Two-Fold Trust & a Twist

Have you ever heard something someone says...maybe only once, but probably no more than two or three times, but that leaves such an impression it seems like something they say all the time?

Well, I've got one. I'm pretty sure our pastor has only said this a couple times, but (luckily!) I feel like I've heard it a LOT. This is the gist of it:

Trusting God means trusting 1) His character and 2) His abilities.

This, of course, begs the question "When I don't trust, which one am I doubting? God's character or His abilities?"

Well, for me, this is a great question to ask myself in the midst of fear or doubt. I find it's helped me get to the root of various fears (viz. lies from the enemy) and find a path back to standing in faith. Old shadows from the past can creep in and lead me into a place where I'm (usually unconsciously) doubting God's abilities, or His character. In all honesty, for me, I usually come to a place when I start pulling at this thread that leaves me astounded to realize what it is I have been doubting. God is soooo good; yet, my human heart can jump to such other conclusions sometimes.

So, in a recent struggle I was having, I decided to ask myself this question. What I realized was that what I had thought was fear was truthfully not. I wasn't doubting God. I wasn't doubting His abilities or His character (hallelujah!). Instead, I was "doubting" whether or not I wanted to truly surrender to His plan on this specific front.

I've heard it said that - to us - God sure has a funny sense of timing, and from my tiny vantage point, He also seems to take a pretty strange path to get from point A to point B at times. Of course, I understand that my sight of things is generally hugely flawed, and that's why I get to choose again and again to submit to HIS plan and, inherently, His view of things.

So, in my recent time of "doubt," I was grateful to have exposed that I wasn't actually doubting Him. I was doubting my own desire to truly submit, surrender, obey and yield. Once I realized what was really going on, I knew I had the privilege of choice. I got to choose. So, armed with a reminder that I do trust in His character and that I do trust in His ability, I chose to surrender. I chose to yield control. And I'm sure I'll surprise no one by saying it all worked out for the best. He is good. In being and in deed.