I decide to come back toward the Lord all the time; sometimes multiple times in a day, sometimes less, and sometimes it feels like even more! It's very easy for me, with my stubborn tendency toward self-sufficiency to try to step out on my own...my own power, my own wisdom, my own strength.
Of course, I just keep finding trickier and more subtle ways to do this. I've realized that, lately, I seem to be operating as if the details of my morning routine with the Lord are "the key" to how my day goes. Now, don't get me wrong; I believe that taking time to connect with Him each morning is important. I'd go so far as to say that I believe that whether or not I take the time and make the room to be filled up by the Spirit in the morning also has a significant impact on my day. However, the subtle (and crucial) distinction is that it's the power of the Spirit that's making the difference! It's not me & my routine! My faith in the routine is just another area in which I need to work on releasing myself from my self-dependence, and looking more and more to God for sustenance.
One of my internal and mental challenges around this concept is that I truly feel like I am not sure how I'm supposed to make that shift. Honestly, I've lived in my self-sufficiency for so long, I don't really "get" what God-dependency looks like, let alone what part is mine to making that a reality in my daily life!
The scripture for this morning encourages me in this regard:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV).
Although this is a power-house scripture on several levels, the part that really spoke to me this morning was the last part. When I wander off into my "I can do it" realm - no matter how unconsciously - I always need to come back. Come back to Him, come back to surrender, come back to a place of yielded control...the great news, evidenced here, is that even as I wander, He never leaves me! He goes with me! Hallelujah!
Truly, the Lord knows that I need Him! I need His protection as I travel the paths of my own making. I need His guidance as I (repeatedly) stumble through the little mini-journeys (and the big ones!) of learning that my way and my power are useless. I need His love as I find my way back to His heart. And I need His companionship every step of the way. Without Him, I am lost - truly. And as my natural self seems to repeatedly try to get me lost for good, I am never forsaken. For He never leaves my side.
He's a faithful friend, a patient lord and a Holy God. Praise Him today!
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