Always Something

There's a saying that goes "It's always something." I've been thinking about one of the potential usages of this phrase lately, and asking myself, "Is it really?"

I have spent a good portion of my life working to improve, trying to grow and striving to succeed. Before I learned to let the Lord fuel these quests, I found myself to be one very tired person!

What I'm seeing lately is that, unlike previous times in my life, I seem to go through short periods where, really, nothing major is going on. When someone asks me, "So, what, deep down, is going on with you?" Every now and then, I don't really have anything to offer as an answer. These times are usually short lived (God seems to start a new lesson soon), but for awhile, I found them to be unnerving.

I think I was so accustomed to always working to get "better," that I found that times in which I wasn't knee-deep in effort left me feeling afraid that I was either doing something wrong, or maybe getting worse!

More recently, I've realized that God is working in me, even in the times in which it seems like He's not. For starters, He's teaching me how to rest. My desire to do do do and go go go in my search for development is fundamentally an attempt to control. I feel like if I'm not doing something, I'll miss whatever the "something" is I'm supposed to be finding. The truth, however, is that when God is ready to get me into a lesson, I need only to be in a place of willingness to proceed down His path. He knows how to get things underway, regardless of whether or not I'm frantically scanning for a starting point.

It's amazing to me that He can work in me by seeming to not work in me. I'm shaking my head as I type. Sometimes, I feel completely humbled by His infinite wisdom. I know I say it a lot, but really, He knows what He's doing. I pray He'll continue to teach me to just follow His lead; it's all I need!