Clothed with Patience

I found myself in a frustrating situation today. A friend of mine had acted in a way that left me feeling disrespected, frustrated and, honestly, hurt (although the hurt, initially, showed itself as anger). So, as I set out to spend some time with the Lord, I was thinking about the topic of forgiveness. I did some standard word-searching and tried to find something He was using to speak to me. Here's what I found:

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV).

I like to let the word-pictures in the Bible soak in sometimes. I sat back and imagined what it meant to be clothed in compassion, clothed in patience and gentleness. I imagined a heavy, luxurious robe coming down on me from above, and falling over every part of me - covering and clothing me completely. It's appropriate my imagination envisioned this cloak coming from above; for, truly, this kind of covering gentleness is only mine by way of the Holy Spirit.

At first, I just read this verse, hoping it would relax me and ease my heart. I'd be standing face-to-face with my friend soon, and I wanted to display the forgiving love of Jesus to her. It didn't work. I read it; I thought about it, but I still felt upset. I was fighting against my mind's desire to enjoy a little self-indulgent tirade. I truly felt called in the moment, however, to take captive my thoughts and to be a tiny bit self-sacrificial. I read something this morning in that came to mind: we're not called to sacrifice our selves necessarily; we're called to sacrifice our selfishness.

So, I did two things that made all the difference. 1) I started thinking about it from a point of view intended to shed the selfishness inherent in my indignation. I intentionally moved a position in my head; I've had enough life experience to know that this kind of intentional action often opens the door of willingness and allows for shift in my heart as well. And 2) I prayed. Lord, help me to have a tender heart. Help me to shed the ego involved in my wounded pride. Help me to lovingly embrace my friend, accept her apology and demonstrate selflessness to her in my response. Heal the sin in my heart that makes that hard; help me be willing to love in a moment where I don't really want to. Help me love because You love me.

Ah... that's the ticket. Honestly, my #1 of there probably made little difference other than allowing some space to let the light of the Lord in. I just needed help. And, in order to get that help, I needed to be willing to ask for it. Ask & you shall receive, He tells us. But, as the Word also says, so often we have not, because we ask not.

Lord, help me ask unabashedly for Your able help and assistance at every turn. I need You! And I need You to help me remember that too. Thank You for Your selfless and loving example. Help me live out my life in a way that honors the love You so freely give to me. Amen.