is going to take care of me, and heal this part of me?" "I wonder what else it is that *I* need to do..." And on and on and on. Does that sound like letting go to you? :) Well, I'll give you my answer to that question. It isn't the talk of someone who has fully let go and surrendered, but I heard somewhere that letting go is a process. And, for me, that sounds exactly like the earnest search of being in-process.
So, allow me to bring this back to our verse for today...
Intellectually, I recognize these questions as seedlings of the enemy's lies (or maybe shadows of full grown trees...). I recognize the lie in each of them; I know chapter and verse the scripture counteracting them. And yet, I find myself susceptible to this wandering wondering. So, what do I do? My old plan would have been to "try harder." Try harder to not think that way, try harder to be convinced, try harder to feel loved, etc etc etc. I've found - with exhaustive research - that trying harder pretty much never works. And in the rare instances in which it yields some small gain, it leaves me worn out completely. That is definitely not the freedom for which we have been set free; I know that too.
So, this verse gives me the key. All the flaming lies and arrows of the enemy? I cannot stop them from flying in my direction, BUT, I do have a shield on my side (and a whole set of protective tools detailed in the rest of this passage). That shield is faith.
The first definition listed at Dictionary.com says, "confidence or trust in a person or thing." In other words, believing. Or, in a definition that, in some ways, feels more practical to me: "Now, faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1 (ESV).
So, how do I get there from here? I keep doing what I'm doing. I talk about it - with the Lord, with you, with friends...if you know me, you know that I definitely can do some talking! And I pray. I ask for help. Like that wonderful, wonderful story of the father with the ailing son, I cry out to God. "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24 (NIV).
As my own personal sense of conviction about unbelief looms ever larger in my view, I will be pursuing a strengthened belief with gusto. God is very kind to often give me a sort of general sense of what it is that He would like me to be focusing on season to season. This, I believe, is His current direction. The areas of bondage we all feel in our lives are simple successes of the enemy and his pursuit of our ineffectiveness. If I am mortally wounded by his flaming darts, the sword of the Spirit has far less opportunity to cut through the world around me! I am praying for help with my unbelief. It was for complete liberation that we have been set free (Galatians 5:1, AMP); I encourage you as I encourage myself to settle for nothing less!
No comments:
Post a Comment