I was praying about what it means to be in leadership - at work, in ministry, and even in various relationships in my life. I was reflecting on what it really means to be in a position where others are looking up to me.
There are children in my life that look to me and whom I love dearly; I take seriously the responsibility of modeling appropriate behavior and boundaries for them. There are teenagers in my life, and I want them to see, in my example, ways they can resolve conflict and approach their own inner-growth process with dignity, faith and joy. I have employees that need to see me committing my efforts fully in my pursuits at work - and that the efforts are about being a person of character, not an employee seeking glory. And I serve in various ministries, and regardless of the context, I want those around me to look to me and see faithful humility, a countenance of graceful joy and the evidence of the fruit of the Spirit within me. And I have a man I love that I experiences an abundance of love, patience, understanding, adoration, grace and sacrificial giving in our relationship.
As I was praying, and considering all these various "roles," I heard myself say that being an example was "a great burden." I immediately retracted the words. My heart knew in that moment that I was wrong. It's a responsibility, yes, to be an example of the Lord's heart, to represent Him here on earth. Trust me, that "great cloud of witnesses" is often on my mind, and I wish I gave them less opportunity for what must be a host of holy sighs! I have many areas where my grade-card would probably read "Improvement needed." But my oh my, I am glad there isn't a spiritual grade-card. I give thanks for a God who never writes my sins in His book, now that I live in the well of His forgiveness and grace!
What I knew in that moment this morning was that the responsibility of being His representative wasn't a burden; I carry only the burdens I refuse to rest on His shoulders. Rather, it's a privilege. It is a privilege to be able to walk into my life and know that I can carry through even the most frustrating of days at work with a countenance of joy...not because I am so cheery and chipper, but because the King of Kings has sent His Spirit to me. It's an honor to be able to set down my own willfulness in deference to taking care of someone I love...again, not because I'm just this gracious and meek soul, but because He who is in me, is greater than he who is in the world. It IS the world and the enemy's hold in the world, in my world, that drive me toward selfishness, surliness and bitter resentment. Yet, it is the Lord who loves me that enables me to do all things. And that includes walking into every day in a way that speaks to those around me - all around me. In service or in leadership, yes...but also as I wait in line for groceries or lean against the car while pumping gas, I pray and ask that I would be one of those people that others would look at and think, "She's got something different inside her." I pray that they might ask, "What is it?" And, Lord, I pray for the boldness to be able to proclaim Your goodness without hesitation and with grace!
It isn't a burden to have these things on my mind; the consideration of them isn't heavy. The work is the Lord's to do. He renews minds. He transforms hearts. He fills and guides and directs. I need to only ask and receive. I have to be active in both parts, but He is faithful in deed!
I will live into the privilege and honor of calling You mine, Lord! Thank You for Your blessings!
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